DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Agreed Teapot and I wasn't meaning to sound competitive by mentioning my sober birthday next week! I like to hear of people successes further ahead on the journey as I use this as a motivator to keep going :)
Icouldbe apologies if I sounded harsh earlier but your post rankled and I reacted rather than pausing and giving a calmer response.

I think Icould the longer term sober ones just don't post as often. When you first start and stumble between drinking and non drinking you do post more for support. I've been on and off from the first thread and hitting nine months this time and definitely don't come on as much as I used to. There's only so much you can say about not drinking I suppose :) There's a good few I know who have been here from the start, have years under their belt now and pop on every now again.

I honest to God don't think I could have done it (do it) without this thread to check into.

Congrats on your 14 days Sea

glad I was exactly the same with not being able to read blogs at the start as I found them too triggery. I'm ok with it now but I really had to avoid them the first few months. Factual books I was ok with - the likes of Dying for a Drink or scary medical statistics. Hope you're ok and the nose recovers soon.

Hugs Teapot, sounds like a really tough weekend.

Icouldbe, I saw your post earlier this evening and in all honesty it rankled with me too.

I don't think anybody here is being competitive when posting how long they have been sober. We are all here because we want to be alcohol free. We want to talk to others who understand, to both gain and give support.
I would hate for anybody to think they shouldn't be proud of themselves for stating
how many days, months or years sobriety
they have under their belt. I find it inspiring
and motivating to hear how well people are
doing. We do say one day at a time.

I want to be congratulated for doing well because it is bloody hard. If I fall, I want to be supported in picking myself up and getting back on track.

Posting sober days or anniversaries to me is like running and getting a personal best. I'm comparing it to me and me alone and sharing the same way they do in the running thread with their times. It's not competitive at all and we should all celebrate each other's achievements. If anything, to me, the earlier days are harder to gain than once you've stacked up a few months. We all have different struggles but the one common thing is that we all know how easy it is to go back to that first day again, that's regardless of two weeks down or two years.

Apologies for running anology half marathon approaching fast

Thanks custard.

Like others I am isolating myself at the moment. Having long baths at my trigger time, then getting into bed really early.

I also told DH that I want to stop drinking completely. For the first time I said out loud that I have a drinking problem.

Well done Sea, that's a big step. How did he react?

Good analogy custard. I hope the training is going well.
I may try couch25k again. I am so unfit, it is

Great, he said he would cut back too. He doesn't drink much though .
My drinking has caused me to behave terribly so many times. He has in the past asked me to stop, even issued ultimatums. I still drank.
I have said in the past that I would stop drinking. He said I seem different this time, serious.

Thanks Sea, the training is done and dusted. It's this weekend.. eeek, bricking it! Go for it, I couldn't run the 30secs without near collapsing when I started c25k. Sure as hell knocked the drinking thoughts out of my head for the evening though

I wouldn't worry about isolating yourself. I became a hermit for many months as I really didn't have the will power to be out. Lots of self care and do what you have to do, even if it means hiding away from the world for a bit until you feel a bit stronger.

That's fantastic about your dh, really chuffed for you. Makes all the difference to have that support in your corner :)

Will be thinking of you this weekend custard.
Do you know what, I think I will give it a go.

My DH is great. I know how much he worries that one day I won't wake up, because I have drunk so much.

Icouldbe , I felt your post was a bit harsh - and if it was aimed at me especially so. I am not documenting a couple of days not drinking, then doing it again - I am making a really serious attempt to stop and have been doing so for more than a year. I have had long periods of continuous sobriety (six months, four months etc) , but sometimes I lapse. I have found this thread and the previous threads very helpful and suspect I would have just carried on drinking each time, without them. The help in here gives me hope I can end up sober continually.

Having said that, if I have offended anyone by posting about my lapse then I apologize.

for everyone from me tonight and certainly no apologies needed.

I'm on phone (and should be asleep!) so can't scroll back up to find who posted that we are all here to give and gain support in our own journeys to abstinence.

I also loved the running analogy and in that spirit I've pinched a bit of a corny line from a song -

'sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long but in the end it's only with yourself'.

Step by step, one day at a time.

Night all.

