Sleeping with other women's men ---

[Abundatia]

A close friend sleeps with several married men at the moment. The men are not in open marriages. My friend's view is that the mens' marriages are none of her business.

Is she right?

I don't think I'd be quite as callous as that about it but they have to take the lion's share of the blame for sure.

Well, what do you think?

I know the line rolled out is the men made the vows but she isn't someone I would want to be friends with.

No she isn't. Ultimately the men are breaking their marriage vows, but she is taking an active part.

Is she a prostitute? (That's a question, not a judgy remark BTW)

I'm really torn. Aside from her having ongoing flings with several (3 or 4 I think) married men she is honestly a really great person. So tbh I simply don't understand what's going on here and why.

No, absolutely not.

I've got a friend who is a serial OW. Almost every single boyfriend she has ever had has been a married man, and ongoing flirtations with many others.

I don't judge, but I also think she isn't very happy. We are the same age and I've got DH and my lovely DC and a nice home, and I know which I would prefer.

What is a "serial OW"?

She is right. The mens wives are their wives, nothing to do with her. The men took the vows not her. I don't expect she made them have sex with her against their will? If the answers no then only the men bear the burden fir cheating on their wives.

Your friend may well be unhappy to be sleeping around. But I'm not sure most women necessarily want a husband and kids in order to feel happy in life.

I am absolutely certain she didn't make them have sex with her LOL. She's very pretty. I'm sure they were delighted to sleep with her. It's interesting that she is so completely unfazed by it all.

She sounds callous and heartless.

Obviously, however, it is their choice to chest in their marriage.

But does she sent any of them to leave their wives, or not?

And do all her men know she's shagging/seeing other people at the same time??

She doesn't sound very nice....

But I'm not sure most women necessarily want a husband and kids in order to feel happy in life

Fair point!

is this friend you?

By serial OW I meant she is the OW in one relationship after another. I don't think it's an unusual use of the word? Serial adulterer, serial killer, serial television programme....

No. I'm pretty much the opposite --- I'm too frigid to shag hardly anyone.

I don't know what OW means

From what she's said these guys are not planning to leave their wives and she doesn't want them to. She doesn't want full relationships with any of these guys as she doesn't like them enough to formally date. I'm not sure whether they know about each other. That's an interesting question. Two of these men move in the same circles and certainly know each other though.

OW means Other Woman, surely?

OW = other woman

Your friend doesn't sound like a great person to me!

OW = other woman. The woman in an affair situation where the man is cheating.

There could be all sorts of reasons behind it. I think it's a pretty shitty thing to do. I reserve the stocks and branding irons for the cheating arseholes who are actually married. But I'd lose any respect and eventually liking for a friend who targeted married men. Grim, really.

My sister is very much like your friend, she has had various affairs and loves to try and justify why it's ok. My sister is messed up, an incredibly beautiful woman physically but truly ugly on the inside. She is very callous indeed. I remember one of her married men's wives had cancer and she helped him though that by shagging him apparently. That is the kind of thing she says to justify her actions. According to her she helps keeps marriages together.

She likes to feel the power and she craves excitement. She is also very vain and needs her ego fed.

I have almost nothing to do with her but bump in to her at our Mothers house on occasion. My other sisters refuse to even speak to her.

Aah. Thanks for explaining.

I don't know that she specifically targets married men. She gets pursued by loads of men. Some are married, others are single. The ones she dates properly are usually single I think.