The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Soaking Up The Warm Sunshine, Instead Of The Warm White Wine!

[Mouseface]

Hi, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

A place for pouring out your heart without being judged, mostly because a lot of us have been exactly where you are right now, or somewhere similar.

We've been around for a while, so there's not much that we've not seen..... or heard.... or been through ourselves.

Some of the Babes are newer to the Bus, some of the Babes have been here on dear old "Gerald" (The name this Bus was given by one of the Babes, I forget who now!I suspect IsinDe or Silver) for a little while longer!

EVERYONE is welcome here. Drinkers, those who are complete non drinkers, and those who are somewhere in the middle of all of the above. :)

Some Babes are in control of their drinking, some not so much. It's dreadfully hard some days, days when there is nothing going around your head except thinking that you MUST have a drink and you sit there trying to work out when, what time you can have that first mouthful of ice cold poison.

Whatever your goal here, or why you're here, we'll all help you along the way, YOUR WAY.

There will be one of us on here that can relate to your life story as if it were a mirror they were looking at, someone to hold your hand if you want it, catch you if you fall, which you may or may not. Positive thinking, just One Day At A Time.

No one Babe is better than any other, we've all been addicts. We've all suffered, yes some more than others but it's not a competition (and no-one gets turned away) but if you rack up shed loads of sober days, you will be a winner on the thread!!

So, if you want somewhere safe to sit and enjoy the warming summer sun, come find a seat, have a chat or just sit and listen to the rest of us yakking on!!

Nice to meet you :) all.

Also, here is the latest thread -

THE LATEST THREAD WE'VE SHARED OUR STORIES AND EXPERIENCES ON

And this is the very first thread -

AND THIS THREAD, THIS THREAD IS EXTREMELY SPECIAL BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE THE JOURNEY STARTED, AND HAS SINCE EVOLVED OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS

Hope to chat soon, Mousey x

Well I'm looking out of the window and I see sunshine. This is very, very rare in Scotland and not to be wasted. I would recommend a short visit to your Dad (get a takeaway coffee and stay with him for 15 minutes until you've finished your drink) and then go for a lovely walk in the sunshine. Make the most of it, tomorrow looks like shit weather, and the ironing can be done then.

I agree with venus ma 1 good deed to make you feel good then some time for yourself to charge your soul! Hope you're having a good day!
I'm on holiday and boy it's hot I managed 7 days AF before we came away and that is an absolute record for me. Even when pregnant I don't think I went 7 days without anything at all. I've been unsure about holidays. Usually drink masses and wanted to have some but not sure where or how to draw the line. I'm really trying to take the 1 day at a time advice so yesterday was day 1 and I had less than half a bottle with dinner and nothing at the villa. I feel like I beat that WW with a cudgel! Today's another day and another battle but yesterday was Round 1 to me! This thread is making a huge difference to me. I'm truly grateful.
The bus is hurtling on it seems. Loads of posters - hello all! You're in the right place So much good sense. I really love comparing it to hoping to control diarrhoea! So true

Three bottles of beer were consumed last night. But instead of beating myself up about it I'm proud that I stopped there. Usually, this would be the warm up and would have been followed by a bottle of wine. Aiming to do another week AF and see how I get on. Wishing everyone the best whatever your short/long term goals are

Well done gromit!

Didn't get out for walk and couldn't face visiting dad after him crying and shouting yesterday but have had a profitable day. I have coloured my hair, ironed a few things I need for work, cleaned the oven,made a veggie and lentil curry, read the paper from cover to cover in blissful silence and wrapped my sisters birthday present. All very peaceful.

Well done, Demented. 3 days down AF for me x

Morning babes, had some wine on Saturday night but didn't overindulge. It was in the company of a very good friend and we finished the evening with a mug of tea and some toast (smothered in marmalade) .

Ugh.

WTF is the point in extolling the virtues of HRT as an insomnia buster if I then drink too much and stay up too late? Truthfully, I had less than a bottle of wine but whenever I drink for some reason it always leads to me avoiding going to bed (no idea why)

I've had 6 hours (poor-quality) sleep and woke up feeling like shit Tired but also that horrible guilt/self-pity/shame that comes from over-indulging. I was watching stupid STUPID clips of Friends on youtube at 1am. Why?

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Good morning babes,

I have been reading but I'm struggling with my mood so didn't want to bring down the lovely positive posts I've been enjoying reading.

