Hi everyone!
Firstly, I would like to say that yes, I am a guy! However I would really like a womans opinion on my situation because I'm really torn.
Me and my Ex girlfriend knew each other for 2 years. It started off as a friendship, talking every once a week maybe, then after a few months I skyped her and it was instant attraction. I always had an urge to be by her side even though I hardly knew her, I just can't explain why. A month after we started dating she told me that she believes we were meant to find each other because when we had a fight 8 months prior to dating when we were friends, she said it really affected her how we didn't talk for a couple months.
Me and my ex broke up on July 25th. I had heavy exam resit pressure and for 5 days I was the lowest I've ever felt and I ended up shouting at her... in text on Facebook about being jealous of such a stupid reason. We were okay with each other for 2 weeks, she said she understood what happened but couldn't handle me in that state and it scared her. She still wanted to be close to me, said she couldn't lose me as a friend and that she still thought we were meant to find each other. She even spoke to my sister about it after and said that she thought we had something special. I have never shouted at her before and it actually hurt me after I realised what I did.
After 2 weeks we argued about something, I can't even remember what, and she blocked me on Facebook. She said "We will never be friends, we won't ever get back together, any last words?".
2 weeks into this her friend tells me there was a day when she was really sad, recorded a sad song on her guitar and told her friend to tell me that if I do anything bad to myself then she would too. She had a history of self harm and feeling worthless, something I managed to tame through friendship and our relationship. I never told her I would do these things, I think it was genuine care.
1 week later (so 3 weeks after the block) she unblocks me. However now she is just being confusing.
In one conversation I initiated 5 days after the unblock, or there abouts (And the ONLY one since then) she managed to say:
I unblocked you cause I thought you'd grow up (get over her? Idk)
We won't ever get back together
Just forget me
AND
I am going to add you again after your exams in 2 weeks
I still care about you
If anything happened to you I would be hurt too
So I ended up telling the same friend who has been helping me build myself up about this/the one who was with my ex that day she was really down, that I talked to my ex for the first time in seemingly forever. I told this friend what my ex said she was going to add me after my exams. My friend said she knew and that my ex told her - "I'm going to add him after his exams because i dont want him to think about anything else than his exams.he needs to do them."
As you can see, massive contradictory statements, even after the unblock. Also if she already thought I'd be over her why would she say she was waiting until after my exams? Makes no sense to me.
I've asked a few friends opinions on this and even her close friends think that she seems unsure of what to do. What do you guys think?
I think it's worth mentioning that I have improved on myself a lot and I'm going to the gym, studying hard and doing my hobbies. I have no intention on forcing myself on her, I just want to know what might be going on with her.
The only thing I can think of is that she is conflicted. She made a decision to dump me but part of her is telling her to come back. That's the only conclusion I can think of.
Thanks in advance! Oh, and here is a picture of us :)
[image removed by MNHQ]