My partner of ten years and I often talk about separating. Our DD just turned two. The main reason I haven't left him is because he says that if we separate, he will move overseas to pursue his career and not see his daughter again.
My father was largely absent. I don't want my DD to go through the same grief and low self esteem. It would break my heart to deny her a relationship with her father. I realise it's his choice whether or not he has a relationship with his child, but he's managed to put the weight of that decision onto my shoulders. DD adores him.
We have very little in common, no shared interests, and he hasn't put any effort into our relationship for a very, very long time. When he's not overseas working, all we do together is look after our DD, go out to lunch, and sit on the sofa in the evenings. His career is everything to him, he has no interests outside of his work.
He is also quite controlling and lately we are constantly arguing because he thinks our DD is spoilt because she has the odd tantrum. She's a toddler! I wonder how he will cope with her naturally assertive personality as she gets older and refuses to tow his line.
When we argue he says we are only together for her and we're living separate lives. It's always him that raises the idea of separating but he thinks it's up to me to decide. Also, we've decided to move to a different city next year to be closer to family, but he refuses to put any of his savings into buying our new family home. He can't explain why but denies it has anything to do with a lack of commitment to our family.
I'm posting this hoping to find out if anyone has been in a similar situation, or if someone can offer a fresh perspective. I keep going over things in my head and getting nowhere. I feel trapped.