Please tell me I'm not going mad

[wherehaveigonewrong]

DP and I have had a rocky week. Tonight we went out, and when we got home to his, he asked me if I was staying. (I'd told him earlier I wasn't feeling very sexy and would go home tonight). I said I'd like to stay but wasn;t up for sex as I was still feeling a bit unhappy about our row. he got cross and said ok then go home, if you won't have sex then just go home.

I started home but on the way I thought I must have misunderstood him so I called him and said I'd really like to stay and just be loving and cuddly. He said "are we going to have sex" I said I dont know but can't we just see how we go and just love each other? he said if you won't have sex just go home.

I'm not wrong am I? This is really bad isnt it?

Please don't be hard on me.

Sack him.
Love yourself enough to do that.
He's not entitled to use you for sex and to send you home if you won't do it.

bessie do you mean refusing to go to his or refusing sex?

I am merely saying that you may have given the impression that you thought it was no point staying because you didn't want sex.

Having anxiety and depression is no reason to accept poor behaviour or a relationship that makes you unhappy.

People who love too much,are always the same people who ask "maybe I am not loving enough"

Ok. No he knew I wanted to stay for company and cuddles but he wouldnt let me.

What do you mean "love too much"? please?

It seems you know he's using you for sex but don't want to admit it because you're scared of being lonely. You're looking for someone to excuse his behaviour and blame it on you so you have a reason to stay in the relationship. There's no excuse for refusing your company and affection because you won't begrudgingly have sex with him. This is not your fault. You need to end the relationship. You say that you can't seem to do anything right at the moment. At the end of a relationship we get annoyed at every little, silly, petty thing our partner does. This is not the partner's fault and the issues we get angry over are probably not truly annoying/justified. We are distancing and disconnecting from the other person. He is putting distance between you because he doesn't really want to be with you. This relationship won't make your anxiety and depression better. It will make it worse. You deserve better, believe that. ?? x

Your boyfriend is treating you like shit, don't put up with it. Break it off and have nothing further to do with him.

The way you have written the OP suggests that in the first instance you wanted to go home

DP and I have had a rocky week. Tonight we went out, and when we got home to his, he asked me if I was staying. (I'd told him earlier I wasn't feeling very sexy and would go home tonight

You then asked to stay, he didn't want you to stay if there is no sex, then you left and then rang and asked to go back? is this correct?

Of course it is not acceptable to turf your partner out just because they don't want sex. But then as I said earlier, if you had already said you were going home and no sex, then he took you at your word.

Loving too much, well if you do, you end up in a relationship that is on someone elses terms. You want to move in, he doesn't, so you don't. Now you can't make that happen with the unwilling, but you are forced into a compromise, one that is all yours.

Oh, and don't think that because I haven't joined the chorus singing LTB that I am advocating you stay with him. You must do what is best for you.

"I need someone to love me sometimes"

But this isn't love. I agree re making mh worse too and I have same. Loneliness isn't the same as being alone either.

Fully agree with Minx.

But sometimes we express ourselves in a way that people get us by the first word. And true, if you love someone more than they do, you end up compromising on everything...

OP, learn to love yourself first.