Hello,
I'm starting this thread because I recently started one in infant feeding and the whole thing has made me realise that my partner is a bit of an arsehole.
He doesn't actually do anything unless it directly benefits himself, and isn't particularly nice to me.
We had a DD nearly 7 months ago. She's been fully breast fed until we started BLW recently.
Since she has been born, my partner has not once got up with her in the night or in the mornings so that I can have a lay in. Yet every single opportunity he gets to have one, he does. If he doesn't start work until 11, he won't be up until 9. If he's not working that day, he won't be up until he is ready to get up ect.
Baby was born on a Sunday... The next day it was me rushing around getting my older DC ready for school and for the remaining 2 weeks of his paternity leave and his 2 weeks annual leave after that I was the one doing EVERYTHING whilst he would stay in bed until 11, then shoot off to the gym.
He doesn't do ANYTHING around the house.The rare occasion that he does he acts like he's fucking Cinderella and that he's doing me a massive massive favour. I can cook a dinner the night before, he can't even be bothered to chuck the chicken carcass in the bin and soak the pans. The next morning I will have to clear this all up before even getting started on breakfasts for myself and the kids. baring in mind he is the last up, he never ever makes the bed or opens the blinds.
DF and DFIL will come over and do the more diy type tasks because if it's left to him, it just doesn't get done. It's fucking embarrassing and it pisses me off that my dad will be over cutting the grass. My dad gets pissed off but does it because I'm his daughter and it's his grand children's garden. (I can't do these things myself due to disability). Whilst these sort of things are going on DP will be in bed, playing on his phone, laptop or at the gym. There won't be any offer of any sort to help out. His own dad has just done a beautiful job of decorating DDs bedroom (over the weekends as he works full time) and my DP hasn't even bothered to call to thank him. Entitled wanker.
He doesn't ever do anything nice for me. I asked him for a back rub the other day because my back was sore... He would only give me one if I rubbed his head for ten minutes (he actually timed it).
He never ever praises me, or says anything positive to me. He only focuses on the negative. I had a home birth with DD, and I did a fucking good job considering she had her head at a funny angle, all he does is go on about WHAT A BIG DEAL I MADE OUT OF THE WHOLE THING and the 'funny noises' I made (and does impressions of them taking the piss out of me, and even to his friends IN FRONT OF ME).
We were starting to plan our wedding. I want it local as we can't afford something fancy and my main friends who I want there more than anyone won't be able to afford something abroad. He's absolutely insistent that it's abroad. Like won't even discuss a 'boring English wedding'. He think we can rent a villa that sleeps ten, hold the wedding there, and have our grooms and bridal party stay there and SPLIT THE COST with them... As in a £10k and 10 bedroom villa would be charged to each person as £1k each!!!. (I can see the AIBU now 'DH being best man and charged to stay at wedding venue abroad, AIBU to tell them to fuck off!) what the fuck!
He has recently started playing with the baby more, but makes a particular show when he's in front of his mother, who thinks the sun shines out of his arse.
Another thing he keeps doing, which I find quite concerning. He throws all his energy, time and money into various business ideas... Chucks loads of time and money at them. Fails at the first hurdle and then gives up. Moves onto the next one. I'm a bookkeeper, yet he doesn't discuss a single thing with me. At first he was just chucking his disposable income into it but recently he's started borrowing to finance these. Since March/April I'd say it's verging on £15-£20k of wasted money on failing business ideas...
What the fuck do I do? I don't even like him ATM.
Oh just to add some context... I'm self employed and work from home around the baby and my older child (from a previous relationship) so the whole he's at work all day idea doesn't wash well with me.
Thanks in advance for any responses... I'm anticipating lots of LTBs!