Anyone recover from something they never thought they could?

[SusansLove]

Thanks to anyone who listens or answers, and before starting you should know that I have been to endless counselling, read books, talked it over a billion times, repeated positive mantras but I just can't seem to heal myself and wanted to know if anyone has ever recovered from something they could not imagine ever recovering from?

I know there is a lot of "affairs" and crappy men on here, but I think what mine did to me and put me through was at the top end of the scale - made a lot worse to my psyche because until it happenned I honestly thought we had the best relationship ever, the most loving partnership and I trusted him probably more than I can actually comprehend or explain.

What he did to me was sudden, prolonged, intentional and designed to cause me maximum possible suferring. He had no mercy and seemed to enjoy it. I knew him for years. As close as people can be.

I was just here tonight looking for a little hope. A hope that after someone you love and trust and have known for years like family does stuff to you that you can't understand or come to terms with - do you ever get better?

I feel like I pretend to, but it never goes away.

Well said Weed. I agree completely.

Not to mention that saying things as they happenned is not in the least indicative of how much trauma it caused you.

Some people might be far more traumatised by their husband cheating than by being involved in a shooting. It's all about the psychological effects and how it happens that makes all the diferrent o the way it leaves scars on you.

Dione, I think you are right. It is trusting yourself. That is a very, very difficult step to make. I hope I can learn to do it.

You put that summary you wrote last night beautifully Susan.

I trusted myself when I found out - after a lot of work, to be fair - that the perpetrator was seriously flawed; and it was no reflection on me at all. There was no way I could have predicted he was the way he was. I was literally a victim of monstrous, inhuman behaviour; entirely innocent.

SusansLove, I wonder if you're starting to feel a little stronger not just because of the advice and support you've received in this thread, but also the compassion and understanding that yourself have given to others on here.

Opening up and sharing; having that mutual solidarity with others who have suffered trauma... I believe it can really help with the healing process.

I think that somehow, by nurturing and guiding others, you are subconsciously nurturing and guiding yourself...

I would personally recommend you stay on this discussion forum and become a regular contributor :) You are self-aware, empathetic and very eloquent and that is a valuable asset both to a forum such as this, and to your own process of coming to terms with stuff.

Just a thought....

:)

Just heard on the radio:

The wound is the place where the light comes in. - Rumi

Then after a bit more googling, some quotes that struck a chord with me:

When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling. - Yann Martel: Life of Pi

Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It's what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don't let them take that from you. - Sherrilyn Kenyon: Invincible

There is solitude in suffering, when you go through darkness that is lonely, intense and terrible. Words become powerless to express your pain; what others hear from your words is so distant and different from what you are actually suffering. - John O'Donohue: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

"Don't let the bastards grind you down" is one of my favourites