Ever had a colleague (or anyone else in your life) who has Borderline Personality Disorder?

[Abundatia]

Is it even possible to reason with them?

It isn't "beign" its awful for people who are actively unwell because they suffer terribly and when they are unwell it is also difficult for those close to them but you make it sound as if all people with BPD are arseholes who are doing it on purpose. That is very offensive.

Borderline personality disorder is not an 'illness'.

Hi folkgirl-can you explain what you mean by saying its not an illness. I don't mean that to be challenging but I'd like to understand

I live with a young person with bpd and have worked with s few parents with it. It's very hard, but nothing like 'living with an arse' as its so clearly rooted in trauma. I only know a few people with it, but I very much doubt that someone with untreated bpd would be a 'boss' as they are generally so lacking in self worth.
My foster child is warm and loving alongside being extremely difficult. It makes me really sad to see how people are being spoken about on this thread, bpd is so debilitating and turns people away from those who need love and acceptance.
I do feel for those of you whose parents had bpd though, it can be very difficult for people to love and nurture when they haven't had that experience themselves.

true, this is private practitioners

finally somebody acknowledges that the people around them suffer terribly as well! It's hard to empathise with a severely ill person who refuses treatment and harms the lives of those who have to live with them. It's a different story if the person has no access to appropriate treatment or is so ill that they do not even realise they need treatment.

Yes, and to repeat, it's because they don't have the training, not because people with PD's are "unfixable" or dangerous or something to be frightened of, they aren't "refusing", they're saying they aren't qualified, very different.

Saying it's "telling that they refuse" is vicious and could stop someone getting help if they read it.

Actually people with this illness can be quite high-functioning in the workplace.

Mental health proffessionals aren't allowed to 'refuse' patients at all. I think you need to seperate the two issues- your boss and past trauma/abuse. Your boss could do with some support and you should report the behaviour to his superior- the BPD is a red herring in this case.

Actually, no. It's quite often because they don't want to deal with people with this particular disorder, despite being qualified to do so. Just as a lawyer in private practice doesn't have to take on every case that is offered to them

Mental health professionals are absolutely allowed to refuse patients whenever they want if they are in private practice.

brainblogger.com/2006/06/20/anti-stigmatization-psychiatry-discriminates-against-people-with-borderline-personality-disorder/

What is the point of your thread? To slag off everyone with BPD or to get help with your boss? If it is to berate those with BPD, I don't think you are winning here.

I will ask my colleague precisely how he knows our boss has BPD, but I'm assuming it's because the boss confided in him. It's also pretty telling that I immediately saw the similarities in the boss's behaviour and my mother's [my mother's been formally diagnosed with BPD] but did not mention any of that to my colleague. And yet my colleague immediately said the boss has BPD. Bit of a coincidence.

It's in my original post ---- "can you even reason with somebody with [untreated] BPD?"

And you have that on the word of how many private practitioners? Because the private psychiatrists and psychotherapists I know (a good few) have all said it's because they don't have the expertise and it's quite a specialism to treat PD's so I don't know where you're getting that from. It sounds to me like you're reading too much pop psychology about "big scary psychos" instead of doing proper research.

I'm sorry your mother was such a vile and despicable person, but that does not mean you can tar everyone with that PD with the same brush.

Abundantia- my experience is limited to people who are involved with Social services, so only a small proportion I guess. But no one I work with would be able to be a 'boss' they simply wouldn't be stable enough or be able to communicate effectively as they have such difficult attachment issues. I don't think it's fair to armchair diagnose though - bpd is so complex and just because someone shares negative traits you associate with bpd doesn't mean they have bpd. BPD is often related to childhood trauma and sexual abuse, and abandonment. As an employee you wouldn't know this intimate stuff, just that he is unpredictable and argumentative. Which can be because he is a twat, not because he has a PD

Abundatia you have had a very difficult time because of a parent who happens to have a diagnosis of BPD and refuses treatment.
You have suffered as a result of her actions.
It sounds as if she is also an unpleasant person but please do not generalise your experiences to people who have suffered abuse, have low self esteem and are struggling daily to recover. It is unkind and offensive.
Consider the possibility that you might be causing real harm to some people reading this.

I am sorry to hear that you, too had a parent with BPD.

Bi polar and BPD are different but often have over lapping symptoms. For example I have bipolar disorder II (no full manias, we don't fully loose touch with reality) which was rapid cycling so I would have a full high and low within days. In addition to these symptoms I also presenting symptoms of BPD but I was 'down one symptom' for a full diagnosis as they were attributed to the bipolar. Weird and complicated.

Anyway, often the behaviours can look the same or similar. My understanding from my own diagnosis is that bipolar is often more of a chemical issue that can be triggered by environmental factors where as BPD is more likely to be a direct result of environmental trauma.

I'm sure there are mh professionals around that can tell me I may have got that entirely wrong, that's just my understanding from talking to my mh professionals, however, that ,ugh the be just how it is in my case iyswim.

But yes, there are arses in all walks or life, sometimes they have a mh issue, that doesn't always cause them to be an arse though, sometimes they're just that!

Well my colleague's exact words were: "He's got BPD. He finds it very difficult to deal with and so do we!"

That's not necessarily armchair psychology. The boss may well have told him directly. I'll ask.

Our industry is a creative one. It's not at all unusual to have people with fairly severe mental instability in the top positions.

My husband has BPD, and his disorder has taken us both to hell and back in the past year. But his BPD does not make him some sort of monster, not all BPD sufferers are the same, just like not all cancer sufferers have the same symptoms.

It is very hard to find information on the internet about BPD that is not written by a person who has suffered at the hands of someone with BPD. Therefore it is biased against the BPD sufferer.

And my husband is diagnosed as high-functioning, he is very successful in his job, and is extremely well liked by all his workmates.

BPD is often massively misunderstood, until my husband was diagnosed with it I had never even heard of it before, but the diagnosis is becoming more common and so hopefully more balanced information will become available.

In our area, treatment for bpd is being part of a therapeutic community, daily for up to 4 years - a huge commitment and cost for both patient and service. In reality only those with court direction can access it. It has a massive waiting list. It has really helped a couple of the mums I have worked with ( and others have struggled). It's not once a week for half an hour stuff.

Thanks for that post dreamingofblueskies. It was insightful and food for thought.

That's interesting. How would the courts become involved?