Torn over leaving my bi-polar partner who I have a 1 year old DD with...

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My DD is 1 year old. During my pregnancy and the whole last year her Dad & I have been having very regular blow-ups - recently involving physical aggression from him towards me. He is slightly hypomanic and un-medicated bi-polar at the moment. He is aware of it but doesn't really manage it in that he doesn't see the mania coming and adjust his lifestyle accordingly to try and head it off and avoid drugs or stimulus etc...
He went away on a stag weekend recently and took drugs & didn't sleep & our baby wasn't sleeping either so we were both just frazzled (him self inflicted so no sympathy there) so we ended up having a big misunderstandng / crossed words in the early hours of the morning whilst our baby was crying & he couldn't handle it and took his aggression out on me. That was kind of the last straw for me...I thought..But it's complicated. His Mum talked me down from leaving because she convinced me that we were both just driven insane by the sleep deprivation as our DD hadn't been sleeping well for months.

I am still feeling awful about our relationship though..I'm not sure it's fixable...I feel too much damage has been done & I'm afraid I don't love him anymore. But in some ways I really do. It really is like loving two different people in the same man sometimes. It's not just a case of "Oh he's a dickhead, leave". He is capable of all within the same day being the biggest twat & also lovely ??!?!
I think though it might be the hardest thing ever but maybe better in the long run to separate. Devastated at the thought of it though because it is SO not what I wanted for us or our DD. I am completely torn over what I should do....on one hand I feel like my patience has completely run out & that he has said and done too many horrible things to me. I was trying to be patient as there was always an excuse like "he's stressed" "we haven't been sleeping because of the baby" "it's normal to argue when you have a new baby" "maybe it's my hormones" "maybe I've got post-natal depression" etc etc. But on the other hand when things are good they are really good and we really do have a great time together & with our baby...we are a great team and great parents to her even if we do disagree on some fundamental issues ie smoking...
I know that when this manic phase passes he will be really down and really really sad to have lost me and my DD who he absolutely adores and is the best most present Dad to.....And I will feel horribly guilty for making a big decision whilst he is manic and not just being more patient or more understanding. But I feel like I'm giving all my patience to our baby and I don't have any left for him anymore...I feel like I can't go on in a relationship where I get little to no emotional support or understanding and yet am expected to GIVE so much to him. He won't take medication...which I kind of respect as he is low on the bi-polar spectrum if you know what I mean...he doesn't do crazy crazy things when manic except erratic driving, erratic moods and temper, very poor reaction to stress, loses focus on work and gets distracted with different projects and seeing loads of different people, drinks more, smokes more etc. And is just harder to live with and exhausting for me. We also argue a lot anyway and it's worse when he's manic. He becomes snappy and defensive about any tiny thing, especially if I'm perceived to be trying to curtail his fun like suggest maybe he doesn't go to this party or that party or suggest maybe he gets a good amount of sleep tonight or suggest maybe that a certain business idea is maybe a bit risky etc.

I am also just scared and totally unsure what to do to actually separate from him. We are currently having couples therapy with a really good therapist and are 2 sessions in....but I really feel I wish I was living separately to him and in a way I wish we could have a fresh start and spend some time apart to take the pressure off and get to know each other again & see if there's anything left. I need him to try and manage his illness better though & through therapy I am trying to make him see this. He says he wants & needs boundaries & structure & to be grounded by me but he resents me when I do impose boundaries and structure! On one hand he is very aware of his illness but he is not aware of the effect it is having on our relationship & how he needs to make some changes FOR GOOD if he wants to manage this without medication ie. not taking drugs on stag weekends. He is so stuck in his ways and 15 years older than me that I worry he doesn't want to and can't change, even when his relationship & daughter is on the line.

I don't want to disrupt my DD too much and I don't have any bloody money unfortunately as I have been at home with my DD for the last year, breastfeeding still...and have no savings or anything. I guess I could get housing benefit but I fear it'd be hard to find a decent place with a landlord that takes housing benefit in this area of London. I could move down the to the countryside to be closer to my family (they don't have anywhere for me to stay unfortunately) BUT I want my DD to be close to her Dad and see him all the time....I don't want to take her away from him and my MIL as they are so close.

Any advice about all of it would be SO appreciated. Thanks.