I haven't drank since I got back from my holiday but feel disheartened that I'm still so close to a relapse, the holiday was to show everyone I was back to my old self and when I saw everyone drinking I thought I could too and showed my true colours once again by getting pissed and falling asleep when I should have been helping my mum with the kids.

I'm very very sad that things that excite normal people, holidays, nights out, socialising with friends actually fill me with dread and anxiety, will this feeling ever go away????

My mood is hugely erratic, I know I drink to numb my chaotic mind, I got anxious on holiday away from the routine of my small and mundane yet quite fortunate life.

Some days I feel content if a little bored with my life and others I feel I'm going through the motions wondering if "this is it". I question my relationship with dh all the time and I find being a SAHM doesn't feed my mind or my soul.

As most of you know I cannot work due to my Crohn's disease and I keep thinking of doing a course or voluntary work but I'm ashamed to say I've lost my confidence. I previously had a great, dynamic career which fulfilled my craving to be liked and feel special, this is defiinately a throw back from being an adored only child. I'm feeling fat, irrelevant and the wrong side of 40 and I guess wine makes us all feel special if only for a while.

My big girl is 16 and my little one is 4 and starting school so things are about to change and I'm peri menopausal so maybe it's all just hormones and too much time to think. The thing is living with depression you never really know if your feelings are real or just a manifestation of depressive emotions,

I'm sorry for prattling on, just thinking out loud....,

Despite all of the above mumbo jumbo there is no doubt that being sober may not solve all my problems but believe me It defiinately doesn't help, being sober is hard because you see your life laid bare, your relationships and your friendships and I believe that if our lives were all that brilliant we wouldn't be guzzling wine in the first place.

Sobriety is our own personal truth, not always easy but nothing worth doing ever is!!!!!

I'm going to Italy on Sunday and I'm terrified, I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope, drink has robbed me of the excitement and anticipation a holiday should bring and that I do not trust myself therefore do not believe in myself makes me very cross with myself indeed.

Keep on keeping on my friends xxx

Sorry everyone I meant to say DRINK doesn't help, not being sober doesn't help!!!!!!!!! Xxx

Hi everyone,
Firstly a hug for you Babyjane. I don't know your background yet so not sure what to say or add. Have you seen anyone about your erratic moods? Am wondering if drinking is a symptom of something else, and is helping to block out whatever the real issue / issues is...?

I have a mild hangover today and woke up pissed off with myself. We have been trying to move to a bigger house now for over a year and everything keeps collapsing, estate agents are proving a bunch of idiots and I am sick of it. Sick of the feeling of not knowing what's going on, and then of things going tits up again. Hence, last night, looking at houses (trying to find a Plan B to the house we want just in case) I drank a bottle of wine. This was after quaffing two and a half pints of beer at lunchtime in the pub. Not great.
DH is away this week so I am going to try and be completely dry. I'd managed to cut back a lot last week, still probably too much but less than I'd normally drink, and then ruined it last night. So, I'm going to try and make up for it this week so I can feel more in control again.

An honest post as always baby
Is there any work you can do from home?

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I am currently holed up in a cottage that has seen better days since we first stayed here in 2011.

It's FREEZING COLD. WET. BLOWING A HOOLEY. AND UTTERLY SHITE.

Like thousands of others in the UK, this is our annual holiday.

Nemo is loving it because DH and DD are making it fab for him.

I, on the other hand, am in absolute agony. I've a hard lump on the back of my knee the size of a golf ball.

I'm supposed to be having an emergency ultrasound, 4 weeks ago. My x-rays came back as "inconclusive - no further action needed"

Back to the GP I went and begged him to sort something out. I ended up calling the ultrasound dept myself.

So, here I am, sat in a freezing cold, sporadically heated by a decrepit heating system, cottage, full of damp which helps my arthritis no end

There are swathes of thick fog, rolling across the front of the sea outside......

I would give anything to go home. The pain is unbearable because of this shitty weather. At least at home, I could control my pain, keep us all warm.... as it is, we're all going to bed.

At this time.

Simply to try to keep warm.

I. Want. To. Go. Home.

We've had the shittest of times, saved sand saved for this week, and it's such a let down.

It was DH's birthday, and our Wedding Anniversary is in 2 days and I could cry.........

So much money, wasted.

