Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

New GF is insane

95 replies

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 11:06

My XDP has got a new partner about 2 weeks ago. We haven't spoken since and last night I received an email with a really horrible picture. He has my name tattooed on his chest and the new girlfriend had wrote die slut above it. She also drew her hand around it and sent me the picture with her middle finger up against his chest. Wouldn't usually be bothered but he is now asking to see DD. She has her own child but when she is acting like that I don't want my DD around her. Ex won't see DD without her. Borderline harassment from her and EX. What should I do?

OP posts:

Original poster

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 21:24

Magoria I asked that and they said it would come up as from GMP. I'm
Beginning to think maybe I have done the wrong thing now. I have a log number and basically that's all I've been given.

OP posts:

magoria · 22/09/2015 21:28

Make sure your house is as secure as possible and the slightest hint of anything get on to the police.

spanisharmada · 22/09/2015 21:31

OP don't worry! Like I said it's probably just a preliminary warning as they can't talk to them properly until you've made your statement, which you said is being taken tomorrow?

Justaboy · 22/09/2015 21:40

Ah!, hollyhocks! missed that bit so someone's coming to take a statement that looks more promising, lets hope they follow it up when they have got the facts in more detail, course you can ask the copper who interviews you what the likely outcome will be:)

Still think legal advice is needed though.

numberseventeen · 22/09/2015 21:51

Well done for involving Police op. Whatever you do now do not engage with him at all.

If you receive anymore texts or emails send one curt reply saying "please do not contact me directly anymore" then ignore ignore ignore.

If he turns up, phone police, if he threatens further, phone police. Don't engage at all, I know how easy it is to want to speak up to defend yourself but don't get dragged into an argument

Original poster

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 22:18

Think there has been misunderstanding somewhere along the post. The police were meant to come tonight and take a statement, however they rang saying they were busy and asked me questions over the phone. That's when I got told a text message would be sent.

OP posts:

Malinapalina · 22/09/2015 22:38

I think you said they'd come and take statement tomorrow...

Original poster

YellowTangerine · 22/09/2015 22:58

Yes that's what I got told at the station but later recieved a phone call saying they would be here later. Then another call to take details and the text was mentioned.

OP posts:

goddessofsmallthings · 22/09/2015 23:28

Regardless of what action or not the police take with regard to this incident, you are best advised to stand firm in your resolve that your ex's contact with your dd takes place in supervised environment of a contact centre and put the onus on him to facilitate it.

May I ask again how old your dd is, and how often and for how long does your ex have contact with her?

springydaffs · 22/09/2015 23:42

And why is dd seeing him again? Abusers abuse anybody and everybody - that includes your dd. I would cut that relationship iiwy - not even supervised visits. Why on earth is it beneficial for dd to have a relationship with someone who has systematically abused her mother for years? And what's going to happen when she gets to her teens and he fully capitalises on any (natural) teenage rebellion? Not that he won't have been drip-feeding shit about you in her ear her entire life. Get totally rid.

'Die' in the tat is surely a death threat. Get on to Women's Aid (0808 2000 247 - call at night to get through). The police response is not acceptable imo. What evidence do you have of previous abuse? The more the better.

Original poster

YellowTangerine · 23/09/2015 07:15

DD is 8mo. The words 'die' and 'slut' were only written on in pen. It's my name that is actually tattooed. He use to have her overnight EOW but currently hasn't seen her for 4 weeks.

OP posts:

Penfold007 · 23/09/2015 07:32

Yellow go on [gmp.police.UK] put domestic violence in the search box. You will get a list of local Manchester domestic violence protection offices and the phone numbers. Ring the office for your area and speak to someone. You need to protect your daughter and yourself, this may mean taking legal advice. This man should not be having access to an eight month old baby.

shovetheholly · 23/09/2015 08:43

Honestly, my experience of the police is that they are far more likely to put you in danger than to help. I'm sorry this has happened to you, OP.

toastyarmadillo · 24/09/2015 06:28

Any word from the police op? Thinking of you x

Original poster

YellowTangerine · 25/09/2015 20:02

Nope nothing since the other day. Haven't heard anything from the EX either. Had a really down day today but tomorrow is a new day.

OP posts:

goddessofsmallthings · 26/09/2015 07:23

As I said earlier, unless there have been two or more incidents by the same person, or group of persons, the police cannot take action under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 and I doubt you'll hear any more from them.

However, receiving a text message from the police seems to have produced the desired result and it's to be hoped that your ex will desist from carrying out any other act which can be construed as harassment although, ime, such types seem unable to resist lauding it over their victims and he has a willing partner on hand to egg him on.

Now that you've logged the incident with the police you can use it as cause to insist that, should he request contact with your dd, he makes the necessary arrangements and payments to see her under supervision at a contact centre.

Gah. Men like him think their moronic behaviour is so clever. Stupid twat!

calmish1 · 26/09/2015 07:50

Good luck OP, they both sound crazy. Well done for getting away, and best of luck managing this process.

I would say no contact except via a contact centre; he isn't to be trusted. Can see why you would want him to bugger off forever.

HellKitty · 26/09/2015 09:00

Jesus!
If she has children then I worry for them.
I hope this is the last you'll hear of him.

spudlike1 · 26/09/2015 09:30

You've done the right thing stay firm stand up to the bully ..don't get drawn into messaging or txting with him ..keep.it all formal and get support as others have said. Nasty horrible threatening behaviour will not be tolerated, if he wants contact with his daughter he has to sort out his behaviour and not involve this vile other woman . Be strong they have no respect for you or your daughter .

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 26/09/2015 09:45

Sympathy for you OP. The police can come across as useless but trust me they do sort you out. Freed me from arsehole husband no.1 they start off small but with every escalation they will step up their response until they have enough rope to hang these nut jobs with. Stay strong and keep talking to us. Lots of us have been there. We got past it. We can support you as much as needed. be kind to you for a while.

Flip

1 2 3 4