The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Can i join too? In a similar situation to wellies, probably worse. Also not sure if I'm ready to stop altogether yet. Would like to start being alcohol free Monday to Thursday. Have managed some days off in the last month but before that it was a long time without a single day off
I have been lurking here for a while and you all seem to be doing so well, it's inspirational.

And welcome to you too work. I too would like to be AF during the week but never make it. Will be trying again this week.
Well done on your AF days last month.
Sundays can be quiet on here but the Babes will be along soon, either sober,boingy and virtuous or hungover and ashamed. All welcome.

How are you feeling this morning Wellies? Got a bad hangover, or just feeling a little under par? It was horrible hangovers that made me want to cut back. I hated them. Come and have a and some opal fruits (if ma hasn't fed them all to Fluffy). It doesn't matter if you're drinking, we have a sidecar for those not quite ready for an AF day. Make yourself comfortable here, that's the first priority.

Welcome Work, it's been a bit quiet around here for a little while but others will be along again soon. I think some posters didn't want to post during dry September as it can feel like a let down when others are managing ok and you're not but we are all here to help each other, whatever their personal goals are - a month, a week, a day or even just getting through an hour without a drink.

Hi ladies. So sorry I haven't been around for a while (hangs head in shame). The drinking has been totally out of control. Last night I got through a bottle of white and about three quarters of a bottle of red (don't even like red) and I've now got the worst hangover I've had in a long time. I feel like absolute shit. My youngest DD wants to make cookies and all I want to do is crawl back in to bed. I feel like such a terrible person and a crap mother. I know I need to stop completely I can't carry on like this. Anyone else on day one today? xx

Hi babe

wellies and work, my goodness every babe on here has typed words so like your own, it's like our entry passwords and your so very welcome on our bus.

I remember googling "I drink too much wine" and it led me here, I'm forever glad it did. We are all here to help and support each other, we were all worried enough about our drinking to post that "first post". The good news is probably 90% of what your doing it simply habit, there are so many ways you can shake up your routine to help you beat that habit but sometimes the emotional reasons for why may take a while longer. I'm so glad you found the courage to post!!!! Welcome to the mad but wonderful bus xxx

I don't think i really noticed how bad the hangovers were until i had days off. Last week i didn't drink Monday to Wednesday but then on Thursday OH noticed a special offer on sancerre and i caved but really regretted it Friday morning. Hoping to get back on track tomorrow, silly but i need to start on a monday.

Has anyone read "the drink less mind"? Bought a copy and have read a bit but not listened to the cd yet, hoping it will help me achieve some drinking (less) goals.

And thanks for the welcomes. I am new to mumsnet as well as this thread so hope i get the mumsnet etiquette right!

Hi ..thanks for the welcome feeling fuzzy headed (and could murder a greasy burger!) ...my goal tonight is one small glass of wine instead of a bottle ..you know the old fashioned pub style ones? Have bought fizzy water in an attempt to give me something non alcoholic to put in a glass ....need to find willpower from somewhere putting on weight, feel sluggish most mornings and can't afford financially to keep drinking at this rate!! .going for alcohol free Mon and one glass Tues

Work this thread is one of the safe, supportive places where you will always be welcome and no-one will judge you

wellies is one small glass even worth it? What will it do for you, other than maybe trigger the urge to drink more? There's a saying 'One glass is too much and a bottle is not enough'.

Have you tried Becks Blue? Tastes like alcohol but isn't so might be a good substitute for you this evening.

Either way, drinking or not, feel free to post

Sorry you feel rough, tomorrow will be better.

Hands you're back! Yay

So good to see you, I can feel your pain wafting through the airways. Stonking hangover and young child not a good mix.

Anyone looking for a bit of motivation, fresh start, tips for stopping, I would recommend reading back over JWN's very first thread

Also, it's a very good read if you have time on your hands and want to avoid drinking out of boredom.

Hey hands good to see you again. God, we've all been there, its so bloody difficult to stop isn't it?
I am going for day 1 tomorrow as I know I will finish the half bottle of red in the kitchen tonight.

Thanks Faire and Ma I chucked the rest of the bottle of red away so I definitely won't be drinking tonight. I've found some Beck's blue from when I went AF in June so that's in the fridge chilling. I'll be making Sunday dinner soon - sober for a change! Has anyone out there been AF for a long time now and if so does it get easier? Do you miss drinking? Do you feel happier? The thought of going through life being pissed off because I can't drink really depresses me. I read JWN's thread again - it's very motivational. Does anyone know how she's doing now?

I have found this blog interesting and helpful

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.co.uk

I did all of September Hands and now working my way through October. Yes it does get easier. So easy that you wonder why you thought it was hard

You have to push through that really hard bit at the begining. But I went for cutting down first and just made the gaps between drinks longer. It just became less important to me. I knew that I could stop if I had a drink one day. I knew that I could leave an open bottle without feeling the need to finish it.

I think everyone is different and we just have to keep trying until we hit on what works. The best thing is not having those regrets any more

I must remember to check in occasionally... welcome newbabes

Friday night DH pointed out that I'd had a drink most nights, not a lot but still nearly every night so I'm back to cutting right down... Day 2

Hey joey I have had a really bad run and hope to go AF this week. Am piling back on all the weight I had lost before....

Morning all. Low carbingnas have gained 5lbs over the last two months - I blame the menopause not the drink obviously.
Day 1

ma I low carb to keep my weight down but I know if I didn't drink so much I wouldnt have to be so strict. Day 1 here too.

Hello new babes, and old babes. Good to see some more action on here again. Funny how we get quiet on here sometimes. There are days when I don't post because I hate to come across as all Pollyanna and risk pissing you off and driving you to drink!

