H has just walked out

[dontwanttobefatandforty]

I don't know what to do, explosion and then he grabbed a few bits and left. We don't have a perfect marriage but I still didn't expect it. I can't do this financially alone. DD jst left for uni and we have gutted her room to redo it, he says I will have to pay someone to do it. I don't know what to do at all

I won't know that until the morning, surly if it is bent it must already have been (tiny and very old car) because it really would have had to have been hard to dent it

Who gives a fuck if the steering wheel is actually bent ?

Who gives a fuck if this ridiculous bloke actually manages to cave his skull n ?

One less twat in the world, I would say

Some women will overlook all sorts of twattery, it would seem, just to let a dickhead like this off the hook

Or he's trying to say 'You made me do this'?

Personally I'd have thought it pretty unlikely but happy to be told it's feasible - he must have a mega headache and bruises too.

of course there is a difference

but my point is....does anyone need that shit in their life ?

Actually it all depends on the context (which we don't know) . If the row was about something he had done and wouldn't own up to, then he is a twat who you are better of without. ..but if it was you being unreasonable and frustrating, then he did the right thing by walking out and taking himself away from the situation (and taking it out on the steering wheel) rather than showing his anger in the house to you and DC. Which was it op?

He was in the kitchen making his food for work and I came in and reminded him (have been doing so for literally about 3 weeks) to clear all his papers and work gloves off the dresser as I was getting fed up of it now. I didn't shout I really did just say. He replies with right on I will take a day off from doing the bedroom to sort it, I was confused and asked why did he have to be so dramatic. I said I would just put it in a carrier bag for him to sort out and that's when he got angry and grabbed a bin bag saying he will put it in there and he exploded from there. I was just shocked and bewildered about the whole thing. He has said he is sorry, that I didn't deserve it, he keeps thinking of the bad things that have happened to us and that he loves me more than I probably realise.

Headbutting the steering wheel of his car? Sounds like a scene from Fawlty Towers. It also sounds as if your h was at the end of his tether and pent up frustration overwhelmed him.

There's obviously a long back story here and it could be that your dd's empty room was the catalyst for his aberrant behaviour as it served to illustrate the fact that your marriage has become an empty shell which brings little comfort to either of you.

As your first thoughts on him walking out appear to be more concerned with the fact that you "can't do this financially alone" rather than any expression of regret that he's gone, I would suggest you use his absence to give serious consideration as to whether it's time to end your marriage and look to a happier future as single parents.

so...he headbutted a steering wheel (or pretended to head butt a steering wheel) because you asked him to tidy up his mess ?

ho-kay

those are the actions of a loser

He's staying somewhere else next week, as the OW popped out of the wood work yet?

Does he have form for being a drama llama? Or is this unusual behaviour from him?

Does he have stresses at work? Is he a multi-tasker or does he need to devote all of his attention to the task in hand and resents anything which interrupts his concentration?

Is he the type that puts off doing what he knows he should do and erupts when reminded as he's already feeling guilty for not have done it earlier?

This may be a storm in teacup but, nevertheless, it could serve as an opportunity to reappraise your marriage with a view to deciding whether it's worth continuing in its present form, or whether minor or major changes could bring about a more positive future for both of you.

Maybe the actions of a loser but hardly the stuff of ending a marriage. How long have you been married op. ?

Whilst it would be great if every human being was 'perfect' and never showed any emotion, some people do need to physically let off steam every so often. It's much healthier to take it out on inanimate objects than on living things I'm sure everyone agrees. I've been known to punch things in anger and scream bloody murder but that doesn't mean I'm likely to hurt someone.

Anyway, it's usually the small things building up that can spark this sort of blow up. Is it a relationship you want to save OP, or are you ready to end it?

Anyfucker, normally I really rate what you say on here, but to flippantly say that if he had caved his skull in it would be one less twat in the world (or something to that effect) is fucking weird and very extreme. I totally agree with kinkytoes.

it's no more "weird or extreme" than headbutting a steering wheel (or pretending to headbutt a steering wheel"

ridiculous drama llamas like this should be ridiculed

if some bloke cracked on with this sort of immature attention seeking shit with me, he would be handed the inanimate objects to wrap around his own stupid neck

He hardly went off to privately vent his frustration if he then text her to tell her about it
He's pathetic really.

I expect the neighbours switched their tellies off in favour of the entertainment being provided by him too

"in private" my arse

We have been married 17 years, tbh things haven't been great between us, we hardly ever talk to each other. We sit in separate rooms of an evening when he is off work but he does help me with my work regularly. He does tend to put jobs off and is a one job at a time person. It's not a usual occurrence for him to behave this way. He said he was going to stay at his parents. He really dislikes his job which he actually stepped down from management/office to shop floor/manual and I think he is struggling with that. I told him at the time it was a daft move but he didn't like how the company where treating him, I said he wasn't as young and fit as he was when he was doing manual work. This has resulted in being miserable at work.

sounds to me as though he is just very stressed and blew a gasket. You might want to consider what you want, in the future, and if you should part. But I really don't think you can base it solely on the events of tonight.

at the risk of being terribly sexist i think sometimes men can perceive women as nagging (when they aren't) which can make them feeling even more under pressure than they would normally. This has certainly been true in my relationship.

I think the empty room may be a catalyst for change..

I would listen figure out what you both want as without this is doesn't sound good

So he's miserable at work, and miserable at home? Looks like he has reached breaking point.

I suspect asking him to sort out the paperwork while he was getting ready for work, work which he doesn't enjoy, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not good timing.

Do you want to stay together? Is there respect between the two of you?

I think it's ok for someone to get angry and upset if they feel that their efforts in renovating a bedroom are under-appreciated and they are frustrated at being told to tidy up within someone else's time frame.