Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

New man lied

96 replies

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/08/2015 11:34

I've been seeing a man for a couple of months. Like many men he struggles to stay hard with a condom on. I'm on the pill anyway so suggested we get tested and bin the condoms.
He called me yesterday and said he went to a walk in clinic and got tested. He said he got his results and it was all clear.
I told him that they don't usually give results on same day, and asked him what he was tested for. He didn't know. I asked if he had a blood test, he said yes. He then said he doesn't have HIV because he gives blood every month Hmm I also pointed out that they make you wait 4 months between donations.

Today I called the clinic he said he went to. They do have a sexual health drop in but they don't usually provide any results on the same day, and if they do it would only be chlamydia and the rest take 2-3 weeks to come back.

I'm disappointed and annoyed. I think I know what comes next but I'm annoyed about it, and annoyed that he treated me like a mug. I don't know whether he went and just tried to bullshit me about the results or never went at all.

He wasn't going to be the great love of my life or anything but I like him.

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 05/09/2015 17:43

I know!! Getting an STI test is just a thing that normal people do, it's not a great achievement. How fucking thick is he? And he's not even a good liar, it was so obvious. He was as transparent as my 7 year old.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 05/09/2015 21:59

Liars are rarely good at it in my experience. They mostly do it because it's 'easier' for them at any one time and then become tripped up in the complications if challenged. They can lie about big things, small things - anything in fact: the lie just has to save them some effort at something or benefit them in some way.

You're well out of it. Thank Goodness you've found out early on. Smile

Baconyum · 05/09/2015 23:54

Yea compulsive liars lie about the most inane shit that's easily discredited.

LilaTheTiger · 06/09/2015 00:02

I'd have binned him for crimes against spelling and punctuation alone, so well done Smile

He sounds like a bellend.

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 06/09/2015 02:05

Oh and his nails were too long
And the night we slept together he hadn't put a cover on his duvet and had to go looking in his wardrobe for ages
What a prize Hmm

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 06/09/2015 02:19

He keeps bedlinen in his wardrobe? Where does he keep his clothes? Confused

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 06/09/2015 02:20

I suspect he only has one set so it wouldn't take up much space!

OP posts:
PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 07/09/2015 22:57

I don't think you've mentioned it, but did you meet via online dating?

Here's why I think so: his booking off for things that get cancelled struck a chord. Perhaps he never took himself off the market, and keeps trying to arrange more dates, but the lasses keep cancelling because he's a twat

And II hereby officially join the ranks of the "unimpressed".

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 08/09/2015 08:02

Yup
I'm sure he was still looking, he unmatched me early on after we started texting I assume so I couldn't check how much he was online, and he hid his last online status on whatsapp. I didn't care at first as I never expected to be exclusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/09/2015 19:47

Want to hear something funny? I was driving in town today and saw him. I didn't acknowledge him but he saw me and yelled my name. I turned to look and he made a phone gesture with his hand and yelled call me I've lost your number

1- deluded?
2- forgotten that I dumped him?
3- didn't actually realise I dumped him?

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 17/09/2015 19:57

Most likely he was taken aback and got out of the 'situation' via a straight lie because how did he actually lose your number? (With maybe a soupçon of 'she's bound to be pining for me' thrown in for flavouring.)

Laugh about it and have another piece of chocolate. Grin

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/09/2015 20:28

But he yelled across the road to get my attention! He did lose his phone but then he got a new one! I don't believe he lost my number but can't imagine why he thinks I'd want to call him

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 17/09/2015 20:46

As I said

...With maybe a soupçon of 'she's bound to be pining for me' thrown in for flavouring...

You're well away from that one. Smile

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/09/2015 20:49

Yeah I reckon that's it! Maybe he thought I was waiting to hear from him!!

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 17/09/2015 20:53

As you said at the beginning of the month:

...Right so he has got back in touch as he has a new phone...

He has access to your number from somewhere but he'll likely have persuaded himself that you were pining away in his absence. The thought of you not actually wanting to see him for some reason would be too too much to bear.

Remind me - have you blocked his number? (Just in case.)

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 17/09/2015 21:00

Aaahhhh, what a lovely knobbish postscript. Ties beautifully with my main complaint about street harassment: because too many random assholes do that, I don't know when somebody is legitimately trying to communicate with me.

So OP, if when this get gets in touch with you to the effect of "I was trying to gesture 'call me' ...", you, darling OP, get to make a stand for feminism : "well, society has conditioned me to not respond to catcalls on the street...." (then giving him both barrels about how you dumped him because he lied, etc, would be the bonus round).

THAT'S what AnyFucker would do... HTH Grin

NameChange30 · 17/09/2015 21:11

This thread is so refreshing! Finally an OP who doesn't take shit! He sounds like such a loser, you had a lucky escape. Next!

Oh and I'd wear WWAFD on a t-shirt never mind a wristband Smile

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/09/2015 21:32

I thought I already had dumped him! I thought it was clear...some men are delusional!
I really think he must be a complete loser and I suspect he lost his job as he seemed to be not at work during the week a hell of a lot

OP posts:
PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 17/09/2015 22:12

So, if you play your cards wrong, he gets to lose his lodgings, move in with you and be a compleat cocklodger! Woo HOO! Oooh, you lucky.... Grin Grin

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/09/2015 22:54

Oh how upsetting that I missed out on that golden opportunity!! Grin

OP posts:
Justaboy · 18/09/2015 13:00

A very good matter is this re STI's. I do know a bit about this as someone i know is a microbiologist. It seems that some clinics can work a bit faster on some tests and use differing analysis methods but there are some diseases that aren't that easy to detect some that need to be looked at a longer period of time to see if antibodies appear and there are some, herpes is one that can be asymptomatic that's to say you can be carrying it for a long time and not know you've even got it.

It is a timely issue on today's BBC news there is this;

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34269315

So yes I very much understand you anger towards him. Pity a lot more people don't take it seriously, as very serious it has been even more so as time goes on!.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page