DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

I don't stress as the alcohol is burnt off in cooking - honest only the flavour remains

I don't worry too much either for my own cooking..... there is hardly any wine in the house nowadays anyway and if I do use it I burn it off. If out for dinner etc I just ignore it. It has never been a trigger for me, but I HAVE avoided desserts like tiramisu where the alcohol is uncooked. I avoided rum and raison icecream over summer, but that was probably a bit OTT.

treasure when you say you are not feeling too good, what are you feeling?I recall feeling bone weary and very very headachey. I was mainlining painkillers the first week due to constant headaches!

Hope everyone has a great day. :)

I'm the same as Nachos pretty much - although I wouldn't keep a bottle of wine in the house on the off chance I'd need it for cooking. I buy small bottles of cooking wine from Waitrose in case I need it, and use rice wine etc. BUT I would probably steer clear of any uncooked alcohol in puddings etc. Mainly because the taste of uncooked alcohol, well, there's no getting away from what it is and what it's there for.

glad - are you sure you're fine with opened bottles of wine being left in the fridge? After reading your post I was left thinking that if the wine hadn't been there you wouldn't have been tempted... I'm sure in the same situation I would have done the same thing, but am "lucky" in that I don't have a drinking partner here. My exH also could take or leave alcohol but I'm sure would therefore not have minded if I'd said I didn't want it in the house. Wine's the only thing that really tempts me, I have loads of other alcohol here and it doesn't bother me at all...

Treasure - make it your mission to read as much as you can to convince yourself that you're not depriving yourself; it'll be the best tool you can give yourself to succeed over the longer term. I felt crappy in the early days (bad sleep) but it DOES get better, and then the sleep is infinitely better to what came before. I was shocked at how long it took my body to normalise because I didn't think of my drinking as that bad - I wasn't a daily drinker and really thought that after 2-3 days of getting the booze out of my system I'd feel normal. Take heart though in that any physical changes you notice show you just how much of an effect alcohol has on us without us even realising.

Hi everyone. Woke up with a headache but I'm not sure if that's got anything to do with being dehydrated or reading my iPad til late in the night - I've downloaded some helpful books. Otherwise feeling good. I'm going the supermarket at 9 am so il not temped by the wine isle.
Hello to all the new starters like me.

Thanks everyone as I thought, alcohol free cooking a bit ott.

Treasure, I have been reading about going af and thinking about it a lot for around six-nine months now. My thoughts about drinking and alcohol are changing as a result. I don't drink every day. Mainly at weekends, but I can easily do one to two bottles. Sometimes I am ok, sometimes I make a right tit of myself. I never know how it will end. Either way, I know I feel like shit the next day, (or few), and want to hide from the world.

As for sleeping Treasure, have you tried a warm bath, milky drink, relaxation tapes etc etc.

Interestingly, I am not drinking as much caffeine as I used to. I am trying a honey and lemon flavour green tea. It is definitely an acquired taste

Hadron, your headache could be a bit of both. Good to hear you are otherwise feeling good.

Belated congratulations on passing your test bambam - have you done any solo drives yet, that freedom to go where you want when you want to is so good - I've recently started driving again after a very long time and can't believe I managed without a car for so long!!

Hello treasure and hadron, I can't moderate or cut back either - have tried so many times with different rules and restrictions but keep coming back to it so for me right now dry definitely continues to be the way forward. I'm a newbie too about a month in...

Glad and Bubbles thanks for coming back! Keep on getting on the wagon. Glad I'm in awe of your ability to just have a glass and then put it back in the fridge - playing the tape to the end I know I am literally unable to do that, which at the moment is what is stoping that first sip passing my lips.

Had a big wobble at the weekend, funnily enough cooking related. Am doing a chicken in white wine thing and when I was doing our online shop and typed in 'white wine' I was presented with pages of "your favourites" and literally felt myself starting to salivate. I couldn't stop looking at them and imagining the hit of that first gulp and then just plugging the rest of the bottle. Was royally pissed off as I thought I'd started to get in control and feel as if I was anything but deprived and yet it suddenly felt as if I'd just been holding my breath until the next time I could drink.

Anyway, I completed the shop without putting wine in my basket and then went out the next day and just got one of those small bottles which is sat in the cupboard ready for to be cooked and amazingly it hasn't tempted me at all. I think because it's labelled in my head for food and that's that.

