With our 1st child, we had problems; MIL came to the hospital, during delivery, uninvited. And then turned up the next night, our first at home, when we'd asked her to stay in a hotel (saying that of course she'd be with us for later visits; we welcome her all the time). I got distressed at her being there. She's a v bad guest. DH took her side: she must stay; how dare I make her unwelcome, etc. He wouldn't speak to me for days...
So, due again very soon. (More fool me, you might say, but MIL conflict is our only real marital problem, so i'm prepared to work at it.) My parents have now moved locally. To take the pressure off, they offer for her to stay with them, to help entertain 1st grandchild if we're at hospital etc. I pass this on. She's hurt & angry: 'No, I won't come if I can't stay here; i'm not excited this time anyway', etc. DH, despite helping come up with the plan in advance, sees her reaction and again says I've been cruel to her and is barely speaking to me. I don't want to say 'stay here' but, equally, around the birth, I won't be able to deal with the stress of DH being an arse because he's feeling sore about his mum so wonder about the path of least resistance. Any wise words?