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Original poster

partener left me on holiday

120 replies

lynnbaxter123 · 19/07/2015 13:20

I'm currently on holiday in Bulgaria with my other half and the 2 kids, we were already arguing before we left the airport and now he's told me we're finished and we haven't seen him for 2 days. I don't know where he's sleeping he won't answer calls or text messages and the kids are heart broke. We've been looking forward to this for so long and now I don't know what to do. I can barely find my way around the hotel complex im useless with that sort of thing. I just want to go home but can't as i ve got another week here yet. Trying to keep the kids happy but I just want to cry. Anyone offer any advice

OP posts:
butterflygirl15 · 19/07/2015 16:26

Has he got passport and ticket home? If he doesn't leave those at reception for him, tell them he is missing and then put him right out of your mind and get on with enjoying your holiday.

And when you get home I hope you can extricate him from your life as soon as you possibly can.

CamelHump · 19/07/2015 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 19/07/2015 16:30

You need to report him missing. If anything happens to him.....you are going to end up looking dodgy.

Report him missing and put him out of your mind. Enjoy you holiday!

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2015 16:32

Why is she going to look dodgy?! He's the dodgy one, not her.

Garlick · 19/07/2015 16:35

Camel, I very much hope OP's supping a relaxing beer while her kids enjoy their last dip in the pool for the day!

CamelHump · 19/07/2015 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 19/07/2015 16:36

imperial he is a dick we know this.

However, in the real world someone not reporting their oh missing, after they storm off during a fight and are not seen for days is inviting Suspiscion on themselves. Which is not what she needs rfht now, being abroad on her own with her kids.

sensiblesometimes · 19/07/2015 16:41

Yes reporting him missing is the responsible thing to do once she's done that her conscience is clear ...he's not her problem

sleeponeday · 19/07/2015 16:43

If she's staying in an all inclusive resort, barely leaving, and she has no idea where he is (so not there, too) and he's not answering his calls or texts (which are provably made) then the time to report him missing is if he doesn't show up for the return flight back. She needs to report him from the UK, explaining in full then.

If she's surrounded by people and her own mobile is switched on (so her whereabouts is tracked) and she has small kids with her all the time, if anything does happen to him off the premises nobody can collar her for it with any prospect of success.

Besides, I agree with Imperial. Lovely as it is to imagine he's pissed off a local mafiosi and is now sleeping with the fishes, it's more likely that he's staying somewhere else and spending the family money on a self-indulgent lad's trip like the manchild he is.

janetandroysdaughter · 19/07/2015 16:43

OP I'd report him missing - to the hotel, the police, any holiday reps and also let his family know he is AWOL. There's a chance something happened to him while he was drunk. If it has, the rows you had will not feel significant long term and you'll be glad you did the right thing.

Most likely he's just being a plonker, and you'll have to face him again sooner or later, but behave as sensibly as you can, given what a vile situation you are in.

sensiblesometimes · 19/07/2015 16:44

' till he comes back which of course he will......in think moving to a different hotel or room is a very good idea

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2015 16:44

But if she reports him missing, he might come back!

I'd report him if he didn't turn up for his flight.

sensiblesometimes · 19/07/2015 16:45

Help op to put him out of her mind

sleeponeday · 19/07/2015 16:46

Rather than report him missing to the police, how about calling a friend and asking them to call him? He may respond to them.

sensiblesometimes · 19/07/2015 16:54

No he really doesn't deserve that sort of effort

AcrossthePond55 · 19/07/2015 16:56

First order is to be sure you have enough money, your passports, and return tickets. Are you able to log on somewhere and check your banking and credit cards? That may give you a clue as to where he is. If he's holed up somewhere, he has to have paid for it somehow. You also want to be sure he isn't blowing money you will need for incidentals or a possible (unlikely) emergency.

Second, (a very good suggestion) have a third party call him. I don't know about there, but here (US mobiles) if a phone is 'off' it goes direct to voicemail after one ring. That would show he's either switched off or the phone is dead. If a phone rings multiple times before going to voicemail, that shows it's 'on' but being ignored or is where the person can't hear it. If there is no response or the phone is dead, report him missing to the local police and contact the nearest UK consulate (if applicable) to report him missing there, too.

Once you've done those things, you've done all you can do. Try to relax and take care of yourself and your children.

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2015 17:02

Hang on, he's buggered off and left her in total charge of the children. He didn't disappear, he dumped her and left. Now she has to make an effort to contact him? No way. The only effort she has to make is that the children have a good holiday and that she gets a sunlounger and a bloody big cocktail.

Mintyy · 19/07/2015 17:05

To the police reporters - if you had a row with your partner and he stormed off and left you and ignored your phone calls for two days at home, would you report it to the Police? If dh did this to us I would assume he had left me, it wouldn't cross my mind to report him missing.

Spartans · 19/07/2015 17:10

mintyy yes I would. Twats aren't immune to going missing and something bad happening. If dh disappeared for 2 days here or on holiday, I would be worried. Because he doesn't do that. If he is the type to do it, I would still report him to cover myself. Just in case the worst happens.

I don't think she should continue to try and contact him. She should let someone know he is missing and forget about it. If he turns up, he turns up

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2015 17:12

I disagree. The OP plainly says: "now he's told me we're finished" - he can't have it both ways. Personally I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking that I was worried about him.

Fluffyears · 19/07/2015 17:16

If you have a joint account call the bank and report his cards as stolen. Get a different room at the hotel and see how he dares in a foreign country cut of from his family and any money. Have you got the tickets and passports please keep your own and the kids safe and leave him to fend for himself...wanker!

Wideopenspace · 19/07/2015 17:17

Yeah, I think I would probably report after 48 hours in the UK - the difference is that in the UK, presumably the errant husband would have more options about where to stay - friends, family etc.

48 hours with no contact is outrageously selfish. Unless, of course, he's fallen in the sea/got into a fight/been arrested/been run over etc
So reporting is important. IMO.

ChilliAndMint · 19/07/2015 17:18

I imaging the OP will have reported him missing by now.
Let us hope that he is found soon, I think I would be beside myself with worry.

Spartans · 19/07/2015 17:21

Well I am quite convinced that if this was a wan that stormed off and her do didn't at least report her missing people would question why.

Him saying its over does not absolve her from suspicion of something happens to him. It's entirely for her I think she should report it. Not at all for him.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 19/07/2015 17:22

Lynn speak to your Rep as a matter of urgency, get their help.

You registered with the hotel on arrival for police, immigration and insurance purposes, if you don't know where your H is/he isn't where he's supposed to be, then you've at least done the responsible thing in having that noted.

Your Rep or a member of hotel staff will be able to assist you with the basic information about your resort.
Make sure you have all your documentation in order and in a safe place and that you have funds?

After that try and make the most of the facilities for the holiday and for your DCs. You can cope, you just don't realize it yet.

You know what they say about when the going gets tough.

What a shitty thing to do to you.
I'd definitely request a room change and make sure the code on the safe is different (if you have one in the room)