That's a mammoth step Sea, well done. Your H sounds lovely and I'm pleased he reacted positively.

custard - I love the comparison to the running threads with people posting their times; it is totally personal. Back to the drinking, as you wrote we're all on a level playing field in that we're all back to square one the instant we pick up that first drink, and there's no getting away from that. Look at poor Robin Williams, relapsing after what, 20 years?

Lucy - I certainly didn't think that of your mention of your impending 2 year soberversary (sober treat? Experience or consumer good? )

glad you haven't offended anyone with talk of your relapse. How are you feeling now?

I had a horrific day yesterday... feeling consumed with worry and fear and overwhelm. As always very aware that a drink won't help and went to bed at 9.30pm. Feeling a bit better today but hoping for a better day today

PS custard as a fellow LP thanks for saying that about my weekend. We had a great time thanks to a friend putting us up for a sleepover to 'distract' the DC but it now heralds a return to bad relations between me and the ex and that is a very depressing prospect.

[Tang

glad

custard good luck with half marathon this week-end!! As a fellow runner, I love the running analogy and think it fits perfectly
sea well done for telling DH. It helps enormously to be able to be honest with someone.
Teapot 2 books as it goes Gabor Mate In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - which I've started reading already and can really recommend. And Tommy Rosen's Recovery 2.0 - which seemed fitting as I go from year 2 to 3 :)

Hi all
Nose looks better, head in better place now. Started meditation again and listened to A Bubble Hour radio show last night - very good and helpful :)

Still Dry. Day 4 (Again! Sigh, but never mind - I have done it before and can do it again :) )

Am v impressed with all the runners in here! Did you start after you stopped drinking, or were you doing it before? Have had a go at C25K first week, but then got a back injury so had to stop. Also all rural lanes with no lights or pavements are a bit dangerous round us.

and and for Tea
And to sea [ smile]

Hi everyone. Sorry I disappeared for a while. I have spectacularly failed with my Dry September, and feel quite ashamed.

I want to stop being such an idiot, and to get healthy and fit, but there is always the loud voice in my head telling me I want a drink, and it's so hard to ignore. Hard too because DP is just the same, so if one of us is feeling weak it's hard for the other to not just cave.

Thank you for the congratulations on my driving test. We have got a lovely wee used car, but I feel absolute terror going out in it! I am going out later to a wee car park just to practice on the clutch, because I keep stalling it. It feels very different to the car I learned in. It's another reason I need to stop, because a few times I have been worried about still being over the limit, so don't drive until after lunchtime. Today for example, I will wait until after lunch to go out. The whole point of the car is supposed to be to go anywhere, anytime ffs!

Sorry to be all me me me - I am trying to catch up on the thread.

Quick message, welcome back BamBam - good to see you again :)

Just wanted to say that that voice in your head is precisely what you need to tackle - the voice... aka the wine witch aka wolfie... aka... your addict voice. It really helps to personify that voice IMO, and to start to see it for what it really is. Once you distance yourself from it you can be a separate entity from it and beat it with different thinking.

Thank you teapot. It's so hard because, when the voice is saying I want a drink, I 100% believe that voice. I see what you mean about trying to make it into a sort of third person so that I can better ignore it.

icould I have finally caught up with the thread, and feel a bit upset by your earlier post, because I worry that people think that someone like me is just "playing" at trying to be sober, when actually it's a constant argument I have with myself, and a battle that I seem to lose more than I win. It's bloody exhausting and sometimes a bit of support goes a long way.

^what BamBam said +1 !

BamBam welcome back - I understand, I really do And yy to the worries about being still over the limit next morning - that is one of the best bits about being sober - no more worries like that :)

Belle is very good on "the voice" I find :)

Yes glad, being able to bat the phrase "fuck you wolfie" straight back at the voice has helped me a lot at times. This loops straight into what PinkPop says about not revisiting the decision. You KNOW you don't want to drink any more, so when a little voice pipes up saying you do, it needs to be told where to go in no uncertain terms

(I know it's not easy btw... but it does get easier..)

Belle also says 'when you have some sober momentum, don't fuck with it'.

I like that..... I find that after a while I think 'Oh, I can have just one' and I remind myself of that saying.