Anyway, it was just a blip but it scared me - I don't want to go back to being the person I was when alcohol was controlling me.

Treasure my sleep went completely to pot - it's just about settling down now a month later and I am starting to sleep better and more deeply than I have in years. There are some great tips up thread. Hadron, try drinking lots of water that did help with my early days headaches.

Keep keeping on everybody.

I spectacularly failed. Felt I should come back and own up though.

Tapering was going well and I thought I had things under control, no idea why! Because I've been here before and its always the same.

I go completely off the rails when I'm on my own. I work from home and my husband is away a lot. I can't stand it.

I cannot get my head around this self bloody sabotage! I feel so much better when I don't drink.

A couple of years ago I spent some time at AA. Something someone told me has stuck with me, they said that alcohol felt like oxygen to them. That's how I feel when I'm gripped by it. The only way I can describe it is like when you stay underwater for a few seconds longer than you should and when you come up for air your lungs are screaming for it. You gulp it in.

Oh God. I'm a pretty well adjusted person mostly.

Hi Tangfastics,
I am a newbie so I don't have any great words of wisdom or advice. I am sure someone more knowledgeable will be along soon.

Is boredom and isolation a factor? I know it can be for me.

Teapot thanks for the though :) yes I am fine with the bottle I opened being in the fridge - OH had a couple of glasses last night and the night before last so it is gone, now :)

We have had unopened bottles of wine and opened ones around all the time I have been dry, and when I fall off the wagon sometimes it is not because there is wine in the house as sometimes there was not :) it is my choice to drink it, not the opened bottle ;)

There is always spirits in the cupboard ( we have a small collection of assorted bottles bought duty free , when we used to travel a lot) - which despite craving for a drink sometimes I have never touched - odd isn't it?

Strange that. I have a half bottle of vodka here, but it only gets used when the wine has all gone. I wonder if it is because wine gives an immediate rush, and warm fuzzy feeling. Beers and spirits don't have that affect on me.

Isolation is a big factor.

Thank you for replying sea and welcome

Thanks Tangfastics

Hi Tang
It's a huge hidden problem for people working from home. You don't have the down time on the drive home so you end up creating your own space between work and home. My friend used to drive around the block at 530pm!!
Can you get out of the house for a walk or a drive in the evening to shake up your usual routine?

I've got 3 dogs but I started using their afternoon walk as the time to drink my mini bottle of wine so I didn't have booze in the house!

But I get what you are saying. I need to find a new routine. The change to autumn might help as it forces my usual walking pattern out.

Tang You say a couple of years ago you went to AA. Did AA work for you then? If it did is it time to go back? I have a friend who needed the IRL support because virtual was not enough. Just a thought :)

AA didn't work for me at the time, I dont think i stuck it for long enough so I never got past the horrible emotion of the start of admitting to a problem. I might be better seeking out a woman's only group too.

Hi. It's been 8 months for me. Never looked back! :-) Lost about 12 lbs as well as a result

Tang I am thinking about giving AA a go ... I like the idea of you going for a walk at "home time" to change your routine.
Well done Abundatia :)
Hope those who were feeling crappy are improving now :) I am in the "sleeping a lot" zone at the moment :) but I like my bed, so that is ok :)

Congrats Abundatia

For those not sure about AA, I have seen people talk about something called SMART as an alternative. I can't comment on either as I have never been.

Day 11 now and feeling good. I am starting to worry about New Years Eve.
What do sober people do? I think I will struggle to stay enthused to see the New Year in without having necked a bottle or two of fizz

glad I wish I could spend more time in my bed

Seabiscotti Try and stay in today. No point future tripping about something which is 3 months away as you'll be much stronger in your sobriety by then. Have done 2 NYE's AF now and don't miss the NYD hangover one bit!!
Abundatia huge congrats on your 8 months from me too!
Tang fair do's. Will there be a women's group local to you? SMART seems to be establishing itself better in the UK now too so worth a look. More CBT focused rather than HP focused.

Thanks Lucy. I think I will. I am supposed to go out this evening, but would rather go to bed

Thanks sea and lucy, I'll look up SMART.

Evenings are long without wine aren't they?

Are you ok Hadron?