Husband Popped out and didn't come back

[Justdisappointed]

I received a call several hours later to say he'd left me and needed time away. We have a 5 year old DD who is bewildered. He says he's going to return and "sleep" in the family home next week "while we decide what to do with it" this was by text and nothing since last week. I don't think there's an OW. I don't want a divorce and I don't want to lose my home. Do men ever come to their senses and return to the marriage?
Neither of us has been happy for months in fairness.

Thanks Glow - said that we're better off apart so that we don't argue. I pointed out that I have been the soul of graciousness these past three weeks even in the face of extreme provocation but that didn't make any difference apparently.

said that we're better off apart so that we don't argue. I pointed out that I have been the soul of graciousness these past three weeks even in the face of extreme provocation but that didn't make any difference apparently

Well of course it didn't make any difference . Because it's nothing to do with you and how you act . There's someone else he would rather be with at Christmas . It's not you and it's not his child.

Your being the soul of graciousness will not alter the fact that he checked out of your marriage months ago . You cannot win the pick me dance . I'm sorry

Kr1stina
Yes, I am coming to that conclusion in fact. Human nature being what it is I have one good day where I think - actually, yes, I'm well rid of him, and another where I just wish we could resolve our differences. I've read a lot of mumsnet posts and one of the things that really chimes with me is the sense of grief for what could have been, rather than what was. My DD said two nights ago "before, everything was perfect, I had a mummy and a daddy and now, just mummy." And this is what breaks my heart - her pain, not mine. I tried to speak to him yesterday when he was here looking after DD and he shook me off and looked at me with such hatred that I know there will be no going back.

It's his own choice.

I'm really sorry OP, hugs

I'm sorry, you don't deserve this

yeah, i'd be willing to lay big money on him having an OW squirrelled away somewhere.
he sounds very cruel.
sorry you're going through this.

i suspect that somewhere down the line, a few years from now, you'll realise that he's unwittingly done you a favour.

the OW gets the booby prize, if you ask me.
if he did it to you, he'll do it to her. prick.

I agree that he's very cruel . He doesn't even have the decency to tell the truth and act reasonably and fairly with the OP. He obviously gets off on all the drama and manipulation and has no regard for what this is doing to his daughter .

Bastard . I want to slap him. I don't know how you are able to be so gracious with him .

Really hope you get a fantastic lawyer on this to keep that house...horrible for you and your daughter. Your lives can only improve without this man contaminating your lives

So as part of being conciliatory I agreed he could spend time with DD here at our home. I went out with a friend last night and stayed at hers. He had asked me to stay away for the whole weekend but I don't see why I should so I've come back for a bit and can see that he's slept in my bed! What a cheek! He's not speaking to me so I can't ask him what he was thinking but I'm fuming. Friend was very helpful. Once the Relate session is over I'm going to petition for divorce.

Please don't allow him to have contact in your home x

he has some cheek.
fucking hell.
absolutely divorce him.

Kitty is right, you need to set rules for his access arrangements away from the house. Is he still there?

No he's put Dd to bed and gone she was happier than she's been in a while - I'm only doing this for her benefit not his. I said to him that as I was clearly bending over backwards to be civil he could at least do the same. I've been reading the MLC thread about men in their 40s and it's very encouraging to read so many comments from women who are confident and happy on their own.