Leaving 12yr old son in hospital alone

[mulberrybag]

This will out me but I think i need a bit of perspective.
My son has injured his leg, possible hairline fracture we've been at hospital since yesterday p.m and have to stay until Monday. DP came to visit this afternoon (Ds stepdad from 2yrs of age) asked what my plan was and how much longer I'd be staying. I hadn't thought about leaving until Monday (our Dd is 8 and although missing me totally fine with DP) but he told me it was odd that I was contemplating staying another two nights as Ds isn't Ill just waiting for scan on mon & obs until then. Mentioned he found it "weird" a few times and left a little while ago.
I feel really upset that he thinks I'm being weird and feel like I am just being a mum and wouldn't dream of leaving Ds. Please could I have some opinions ?

I wouldn't leave either. Tis your DH that is being weird

It's not weird at all!

However, I'd probably go home at night- I er like my bed.

Dear OP,
I wouldn't be leaving either if I had a choice in the matter. If you didn't have a partner and needed to look after DD or if you and your partner were swapping staying with DS so you could get home, have a shower and some decent sleep fine. Leaving my child on their own in hospital if I had any choice in the matter? Absolutely not. It's not weird, it's being a mum. Stick to your guns an don't feel the need to justify yourself.

At 12 with a broken leg I would think he'd be ok by himself overnight in hospital, and the nurses would probably encourage you to leave for him to get some sleep? I am casting my mind back to when I was in hospital at the same age though so we are going back 20 years!

What kind of ward is he on?

Not weird, I'd want to stay with him. I might leave him as late as I could so I could get some sleep in my bed and be back first thing in the morning, but only if DS was ok with that.

My mum only visited me at visiting times when I was in hospital as I child. It was perfectly normal then.

I am sure he would be fine.

Things have must have changed, I remember having tonsils out at 7, and parents didn't stay overnight

I wouldn't leave either. Your ds may not be 'ill' but he's hardly old enough to be comfortable being left in an unfamiliar place on his own for two days.

Depends at 12 and a broken leg I may leave at night and come back in the morning. Dd is almost 12 so I am thinking about what I'd do with her. She is old enough to understand and will most certainly be asleep anyway nothing keeps her from her sleep. But if she wanted me to stay I absolutely would and wouldn't think anyone weird for doing so.

I doubt anyone is proposing leaving him for two days!

What princess deb said

It's not weird to stay...I might pop out quickly in the day, but would want to be with him over night.

My DS had to stay in overnight after an emergency op, and he was 13. I wasn't sure whether to stay overnight, but was persuaded by nursing staff to go home. He was still sleepy from anaesthetic anyway. All was well.

You know your son best, so do what feels right to you.

Hope he is soon back at home

Things have changed from 20-30 years ago when parents were restricted to visiting only at visiting times because we know that all the evidence shows that parents being present when their children are in hospital is in the child's best interest.

I'd go home overnight to sleep.

Thank you all for you posts. He's on his own in a ward and is a grown up 12 yr old and I'm sure he'd be fine. I think I was probably seeking reassurance that I wasn't being an overly fussy mum - which I'm far from according to my son.

Id take the lead from your son - if he wants you to stay there would be no budging me! I don't think that at his age it's considered weird if you stay, or if you left as he is on the cusp.

Also just to add balance to the posters who were left as children overnight alone, when I had my tonsils out aged 23 and a half, my mum desperately wanted to stay with me and was quite prepared to sleep on a put me up bed beside me I had to forcibly chuck her off the ward!

My 13 year recently had 6 nights in hospital- I didn't leave him at all, I didn't go off the ward! Possibly overkill but if there was no need to leave him, why would I?! Also it was impossible to know when the doctors would come and talk to you about something vital so leaving him risked missing out on important medical information.

I don't think you're doing anything 'weird'. I think you can make a decent case for not staying overnight as I doubt you'd get much sleep yourself there and your DS is not 'ill' if you know what I mean.

But if you're happy to stay, and presumably your DS wants you there, there's nowt wrong with it.

Don't think its weird. I think my 14yo would want me to stay but also I think she would be ok if I didn't stay overnight. As long as she has her ipad or dsi she'd be fine!

id ask your son what he wants.. my ds wanted me to go home at this age, but when he was older, and feeling worse, he wanted e to stay

Do whatever your DS is happy with. DD1 would want me to go, DD2 would want me to stay. I would be happier staying.

DH and I took turns to be with 12 year old DD when she was in for 3 days.

Really? It's the norm now to stay in hospital with teenagers? I must say I'm surprised (unless they were seriously ill).

My daughter is regularly in hospital - has been since she was about 6, at least once a year for a fortnight at a time. Apart from the first time when she was really unwell I have never stayed overnight, even though she has her own room, and she is fine. Last year she had to stay up at Kings and I could only visit at the weekend - even then I wasnt on the ward, they put me up in the Ronald MacDonald house (which was lovely - always put any spare change in their boxes please)