This guy

Takes drugs
Drinks alcohol
Goes to stag parties & festivals
Is violent
Cannot control his moods
Makes pathetic excuses for his selfish behaviour
He is self centred & attention seeking

This is not a good father or role model

If he really wanted to be with you & the baby he would move heaven & earth to be with you

Make yourself a new life & start again

Anybody who was following this thread before...just an update... We are now officially separated and have been for about 3 weeks. He has moved out to live with his Mum but still comes over quite often to see DD. He will either come in the morning and give her breakfast & look after her whilst I have a lie-in/have shower/get ready for the day. Which is great. He has had her on his own for a few hours whilst I have done a half day of work twice as well. I have decided I have to do some work now that I'm going to be a single mum I need extra £. He is being Mr. Best Dad In World and super nice and thoughtful and respectful and keeps saying he just wants me to feel really comfortable with everything and that he going to adhere to my ground rules ie. no getting stoned when he has to look after her, no smoking around her, no drinking a couple of beers at a BBQ with her and then driving her home. We are also making these rules more concrete in therapy. And we have had a therapy session discussing the separation and our therapist suggested that he would benefit from Group Therapy..I think he has agreed to go. But I am waiting until me and DD have moved into our new place (It is ready end of Sept) until I tell him that him going to Group Therapy has to be a condition of him having access to seeing DD. I don't want to mention it now & then he makes things really difficult with us living in his house, or he stops giving me £, because my income support & housing benefit hasn't come through yet. But I feel like because he was violent with me, for me to trust him to have her on his own for a whole day or over night...he needs to be regularly going to therapy or showing serious commitment and willingness to working on his temper, his moods, his addiction to weed etc. I have already told him that I don't want her to regularly stay over night at his until she is a bit older say 3 or 4 years old. Because it's not good for such a small child in my opinion to be shuttled between 2 houses if they don't need to..I will live 10 mins down road so he can come and see her there and she will stay over night with me all the time.

He is being super nice though and saying he will help me with whatever £ I need to get set up..he will pay what rent the housing benefit doesn't cover...because he wants us to live near him. He is saying he will babysit for me whenever I want to go out and see my friends or go to a fitness class or whatever. He is still calling me baby and making me cups of tea and bringing them into me as I'm having a lie-in like he used to do when we were together....I am literally having to have serious words with myself every day as I keep doubting my judgement and my decision. Sometimes I think...am I making a big deal of everything? Am I more to blame than I realise for why we got to this bad place in our relationship? Should I have just dealt with everything better. I feel guilty for breaking up our family. Even though I know HE broke up our family with his actions, and his failure to apologise properly or commit to that behaviour never happening again. I don't know why he is being so bloody nice I wish he could have been like this a few months ago when our relationship was on the line!! Why couldn't he just control himself and handle his shit & not have lashed out at me?? It's so hard seeing him all the time. I don't know how to do this and get over this. I'm trying really hard to get perspective and tell myself what he did and remind myself how mean and cold and un-apologetic he was. In therapy this was confirmed when I spoke about the incident again and he said "What? Well, yeah I just moved you onto a soft bed" ..... yeah...right..I weigh 11 stone...he would have had to use a LOT of force to move me if I didn't want him to, which I didn't - I resisted - and I said 'Get off me! Get off me!'. Then when he came back I was sitting on the end of the bed crying and he told me to move, I said no, and so he bent down, grabbed me and threw me again over onto my side of the bed !! He can hardly say that was 'moving me' - I was already on the bed at that point ! It wasn't a one off/mistake. And surely if it was a mistake & he was truly sick with himself for doing it, he would have begged for my forgiveness and said sorry properly and promised it would never happen again but he did none of this. I could tell my therapist was pleased we had broken up.....He is completely in denial about what he's done & who he is. He's just trying to be the perfect Dad or maybe to try and make me think it was MY fault that he was aggressive and angry and he's trying to make me want him back and 'see' how nice he is or how nice he THINKS he is.
Anyway...Things are ok...I'm just hurting. He's still saying he doesn't subscribe to my view of why the relationship ended and that it was both of us, that we're just not compatible and that I had my part to play in it' It probably suits him better this way..he still gets to see his DD and he just doesn't have to deal with a relationship and he can carry on his life as before....except he gets to see a cute kid all the time and cuddle her & call her his own. Splendid ! I've given him the best thing in the world - a beautiful daughter - and he's left me on my own...questioning my own sanity and judgement and terrified about my future. Part of me is trying to be positive and imagine my new life & escape into my head and project that positive future so it will manifest. But then some days I feel so alone, and sad and that I've failed. I feel ashamed and worried and like I just want to get away from him and his Mum completely & the whole fucked up situation. I hate that he's getting no consequences for what he's done, or so it seems. He assures me that is he hurting and he is sad, but he seems fine and like he's accepted it all too easily.
Anyway sorry for long post but that is the update ! Been reading all your responses to help me keep perspective and stay strong.

Fantastic news! You and your daughter will thrive outside of this toxic relationship. A word of caution however, Mr Nice will probably turn into Mr Nasty when you don't respond as expected change your mind.

Keep strong and remember, your have parental responsibility for the child you gave birth to, not this entitled manchild.

Well done op you are being very strong. The doubts and wavering are normal, you need to put in some boundaries to make it feel less like when he lived there (no coming in to your bedroom for eg) but that will get easier when you move to a place where he never lived with you.
If I were you I would also be saying that he needs to see the GP about his mental health if he's going to have dd for long periods alone.