DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Welcome stressjug and yes we are always here to welcome newbies :) Have a read, and yes post for support or to ask questions :)

And welcome marou to our lovely friendly thread :)

Marrou sorry!

oooh I love my bed :) So lovely to be now back in it and where I am posting from :) fluffy bed :)

Got home at 8 pm. Watched Dr Who on catch up, with family, while ate roast chicken dinner and relaxed :) So much better without alcohol :)

I remember reading this thread when I was just starting out sober and it is a great place to find support.

Another lovely sober day here and I have been able to focus on making my loved ones happy instead of trying to engineer any excuse to get a drink.

Well done to those who have noticed bad habits creeping back in after a period of abstinence. I tried a number of times to control my drinking which worked for a while but eventually I always started again and eventually it always got a lot worse. Being totally dry is the only answer for me and as soon as I admitted that, it was actually a lot easier as I didn't have to have the 'shall I, shan't I' argument every single bloody day. Very freeing to accept I will not drink today and that us all I need to do.

Night all.

Thank you for posting fusion. Hearing positive stories about complete abstinence strengthens my resolve. Congratulations.

Fusion yes I agree about just being dry continually :) I had such a great weekend - didn't think about alcohol at all . I just cracked on with stuff and it just didn't appear in my mind :)

:)

Welcome marrou and stressjug.

I'm still early days but all the lovely people here are so supportive.

I knew things were bad when one bottle wasn't enough and I'd buy a small bottle to 'top up'. It really does keep creeping up on you.

Glad enjoy your fluffy bed. That's where I'm heading now. (Not your bed of course ).

Goodnight everyone.

bubble lol at my bed lol

although if you ever needed a bed there would be one here :)

Nunight all Oooh my bed with clean sun dried sheets is so lovely :) Hotel beds have nothing on this :)

glad and bubble You're doing so well, congratulations. Day 3 done and definitely no pink cloud for me. DH only started speaking to me this morning- hasn't spoken to me since Thursday evening. I don't blame him for being angry but him being like this just makes me want to drink.
Cried myself to sleep last night, just felt so lonely. I am back on Antabuse - part of me feels like it's 'cheating' but I still have to make the decision to take the tablet each day. It feels a bit scary knowing I can't drink but it's also a relief to have a ready reply when the voice starts telling me that I could just have one or two- I can just say 'I can't or I'll be horribly I'll'. End of conversation.
I hope I'm not projecting too much of a negative vibe onto such a positive thread. I am well chuffed at doing a sober weekend and today has definitely been better than yesterday. There is definitely something shifting in my brain to make me think that I may actually conquer this which I don't think I've ever truly felt before. Good luck to everyone just starting out x

2 years today for me :) Have a and on me This is today's blog post for anyone interested in reading. Have a great day lovely Dry peeps

MissHoolie whatever it takes and if Antabuse helps so be it :) Congrats on your week-end success. The first few days are the hardest

Morning everyone! Sorry I keep bouncing off and on the thread. It's hard to get on the computer when DP and the boys are around, and I like what I post here to be private.

lucy that's fantastic! This is Day 1 for me, so I hope I can emulate your fabulosity!!

Teapot as you predicted, the weekend was a lot more boozy than I wanted. BUT, we didn't have as much yesterday, and we have committed to looking after each other and making today our start. I can already feel that wobbly, nervous feeling at the thought, but I am sick of feeling so bleurgh all the time, and DP's psoriasis is getting worse and worse. And we are skint. And I want the DC to have two engaged parents, not a couple of pissheads. And we have a lovely wee car that we want to make the most of. There really are no positives to booze - why does it get such a grip?

Well done to everybody just starting out on this road. I hope nobody is getting sick of me saying I am not going to drink, and then drinking that same day? When I quit smoking I had so many false starts, but eventually it just clicked.

Meant to say too, thanks to everyone who asked about my dentist appointment. It didn't go ahead though, and I have another appointment for Thursday. When I got there on Friday, the receptionist was looking quite flustered and told me and another woman that we would have to re-appoint, as there was a "medical emergency" in the surgery. As I was leaving an ambulance pulled up, and it was still there a while later. No idea what happened, but hope the poor person was okay.

Morning Everyone Thank you for the welcome, this seems like a really supportive group, I'm glad I found you. I am two days without wine and I'd like to say I feel amazing, but my four year old and two year old are not sleeping brilliantly at the moment and I've been up half the night. My only consolation is that it would've been so much worse had I had a couple of glasses of wine before I went to bed.

I am most looking forward to getting my evenings back; the children sleep but if I have a glass of wine then the evening slips away and I don't feel like doing anything. I am planning to swim some evenings and paint (decorate type painting) on the others. We are renovating our house and we can't buy carpet until we have finished the painting - and it's getting cold with floorboards!