Does it get easier? Do I miss drinking? Do I feel happier? Yes and no to all of those - but the YES is a lot of the time, and the no is infrequent - but it doesn't stop it feeling shit when it does hit.

So I'd say that the majority of the time I don't think about drinking alcohol - I was on holiday recently and was more irritated about not being able to get a glass of cold soda with freshly squeezed lime than I was about not having anything to drink on holiday. I delight in the taste of a V8 vegetable juice without needing vodka in it. I have a range of things that I like to drink if I go out with other people and it feels very OK now to ask for something non-alcoholic in a bar or restaurant - and to ask for it exactly as I like it. But sometimes those triggers still leap on me. I go to an airport and walk through duty free desperate to try the free samples of Baileys; I drool at the thought of an ice-cold glass of fizz at the seafood bar; I get on the plane and the sound of the drinks trolley rattling through makes me think of a G&T and a glass of red.

I do sometimes have a drink but I try to do it in situation where I can be controlled by the external circumstances - so not drinking at home on my own. A few weeks ago I shared a late night glass of port with my friend, but only because it was already past bedtime and it was the end of the bottle (with nothing else around to drink) and I still have the mentality that there is little point in having ONE drink, so if it's a drinks reception where only one glass each is on offer I find it easier to have nothing than to drink.

I do find that if I have a drink it triggers my desire for more, so having a glass of wine at a 5pm drinks reception leaves me eyeing up the bottles in M&S on my way home.... All round, it is easier not to bother.

And do I feel happier? Yes, yes, yes. Oh how I enjoy the absence of guilt, shame, fear about being found out. Of course everyone knew I liked a drink and could put it away, but the number of times I was in dread of my dp finding my secret stash of empties, or my hidden store of 'top-up' drinks. And I love the feeling of not waking in the night with a raging thirst, sweating and shivering, and then getting up in the morning without the dull, thumping headache. I like being able to laugh with friends and remember what I was laughing about. I enjoy the quitter me, as well as the noisy me. And I really feel good about getting home from a night out safely, without risk.

And I have fewer bumps and bruises now that I'm not so accident prone!

Of course sad things happen, disappointments occur, people and events make me mad and angry, and moods go up and down, but I deal with them all better without the haze or the heat of alcohol. I'm not a saint. I'm a snarky cow sometimes, or self-centred and opinionated, and as lazy and bored as I ever was, but I like myself better. And I feel real. And I've stopped worrying about whether drinking will kill me.

Of course that should have read "the QUIETER me"

Although the 'quitter me' was funny and appropriate

On day 18 (yesterday) I shared a bottle of sparkling wine at lunchtime. While I enjoyed it, I found myself increasingly concerned about the lack of anything else to follow. It took over my thoughts and after lunch I instigated a walk to the liquor store to buy a big bottle of red. I felt so much better knowing I had it on standby . I didn't drink any of it in the end - the urgency passed and I drank tea instead. So glad this morning. It is interesting/frustrating/worrying though to see that my instant response to a drink is 'where is more drink'.

Today I am not drinking. Love to you all x

Lovely post venus

Hi everyone, may I join?

I've been lurking on here for a good while. I am a classic female drinker. I drink wine, in my kitchen/home and hide how much I drink from nearly everyone. But as the years have gone by I have found it harder and harder to maintain the fiction - culminating in this weekend when I got drunk at dh's work do. So ashamed I can hardly think about it. Anyway, he confronted me yesterday. To be honest, I have always wondered why he hasn't seriously confronted me before - he did try a few times but never very seriously. I suppose he is just such a gentle person.

Funny thing is I was getting to the point of wanting to give up anyway. Every night I would wake up thinking "this cannot continue". Hate the way I look (skin, gained weight, worried desperately about my health). My best friend, who has a similar relationship with wine to me, gave up about 5 weeks ago and she is raving about how much better she feels, how much better she looks.

I know everyone who thinks they are high-functioning, doesn't really carry it off as well as they think they do but the funny thing is sometimes I used to be amazed at what I achieved while drinking heavily - apart from working (actually that is probably a bad thing, I stayed stuck in a job I should have left a good while ago but probably lacked the energy to make a decision) but the house, the kids, the friends, etc. I keep it all going in our house.

Anyway, am feeling ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, sad, but also a bit hopeful that this might be a better way. I am going to talk to my therapist on Wednesday (in itself a really hard thing for me to do. I literally cannot open my mouth and talk about my drinking) and then see how it goes from there.

Hello lovely babes. Day 1 for me. Had hideous weekend binge and sharing thoughts of despair and guilt as I travel home from work feeling shite. I think I need a period of longer abstinence than the three to four days I generally manage. Off train at next stop but wanted to hand out some opal fruits to the lovely new babes and say welcome and you have my support. More later. First step is admitting there is a problem.

Welcome Melbourne most of us have THAT moment where we think enough is enough and try to do something about it. Well done for joining us.
beaches bloody well done on not cracking open the red.
Venus good to hear from you O serene one.
wellies and work how are you today?

So good to read everyone's posts....I look at colleagues and friends and think I don't drink as much as them so I can't be that bad ..but that's not really the point is it? I had my single glass of wine last night at 8pm (I normally start at 6pm and stupidly pride myself on not drinking before then ..not sure why ) and then struggled ... Ending up digging out some peppermintfriggingtea and going to bed by 9.30
Tonight I was supposed to be AF ...but feeling all smug about only drinking a quarter what I would normally last night...have rewarded' myself with another single glass tonight siiiiigh
Better than normal though ...just think if I deny myself completely then I'll cave quicker! Or binge when I do (excuses. Excuses)