Please tell me I'm not going mad

[wherehaveigonewrong]

DP and I have had a rocky week. Tonight we went out, and when we got home to his, he asked me if I was staying. (I'd told him earlier I wasn't feeling very sexy and would go home tonight). I said I'd like to stay but wasn;t up for sex as I was still feeling a bit unhappy about our row. he got cross and said ok then go home, if you won't have sex then just go home.

I started home but on the way I thought I must have misunderstood him so I called him and said I'd really like to stay and just be loving and cuddly. He said "are we going to have sex" I said I dont know but can't we just see how we go and just love each other? he said if you won't have sex just go home.

I'm not wrong am I? This is really bad isnt it?

Please don't be hard on me.

Jesus--Dump the twat

He sounds an utter twat.
You are better off at home on your own. You're worth more than that.

He sounds like a catch.

Not.

Bin him, please.

Really horrible.

You are not going mad!

He doesn't sound very loving or respectful. There's more to a relationship then sex.

Oh definitely dump him. That's horrible.

He doesn't sound very nice. Does he have any good points?

you're not wrong
this is really bad

dump him.

If you one day will feel unwell and wouldn't be able to have sex for a while, he will be the first one to dump you. He is with you only for sex!

I was dumped last year just because I wasn't up for sex.
There are times when you want to be loved and cared for without sex, some people don't think that way.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

He must be totally insensitive and stupid not to realise that if he wants any chance of sex he needs to show you some love and affection to win you round. If he can't even understand that he isn't worth wasting your time on.
LTB!

How long have you known this crass tosspot suave man of the world who knows what he wants and doesn't mince words in his attempt to get it?

Oh GOD. Imagine this guy when you are out of commission post birth (or whenever). Get rid immediately.

5 years. He can be so nice but recently I cant get anything right.

If he'd been nice this evening I'd have stayed. I dont want to be sitting here on my own in the middle of the night feeling broken.

5 years! And he thinks it's acceptable to treat you like that?

What do you mean by he can be nice, OP?

It won't get better. He won't get better and you are worth more than that. Find someone worthy of you ~ someone that will just cuddle up if you aren't feeling sexy, someone that cares properly for you and about you.

LTB!!

You need to change your name, something like... whyhaveIputupwiththistwatsolong or
hedoesntdeservemeImbetterthanthat

Would be more appropriate

YOU have done nothing wrong - he has!

Tell him to F" right off & buy himself a blow up doll & learn to live yourself a lot more, so next time round you end up with someone who is really good enough for you

I dont want to be sitting here on my own in the middle of the night feeling broken.

You don't have to. You sound nice. You can meet someone caring and normal.

Wow, I'd expected you to say 5 weeks!

Is this the first time this has happened? I can't believe that in 5 years you've never before said 'no' to him. Stop and think. Have there been other times he's left in a strop (or not in a strop, but left anyway) when you've been 'not in the mood'? Does he take 'no' for an answer or does he pressure you? In the quiet of your mind, have you ever felt 'no' but said 'yes' or said nothing because he's either put pressure on you or has 'proceeded'?

You don't actually need to answer, those are just 'points to ponder'. I mean, 5 years is a long time to maintain a relationship 'just for sex', but it is long enough for behaviours to be established (you acquiescing when you don't want to) or ignored (him not taking 'no' for an answer).

If you 'can't do anything right', it could be that, for him, your relationship has 'run its course' and he's either looking for a way out or just staying now for the sex. Or it could be that you need to end it because he's a sexual bully.

5 years of Mr Insensitivity? Jeez, honey, you deserve a medal lot better than him.

What's stopping you finding a loving and caring guy who'll enhance your life and never leave you feeling 'broken'?

By the sounds of it, he's a completely selfish, entitled misogynistic twat who thinks you're only in his house to errm "service" his cock needs.

In which case, tell him that pigs will fucking fly before you'll accept that being welcome in his house is conditional upon letting him get his leg over.

Uuuurgh. What an arsehole.

Wow, so he just wants to use you as a wanksock, and if you're not interested then he doesn't want you around?

Yes, it's very bad.

He can fuck off.

5 years and not living together and this shit? Fuck that! Dump!

5 years??? how old are you both if you don't mind me asking?

FIVE years of this asshole?

Good God you poor thing.