Sorry I didn't answer that question there. We met through friends. He asked me out for a fair while first and I said no (not playing games but I wasn't looking for a relationship and did not really fancy him) and then I did go out with him and never expected to actually really like him.
Both of us went on a date or two thinking it was only a bit of fun. I was clear I didn't want anything serious. He was clear he felt the same. We lasted all of two dates and both thought "hang on a minute, I like this person", so both of us panicked, not realising the other one felt the same and pulled away a bit.
Both quite reserved with giving away out feeling, we have had mixed messages from both sides. Misunderstandings. I hurt him without realising. He hurt me without realising. Both trying to pretend to be a lot more detached than we were. Bit of false pride.
Me expecting him to be a typical male pursuer and him not comfortable with the role. Me realising this quite slowly and realising I'd have to be the one to drop my ego and so now we have a kind of role reversal where I've had to sort of lay it all out on the line and tell him I really like him and want to try someting serious and him saying he wanted to as well.
We have muddled through it, both wary, but both willing to listen and make an effort. I have had more fallouts with him (not blazing rows but misinterpreted situations that hurt us both) in a few months than I had in a decade with the one before with whom it was plain sailing from day one with never a single doubt or confusion.
So maybe I was expecting love to always be like that, more simple and obvious and in this situation I think maybe neither of us expected it to turn out to be quite so great as it is and it's been a bit difficult.
I've had to, as I said, take the lead a bit here as I am the more open of the two of us and he's appreciated that and me being more honest and less guarded has allowed us both to start bringing down walls.
No he doesn't do what my last man did...like calling all the time and telling me nice compliments all the time or generally making me feel "wow, I am being pursued", but he does make me feel warm and happy and calm and I really like him and like what we have.
I was just wondering if I was not being silly, or going for someone who a wasn't making enough of an effort OR if he is making an effort in his own way and it doesn't have to fit a mould of how someone shows they care abotu you to be true.