Sorry to just post after not being here, but I'm also drinking because I'm so utterly fucked off, round and round and round it goes.... I know alcohol is a depressant .... Jeez, I have been on these threads since the start.

Tonight, I just don't care.

I'm sorry, Mouse will be back soon..... I promise, as soon as I get my meds refilled, my home comforts and my head out of my arse for my family, if no-one else, I'll be here again.

xxx

Oh mouse that sounds so rubbish! It's not wasted if nemo is having fun and you are all together.
Hopefully it will be better tomorrow.

Aww mouse you poor thing, I hope you manage to get your pain meds soon

And for all my positive attempts this week, dh is away for the next ten nights. I swore to myself I wouldn't drink. I had a great day with the dc's so stopped by the shop in the way home, treated them to an ice cream each. And a bottle of the Grigio for myself. ( to celebrate? ) Old habits die hard. Disappointed in myself for not managing a week

Night all. Here's to a better tomorrow x

Mouse sending you love and hugs. I really hope that at least the weather improves.

Good Morning all Brave Babes

Gromit today is a new day I totally understand 'the Reward syndrome' many of us can relate to it. Why not get something savoury or sweet that is just for you and a lovely thirst quenching drink for later on. When you treat your DC you then have something just for you. Kick that WW to seventh heaven, go on you know you can do it and you'll feel so much better tomorrow morning. It's worth a try

Ma I hope that work went ok yesterday, what did the board say? Have a good day lovely one x

Mouse sounds like a nightmare holiday I can only advise to make the most of it (sorry not very helpful) hang in there princess you'll be home before you know it

Baby darling, I am totally with you on the mood front, I feel exactly the same. A sober life is not an easy one, everything is so flicking raw. Italy, right, it is already on your mind, ask yourself, how would you like it to be and start imagining it just like that. Difficult as it's the country of wine and food (note the order that I came out with that) As Venus wisely says plan ahead. Decide what your distractions are going to be, will it be taking photographs, will it be going online to Gerald, will it be helping prepare the food, will it be buying a history book about the area and learning more from the locals, will it be painting your nails every other day, you get the picture. Please try not to be anxious, try and enjoy a relaxing break with your family I know all of this is easier said than done. Keep your head high, smile that lovely smile and think thoughts that you know make you happy

Big love to all I've just seen the time and I'm not even dressed Have a good day everyone x

Morning babes, Mouse hope you are feeling a bit better this morning x

Spanna, I love your little tips to Baby about Italy, I wish I was going there as well. It is definitely one for my bucket list.

Waves to all other babes - some sunshine here this morning after 2 days of non-stop rain.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Thankyou for your kind words Babes. We're going out to Caernarfon castle in the pissing down rain and fog soon. I can't wait

My pain levels are through the roof and I've had no sleep because of the heating coming on and off all night. We can't control it.....

It's a good job you're all here for me to read about, so I know that this very petulant and selfish version of me is not the normal Mouse

By that, I mean you all distract me and make me wonder how I can help you all...... Thank you. Just by reading this is helpful but even Nemo wants to go home now. He loves the beach. All we would like is just one day. One dry day when we are able to take him there xxx

Morning Mouse, praying for a sunny day for you and Nemo xx

Evening babes. Just checking in. Sending you all enormous big hugs. Sorry I can't nc - in the bath on the phone! mouse I hope the weather cheers up. I'm sorry you're in such pain.
Take care of yourselves babes. You're all so special and mad and wonderful. Xxx

Checking in. Board want full cash flow projections etc. Lovely boss and I spent 6 hours on it today - he came in especially because I am shite with spreadsheets and figures. Have sent it all to the Board tonight. Now we wait.
I really wanted to ger chocolate tonight but knew if I went to the shop I would buy more wine so I didn't go. I will, however, probably drink what's left in the house.

Hi babes,

First of all huge thanks to nancery for that lovely hug, I needed it. Xxx

ma also thanks for the idea of working from home, I've been looking into it and will keep researching it when the wee one starts school. Xxx

spanna you are a angel, your so lovely and kind and thank you for your thoughtful and very useful ideas, you a very dear friend to me xxx

mouse I so hope the weather picks up, Britain is such a stunning place to be in the sunshine but horribly bleak in the conditions you describe. You so deserve the sun to shine down on your aching bones and joints, I'm sending a big Scottish hug to keep you warm and loved xxxx

Infact hugs for all and please come back faire, khalisi and wry, we need you back xxxxx