Ever had a colleague (or anyone else in your life) who has Borderline Personality Disorder?

[Abundatia]

Is it even possible to reason with them?

OP, PPs are trying to point out that people with BPD are just that, people who happen to have BPD. They are not BDP - the BDP should not be all that defines them. So the more acceptable terminology to use for most people with any condition/disability is to say they have that condition rather than that they are that condition.

Anyone with ANY or NO condition can often be extremely abusive and make life difficult for family members.

I sincerely hope your bother doesn't have the same attitude as you do. It's ridiculous, implying everyone with a PD is a prick.

Did you also know that people with BPD are quite often, when treated, the most loyal, caring, considerate, kindest people you could know? Because generally BPD can be linked with childhood trauma, emotional neglect and resulting self esteem issues. Therefore when treated, they treat others like they wish they had been treated.

thanks, I guess I could have googled that.

Hi. Bipolar and Borderline are two different illnesses. Apparently it is possible for a person to have both of these at once though.

As for my boss, he has violent mood swings, has physically attacked some colleagues. He gets into a rage when he feels he's being abandoned. You're constantly on edge around him because he is so unstable and unpredictable. After I started seeing the signs I reached out to the person who did my job before me and also to another colleague who has been at the company for many years. The colleague says our boss has BPD. The ex employee didn't know whether the boss has a diagnosed mental illness or not but simply said he's alienated dozens of staff over the years with his mood swings, violent behaviour and constant need for reassurance.

Cross posted with others who have already explained it.

Actually she's an abusive bitch who has made many people's lives absolutely hell. Treatment has been offered to her but she's refused to accept it. One of the many awful things she has done was to arrange for paedophiles to come to the house to rape my sister when she was a little girl. So, no, I don't feel a great deal of sympathy for my mentally ill abusive mother.

I also have a friend who has BPD. She is very troubled but she is having therapy (DBT I think) twice a week and she takes responsibility for herself and is serious about her mental health and her health in general. She's a sweet, loving person. That is a very different situation to somebody who declines treatment and actively terrorises other people.

Then your boss should seek medical help, and be disciplined accordingly to HR policy.

Your boss should not be diagnosed by a bunch of arm chair psychiatrists. BPD is a serious label to have.

Mentally ill and abusive DO NOT go hand in hand!

Yes very different.

But your OP and other pp's labelled all people with BPD as the same. And thats offensive.

And you know what, dangerous.

Because not all mothers with BPD arrange for what your mother did. And personally, there's probably a lot more at play with her then BPD. Because having BPD doesn't make you a sick psychopathic bitch.

Thankyou Neverletmego you're obviously 100% correct.

I guess nobody else here has read the book 'Stop Walking On Eggshells' then? It paints a very different picture (and in my experience, accurate) of BPD than the rather benign picture being painted in this thread.

Anyone with any untreated mental health problem can make life difficult for others-because they are afraid and are loosing touch with reality. That doesn't mean they are defined by their disorder for life-and people who care about the person can learn to behave in ways that support communication.

I too find the term "a borderline" offensive.

Also one feature of BPD is experiencing very strong and upsetting emotions-so it can look like bi-polar sometimes but the swings of mood happen more quickly.

www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901

From an article on BPD:

"Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is highly associated with the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, physical abuse, and/or domestic violence often suffered by those who are non borderline. The propensity for abusiveness in those with BPD is instigated by the narcissistic injury that is at the heart of the core wound of abandonment

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.

The reality of this is such because borderlines lack a known consistent self and they struggle with abandonment fears and abandonment depression that stem directly from a primal core wound of abandonment that arrests their emotional and psychological development in the very first few months of life.

This arrested development impacts most, if not all, areas of relating and leaves borderlines unable to interact in age-appropriate healthy ways. Ways of relating that unfold in the present and that aren??t layered with deep intra-psychic pain ?? pain that is unresolved."

mental-health-matters.com/borderline-personality-disorder-and-the-abuse-of-non-borderlines/

OH MY GOD! I NEVER REALISED ONE BOOK MEANT THAT EVERYTHING I EVER KNEW TO BE TRUE WAS WRONG. I MUST IMMIEDIATELY GO AND CHANGE MYSELF TO BEING THE ABUSIVE UNREASONABLE BITCH YOU'RE SO SURE ALL BPD SUFFERES ARE.

Or, alternatively, you could seek therapy to rectify your issues and try reading other sources such as :

www.nhs.uk/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx

or

www.bpddemystified.com/what-is-bpd/course-of-the-disorder/

or even

wordpress.com/somethinksthingsandothers

EVERYTHING in that snippet is offensive.

People with BPD are not "borderlines" they are suffers.

You my dear, are the embodiment of why people who fight it, keep quiet about it.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Yes I've read "Walking on eggshells", I just have two brain cells to rub together so I understand that not every single person with BPD is going to be seriously abusive, and that there are many, many shades of grey with behavioural disorders and PD's especially.

People with BPD can be horrible, a shitty personality combined with something like that might cause it, they might just be a dickhead, treat them as people and not as disorders.

That thing you just copy pasted, it says "associated", "more likely" etc, those are not absolutes. People with schizophrenia for example are more likely to kill themselves than the general population, that doesn't mean every single one will do it.

I am horrified that you would think all people with BPD traits would sell their child to a paedophile-absolutely horrified.
Some people with BPD are kind, sensitive souls with horrid self-esteem issues. When they are very ill their moods can swing rapidly and that makes life difficult for them and is difficult for people close-but treatment is available and people do make good recoveries.

Some of this thread is horrible-it could make people ashamed of their illness and prevent them seeking help.

I'm not ashamed and I do not accept that BPD is some kind of benign disorder. It's not only the people with the disorder who are traumatised, it's the people who have to live with them as well!

I didn't say all people with BPD would do this. Calm down.

Quite a few mental health professionals refuse to accept BPD patients because they are so difficult to treat. That in itself is quite telling.

Why are you being so black and white?

It can be benign and there are some very gentle and loving people with BPD out there, there are also some massive dickheads who have BPD. It doesn't have to be so firmly categorized in black and white like that, it can actually be both.

That is the most offensive and inaccurate piece of "journalism" I have ever seen.

Oh and on your other post, some practitioners decline treating people with personality disorders because they are very complex and the most effective treatment, DBT, requires extra training. Like PTSD, the best therapy is EMDR, people who don't do that sometimes will send their patient elsewhere, it's really quite simple to understand. Those are private practitioners, NHS psychiatrists etc are not allowed to refuse to treat someone with a PD, at all, ever.