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Original poster

New man lied

96 replies

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/08/2015 11:34

I've been seeing a man for a couple of months. Like many men he struggles to stay hard with a condom on. I'm on the pill anyway so suggested we get tested and bin the condoms.
He called me yesterday and said he went to a walk in clinic and got tested. He said he got his results and it was all clear.
I told him that they don't usually give results on same day, and asked him what he was tested for. He didn't know. I asked if he had a blood test, he said yes. He then said he doesn't have HIV because he gives blood every month Hmm I also pointed out that they make you wait 4 months between donations.

Today I called the clinic he said he went to. They do have a sexual health drop in but they don't usually provide any results on the same day, and if they do it would only be chlamydia and the rest take 2-3 weeks to come back.

I'm disappointed and annoyed. I think I know what comes next but I'm annoyed about it, and annoyed that he treated me like a mug. I don't know whether he went and just tried to bullshit me about the results or never went at all.

He wasn't going to be the great love of my life or anything but I like him.

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 15:51

Haha that's what I think! Ok I'm drafting it now

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 15:53

I'm fine, but I have decided not to see you any more, you lied about your STI test and said you got the results same day. I don't want to discuss it, I don't trust you and I won't carry on with someone who would try to bullshit me about something so important.

How's that?

OP posts:
category12 · 02/09/2015 15:57

Thumbs up. Grin

He'll probably be shocked you don't believe him.

goddessofsmallthings · 02/09/2015 15:59

Like many men he struggles to stay hard with a condom on

Who are these 'many men' you speak of and how come I haven't met any of them?

It's perfectly acceptable to dump a liar who's prepared to compromise your sexual health by any means that is convenient to you - including text and over the side of an ocean-going ship.

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:05

Well unless it's actually me and I am totally sexually off putting Hmm the last 4 men I have slept with (all since xh who was a Duracell bunny, sigh) have had this issue. Talking to friends indicates that this is common with men over 35 especially when they have been drinking, and dating usually goes with drinking. Or it could be new partner nerves. Who knows.

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:06

Omg I sent it. Just turned do not disturb on so he can't call me

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 02/09/2015 16:12

He can't call you, but will you receive any text messages he sends?

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:14

Not texts I don't think until I turn it off but he can send what's app. I will block him later but I kind of want to see what he says but not have to talk to him

OP posts:
redgoat · 02/09/2015 16:17

Great text. What a wanker.

nauticant · 02/09/2015 16:20

That is a fine text. Hopefully that'll have got rid OP.

Tiptops · 02/09/2015 16:23

Well done for spotting the lies. What a horrible man to risk your health just so he could get his end away. Sounds like he's never had a check up if he doesn't know the procedure?

As an aside, maybe suggesting you go condom free after only seeing him 5 times over the space of a couple of months was too soon? You don't really know someone at all after that amount of time. Even if he had been tested, he could have been unfaithful and put you at risk that way.

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:35

Yeah I know. Lesson learnt!

OP posts:
Baconyum · 02/09/2015 16:45

Another thinking you need to up your standards if the men you are meeting are having problems using condoms.

Unless they've had a lot to drink or are very nervous in this day and age it's the norm for most especially in the early stages of a relationship. Suggests to me even more worryingly that he rarely uses them with anyone! Also even though you've used condoms previously with this in mind and also as condoms not 100% safe think you getting tested would be a good idea. He definitely sounds like no loss.

In addition to moral issues if he know he has an sti and was willing to deceive like this that's actually assault and there have been prosecutions.

While I'm curious to see if he will respond and what his pathetic argument might be I wonder if you would be better off just blocking his arse!?

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:47

Your right. Dont even no why.tryin to impress u i suppose.I went to get it done and i couldnt get an appointment.im sorry.i hope you can forgive me. I Wish you all the best for the future.

Well blow me down with a feather. I didn't expect honesty!

OP posts:
Baconyum · 02/09/2015 16:48

Thank him for his honesty, but I wouldn't see him again. This is too important an issue to lie about.

eddielizzard · 02/09/2015 16:52

well at least he was honest when confronted. but the risks of what he did are too huge to overlook. trust is undeniably broken and seems like he realises that.

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 16:55

Don't worry no danger of seeing him again! No compromise these days! I sometimes think I need a wristband that says WWAFD (what would anyfucker do) as I have been so empowered by these boards Grin

OP posts:
Joysmum · 02/09/2015 17:03

I could never forgive a man who texts that badly. The STD lie pales into insignificance in comparison. Clearly you've done the right thing. Grin

Baconyum · 02/09/2015 17:03

I want that wristband Grin for my dd not in relation to guys yet but just in not accepting being treated like crap!

MerdeAlor · 02/09/2015 17:13

This thread is so refreshing

OP: this isn't OK is it?
Responses: No!
OP: right, youre dumped, men shouldn't get away with bullshit in a relationship

This has made my day OP. You're right of course, you're worth so much more than being lied to, I just wish all women had as much self worth.

You Star

cozietoesie · 02/09/2015 17:16

...and i couldnt get an appointment...

Well I've never been to one that actually had appointment systems - they were all walk in off the street and you took your chances with a queue.

Perhaps it's different in your neck of the woods, Obsidian. Smile

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 17:17

Hahaha thank you so much Flowers
I feel refreshed. I also realise the social conditioning that was at play during the phone call. I knew he wasn't being honest but because he said he was I sort of accepted it. It wasn't until the next day that I thought about it and thought fuck no! Previously when I was younger I would probably have convinced myself he was telling the truth and wilfully ignored the red flag.

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/09/2015 17:18

Yes indeed, the clinic he said he went to is walk in or appointment. They are open for walk in until 7pm so no reason he couldn't have been seen. Or the next day.

OP posts:
MerdeAlor · 02/09/2015 19:32

Yes, he was seeing if he could manipulate and lie to you at this stage to see what you'd accept. What a wanker.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 02/09/2015 21:20

Nicely handled OP. Hope the next one is less of a shithead.

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