Am I being an over sensitive bitch?

[turkishly]

Okay this is gonna be long and I hope not too boring. Guess I just want to rant

Been with dh many years and have four dc. Hes what I would describe as quite serious and practical compared to me. Hes also, I guess, a bit tight. What spare cash we have I like doing stuff-days out, weekends away holidays etc. Creating memories. While he does like these things, there seems to be a limit on how many we do. He never very often suggests going anywhere but does always (reluctantly sometimes) agree.
This wouldnt necessarily be a problem except I dont drive so am limited to what I can and cannot do without him. Ive never been remotely interested in driving. I love walking and dont mind public transport. However there's only so far you can go without a car

Recently we decided to upgrade the car and have had a new one through my work. For the first time ever ive wished I could drive. Theses this new car sitting outside but it may as well be a jumbo jet for all the use it is to me.
Dh has been showing off a bit and showing his family etc.who all seem to refer to it as his car. I feel narked.childish I know

I said to dh I may learn to drive in the new year to which he basically replied I wouldn't be very good (!) And even if I did pass I wouldn't be able to handle a car this size! I feel humiliated.
I have been really sarky with him.and making a point of limiting the 'lifts' that I have in 'my'car.
Am I being a prat?

Ditto they others re the company car thing.

My DH has just finished a scheme where he has a company car allowance to provide himself with a car that must fall within certain parameters. The loan was in his name (he got a private one rather than going through the scheme) and the car was in his name but insured through company insurance and maintained by them. Having made the final balloon payment, rather than just handing the car back and walking away, he's just sold it and made £3k. There was no option not to take additional salary rather than the car allowance.

There are many schemes out there and whatever scheme the OP is on she'll be paying out it out of her salary and paying benefit in kind tax on it.

sykadelic
Every thing you have said makes sense and is true. I do think I've over thought it and taken it literally and personally.

The trouble is that if you are feeling a bit used, taken for granted or ignored in other ways then innocuous comments do suddenly take on new meaning.

So "have you seen my new car" becomes yet another example of bad behaviour, whereas in a more appreciative marriage he would either not say that or he would and you could cough and say "Er...who's car?!" with a smile and he would look abashed and say "sorry.....OUR new car!" and that would be that.

Only you know whether it is another example of his behaviour or if you genuinely are overthinking it.

Either way, learn to drive, its great! And I tell you what, after years of standing at bus stops in the pouring rain, I never ever take my car for granted!

So he's just offered to take you somewhere and you've been a twat about it? What am I missing? Get off your arse and learn already! How many years have you been moaning about this?

hesterton thanks!
AGB, get your facts right and read properly. I havent been going on about this for years. I have literally only just decided that I might want to learn.
I have never been remotely interested before. I live on an excellent bus route. I can get to work and schools easily. Everything easily accessible by walking or public transport.
However, lately ive been travelling a lot around the Uk. Ive just began thinking how much easier this would be without making dh do something hes not fussed on and so I dont have to lug suitcases on a train with kids.
So mind your manners. I bet there's loads I can do that you can't.

Go for it! It's never been easier to drive and park cars with all the new technology eg parking sensors. As long as you use the as an aid and don't rely on them completely!

Yes our new car got sensors. All these extra tools have got to help!

Personally if I were you I would take secret lessons and then once I past my test would ask him if he wanted to go to X place for the day. When he inevitably says no say fine we'll go without you, grab the car keys and go but I'm very immature and would love to see the reaction and panic.

I am sooooo with Buttercup on this one!

But.... make sure you turn your phone off as you dont need to be worrying about him phoning you every 2 minutes when you are driving.

Buttercup
That would be a dream come true. Spiteful I know, but ultimate revenge for me.
Seriously though im not planning to discuss lessons with him. Just do it. If I do intensive and need to tell him as need dc sorting then that's the only information he will get. Just basics.

"I'm doing a course for work in X weeks, from Y to Z"

Its sort of true!

turkishly go for it - my mum learnt to drive in her late 40s and it's made a world of difference to her and dad. While she rarely drives if dads in the car (he prefers to drive than be a passenger) she can if needs be. Dads in her late 70s now and if anything happened health wise mum could (and has) driven him to appointments and shopping etc.

My DP doesn't drive (health reasons) and when I stuffed my back it was so difficult with the kids. We had to get lifts everywhere off the in laws and it was very awkward.

I hate to think what will happen when I have to give up my licence because of old age, probably have to get the kids/grandkids to run me around!!

Ok turkishly I apologise, I was pretty rude in my earlier reply, that was unnecessary.
wrt you 'literally' just deciding you might want to learn, your OP reads as if your DH has been resistant to your preference for 'creating memories' by going places/weekends away etc, throughout your many years together so it certainly sounds as if you've been on his case about this for a long time without taking the obvious solution.
Regardless, you know what you need to do so good luck with your lessons.