H has just said he will 'Unleash Hell' if I continue with legal proceedings

[LakelandLassie]

Married 17 yrs with 3 DC.
Got to the end of my tether with his manchild/self centred behaviour.
Told him last Aug that I had had enough and I considered our marriage to be over. By March, things no better so saw a solicitor to begin legal separation. He refuses to open letters from solicitor. We have been living separately but in the same house since then (he wont move out)
I had to put things on hold to deal with DD who has developed a serious illness but today, with the support of my family, I asked the solicitor to proceed.
He has gone mad and said if I continue with 'this nonsense' he will 'Unleash Hell'.
I was trying to keep things as amicable as possible for the sake of the DC.
It isn't going to happen is it?
I wouldn't mind but for most of the last 10 years he has given very little indication that he enjoys spending time with me and the DC, so why the sudden desire to keep us all together?? .

Somewhere picturesque....

Like the fast lane of the M6 ?

Or the top of Beachy Head.

The bottom of Lake Windermere

Cumbria is very beautiful at this time of year

Divorce. Wish I'd got to you first and warned you to avoid the unnecessary expense and timewasting of a legal separation - my solicitor conned me with that one back in 1986.

Be strong. Fight on. Claim anything you are entitled to and always, ruthlessly, play the sympathy card.

AF, that's called polluting a waterway. And would spoilt Cumbria

The Beachy Head bit might be better with the caravan door on the cliff side (when the tides out of course)?

Unleashing hell = buying a caravan? God knows what he'd do if he decided to wage war hey! A deluxe campervan perhaps?!

Good on you for pressing on with the solicitor. Agree that you need to try and claim anything you are entitled to (and try to squirrel away anything if you can), he will quite possibly stop paying that money in at some point.

I agree that buying a a caravan is the definition of hell.

But I think I've missed the point

valancy perhaps adding an awning. That'd show them who's boss

OK - you need to tell yourself 'They all say that' - that's what my solicitor told me when I repeated to her what XH had said when I filed for divorce 'I will make you regret this - it will become very very nasty'

He doesn't like you taking control. He doesn't want you to be armed with legal advice because he doesn't want you to know what you are entitled to. Don't give up - continue with your proceedings and take your solicitors advice - eventually he will have to give in, he can't force you to stay married to him. If he won't answer solicitors letters, then he will get taken to court and be made to listen.

My XH arsed about for 2 years trying to be awkward - so asked that he should pay all the legal costs and got them - because they could see what a twerp he was being.

Ask your solicitor about spousal maintenance while you are separated and waiting for divorce.

Get all your info, write it down so you are clear. Don;t engage with him - tell him all negotiations need to be conducted through your solicitor, that;s what you are paying her for - so you don;t have to discuss stuff with an unreasonable person.

Make sure you have all your important personal documents in one place all together where he can't get his hands on them.

It wears you down and it is tough and emotional, but it is worth it in the end when your divorce comes through - like a huge burden has been lifted from you.

Nothing wrong with caravans ! A twat in a caravan is a different matter.

A twat in a caravan parked on my drive, wanting to use the facilities in my house, is a different matter to a twat on a caravan park. He can FOTACP (to a caravan park). There's one outside Aberdeen I can recommend!

A caravan park outside Aberdeen in January? Ideal.

My car has a tow bar so I could come and whisk the 'van away in the middle of the night? If he goes through with it and you're in the Northwest of England giz a shout!

Just to be devil's advocate, why would the h necessarily have to move out? Presumably he pays the vast bulk of the mortgage (based on the fact that he pays money into op's account) and it was the op who initiated the separation/divorce proceedings. If he digs his heels in, what happens?

If he digs his heels in, they all continue living unhappily in the house until the divorce is finalised. Wouldn't that help his seriously ill daughter to make a speedy recovery?

if I continue with 'this nonsense' he will 'Unleash Hell'

My response would have been (to select) one of the following: -

Go ahead, punk, make my day (totally retro)

Yem well I’m coming (for you). And Hell’s coming with me, ya hear? Hell’s coming with me!” (scary)

Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have fucked with? That’s me (psycho)

You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? (really scary)

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker (cool)

Some motherfucker’s always trying to ice skate up hill. (even cooler)

You said yourself he is a man child, and this is his toddler tantrum. "'l'll skweam and skweam and skweam"

It is him lashing out and being petulant, like many wounded animal men do...
My exH told me he was going to make my life 'a misery'. If he was aiming for death via admin chores, he nearly succeeded. Oh, and I heard from a friend that he thought someone I was seeing was 'boring'. Misery indeed.

Yes but brokenhearted you get to play on t'internet all day and at least you are not an accountant. Doesn't have the same "gravitas" coming from an accountant (apologies MrsMorbius).

Just to be devil's advocate, why would the h necessarily have to move out?

He doesn't unless there is DV.

If he has a solicitor in many cases actually he would be advised not to until finances are sorted.

I am Gluteus Maximus, father of a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, owner of a pre-loved off-white tourer with special edition Spring Surprise upholstery.

[thigrin] annandale

I love the smell of burning caravan in the morning (stares poignantly off into the distance)...

I think you're gonna need a bigger caravan ... (durrrr-dum, durrr-dum)

What's he going to do, drop his trousers?