I've just cancelled our wedding

[Chuckitinthefuckitbucket]

I'm devestated. Move posted before, about my dps in laws & tbh I Can't marry in to it.
Dp has been working a second jinx
He can't afford to pay for any of it still, he just can't raise enough money between now and November and was on about chipping away from the equity in the house. My inheritance from my father.
Thing is, I've already paid 23k worth of his debt off.
Paid for the house.
Paid for the furniture.
His 12k car.
Everything
Everything
And I refuse to pay any more.
I've paid entirely for the wedding and just wanted him to contribute that last bit.
I'm hurting so much right now
I just want to leave
I have dd down stairs crying because we've argued and I just can't hold myself together any more
I'm so upset
I wish I didn't have to cancle. I'm so embarrassed to tell everyone.
Please someone just help me realise I've done the right thing

Even if he rocks up with every penny he needs to pay his share of the wedding, in cash, tomorrow, you should stick to your guns. He'd probably have borrowed it anyway.
The only thing he can do to salvage this relationship is to grow up and take responsibility for his own mess and to do so for an extended period of time.

He's worried about losing his cash pipeline.

Definitely this. You've sunk a fortune into this idiot (a 12 grand car on top of a 23K loan? WHY?) but you know what your dad would want far more than you to still have all of your inheritance? For you to be happy and feel valued and respected by your partner in life. That said, your dad wouldn't want you wasting any more money on this loser any more than he would want you wasting any more of your life, your loyalty or your affection.

You need to tell people, it's the only way to counteract his version that he's putting out there.

Throwing his toys out of the pram because the goose won't be laying any more golden eggs for him.

O honey, however did you come to be taken in by this cocklodging twunt? Of course you've done the right thing in cancelling the wedding but you now need to make sure that your dm and other relatives know why you've called it off by naming and shaming the freeloading arsehole who's fleeced you right left and centre.

Please don't hesitate to call the police and have him removed if he turns his anger onto you

OP you were so right to call this wedding off! If I were a friend I'd be shouting it from the rooftops "She's seen the light!!".

Don't get all tied up in what you've paid for, or done for him. That was then, this is now. You're well out and you know it, down to your soul.

Things will get brighter as you see more and more what a good decision this was!

I want to echo everything other MNers have said. You are a braver woman than me.
To recap: He's a sponger. A kept man. A user. He's raging because he's being cut off.
I think he wants to present an image of himself which he has neither contributed to or has any intention of doing so.
Your Dad's money was meant for you and your family not to bail out your man.
There can never be any trust in this relationship. You had a lucky escape.
Is there anyone within your family you can talk to for support?
Chuck him out lovey, get out there and get to know people. Form friendships, grow ever stronger. Eventually get a man who loves, respects, and worships you. I wish you the world.

What Ethel says! I'd only add to get to a solicitor asap to verify about the house and see if there's any way to recoup any of the money you've spent on him (probably not, though). Assume you're living together, ask about what you'd need to do to get him out if he's still there.

Call the wedding vendors and re-cancel everything. Tell them that as you were the one who paid for it, that they are to take 'orders' from you and only from you.

Cancel the wedding

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape !

If someone loves you, you dont need a lavish wedding, just something very personal

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3142638/I-lost-160-000-lonely-hearts-fraudster-Britain-s-oldest-time-mother-57-gave-cash-man-met-online-thinking-invested-daughter-s-future.html

Sorry that you are sad but really, you have done the right thing. He sounds like an unfaithful man-child.

Does he work at all? Why has he not been able to financially contribute to the relationship?

When you cancel tell them you will not be liable for any further costs incurred if they do anything he asks.

You might want to check your credit rating too.

Bastard!

Oh you poor, poor thing, what an arse your stbxdp is. Listen, I think what'll make it real is to tell people. Let everyone know what a fucker he is, then you will have an extra reason not to go back, support and hopefully some encouragement to get rid of him. It doesn't matter what's happened to to this point, the ONLY Thing that matters now is that you're making the right choice now. Well done you and I wish you happiness and joy in your future without this loser

Well done for seeing the light[ flowers]

Tell him that the only way you are prepared to stay with him is if the house is put into your name only.

Anything else is a fucking LIE. You've done it all. It belongs to you and if this relationship is to have any honesty, you want him to put his money where his mouth is and at least acknowledge that so far, he's done fuck all. Worse, he's sponged like a mutha.

House in your name.

And then dump the gutless, using little shit.

It's a brave decision but I bet it's a weight off your shoulders. I'll bet when you start to tell people, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how supportive they are.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Enjoy!

OP I was in a very similar situation but unfortunately believed his stories and promises and got married. I thought I was enabling him to clear his debts so we could build a debt free future. He thought I was a cash point.

I went through several years of bailing him out and his debts never reduced and the promises of contributing to the household costs never came to anything as there was always some vaguely plausible reason why it wasn't forthcoming.

When I eventually came to my senses and stopped being a cash point he left. I can't tell you how much I wish I'd done what you've done. It would have saved so much pain for me and dd, let alone how much more secure she and I would be financially.

Good luck, be strong. Things will get so much better and you'll never regret it.

Cut your losses now... I'm certain that your friends and family will be secretly relieved that you have seen the light.
The divorce could cost you a whole lot more.
My heart really goes out to you .

You've done the right thing. Could you tell your suppliers a password? Unless the person they're speaking with knows that, no changes are to be made.

Do you still have to live with him? How quickly can you separate?

Yy to posters saying call his bluff. Tell him to letyou sell the car, sign the house over to you and then you'll talk about the wedding not.

Mum was meant to be over today. But my sister spent the evening in hospital- she's heavily pregnant with her 3rd baby and is showing signs she may go into labour soon. Mum is staying at hers.
I can't do this right now, to my family etc. Such awful timing

Darling yes you can. You can do this. You are strong and determined and you're a wonderful mum.

I remember your last thread. This guy is an utter shit stain.

Talk to us on here xx

I don't mean to upset you, but what would your dad tell you to do? Do you honestly think he would want his little girl to stick with a leech like this arsehole?

just get it all out on here then. you are definitely doing the right thing.