I hope everyone has a good day x

Marrou I've only been dry a few weeks and already I'm enjoying having those extra few hours in the evening. I'm watching TV without falling asleep for a start! I'm finding eating early then getting out of the kitchen really helps. Baths, cleaning upstairs etc takes me away from the usual routine of cooking and drinking.

Bambam teatime will be hardest. Not having 'just one to take the edge off' will be the mountain you have to climb tonight. It's so worth it though.

Well done marrou! Two days is great.

Hadron you are spot on about tea time being hardest. DP gets home just after 4.30 most days, and that's when the wee voice starts shouting that it wants a drink. I will need to be strong.

Evenings are quite difficult for me, and I will have to try hard to find ways to get around them. Basically, we have an 11yo and a 3yo, so they get their tea about 5-5.30, then the wee one gets his bath about 7, and off to bed. That would be fine, but then the big one needs his bath about 8, and by the time he gets off to bed and we can finally have our tea it's about 8.30-9! Just time really to slump in front of the telly for an hour or so before our own bedtime! I would normally be drinking for all of that time. We can't even really have our tea at the same time as the boys, because they won't eat the same as us, and I have to juggle it all around other commitments. I don't know how anyone manages!

BamBam - focus on these first few days, it's really important not to think long term and just get through it - whatever it takes.

To that end, I would suggest eating at the same time as the boys, and if for a few days you eat ready meals, or something really simple that you can eat - something comforting and that fills you up. I'd also say have at your disposal a stack of treats you can have when that voice starts up. Because it WILL start up. Whether it's a tub of ice cream (with you eating the lot), or sweets, or cakes, or whatever - it doesn't matter because ANYTHING is going to be better than giving in to that voice.

Once the boys are in bed keep those treats to hand if need be. Get ready for bed early, change up that routine as much as possible, have a bath, read, whatever. I was often in bed by 8.30pm and who cares if that's the case.

You're going to need to shake things up a bit to get a different result. Good luck

Everyone's doing really well, good to read posts from you all and welcome to all the newcomers.

MissHoolie - keep posting, well done for getting through the weekend.

Thanks teapot. I'm not sure that eating with the boys is do-able but I will see what I could do. Once the boys bathtimes are past I am generally okay, it's just that initial couple of hours once DP gets home. I know I will crave sweet stuff, so I will get some treats in to tide me over.

I also thought I might go for a wee walk in that dead time between the boys having their tea and bath time.

Does anybody have something, like a wee charm or crystal, that they find helps? I don't mean to sound woo, but I like to have little solid reminders like that e.g. when we struggled to conceive DS2 I wore a moonstone bracelet, and I have a couple of good luck charms that I carry with me. I know AA use tokens, so I suppose it's similar.

Amethyst is the crystal for sobriety I think BamBam. Not particularly woo either but it's nice to get something symbolic sometimes. I would also try to eat with your dc. I have an extremely fussy eating pre-schooler and another one who changes his mind daily about what he likes and doesn't like so I do feel your pain. There's no way I could be bothered to make two dinners though, I change the extras in mine to things I like but know they won't touch.

Welcome stress and lean away.

Big congrats and shaking those sober pompoms for you Lucy! Maslow's hierarchy of needs, urgh that takes me back to nights of study. Loving the music at the end of your blog, could just imagine you dancing away. Have a marvelous day

Well, I had second thoughts that I was going to be able to make it as I woke up with a killer red, sore throat but I finished my half marathon!! Chip time 2:08 so I'm bloody chuffed with myself. Very sore today and a bit of the post-run blues, well that's that over meh-ness. Next goal to think of now :)

bambam I just reward myself with lovely stuff using the money I'd have spent on wine. I've bought really nice skincare and make up and see that as my reward.

If you need any further incentive let me tell you one more thing - my huge eye bags I've had for YEARS are hardly noticeable. I'd read about dehydration and how it affects you but never believed it. My skin is also clearer and plumped. I don't look ten years younger but I do look significantly better and more rested. ??

Ah, thanks custard. I think I might have amethyst somewhere in jewellery that used to belong to my gran. Well done on the half marathon! I am really in awe of anybody as fit as that!

Okay, I will look at re-jigging our evening routines regarding mealtimes etc. It's difficult having two fussy boys, especially with such a big age gap, but I'll see what I can do.

hadron when I did Dry January my skin looked better than it has done in years, and my face seemed to slim down too. Definitely something to look forward to, and maybe I could reward myself with some nice perfume.

I look 20 years younger since giving up the booze. Really. Not my opinion - online and real life view!

Custard HUGE congrats on 2:08 a time to be proud of :)
Glad I've done a brave stupid thing and shared a before and after self on my blog today. Someone has commented that I look like the daughter of my former drinking self
Bam I wore an amethyst bracelet and a f**k you wolfie bracelet in the early days. On my drinking wrist as a reminder if I ever got tempted. Agreeing with all other advice about how to proceed for success. Beware of HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) as eating late with DP triggers the first one. Snacks ahoy! :)