My BF has been in prison...

[Stubborn9ts]

(sorry if this is long)
My BF of 4 Months has recently told me that when he was a teenager he went to prison for several years for rape against a 19 year old! this happened whilst he was in the Army. He is now 30. He was given a life sentence not so much for the crime itself(even though very serious) but due to a inaccurate pre-sentence report by a psychiatrist, this has since been ruled inadmissible by the courts. He had a number of trials that were dismissed or stopped for various legal reasons.

He says he never did it and was pressured into pleading guilty by his legal team to avoid a life sentence, which he still got!!, He says he pleaded guilty out of fear as he was scared and wasn't able to get his solicitor to do his job so had to cut his losses and go in to damage limitation mode. He had to continue pretending to admit and show remorse for this throughout his prison sentence to get his release. It seems that his legal aid solicitor didn't do much work on the case or go through with the forensic testing he should have done. He has tried recently to get advice - unsuccessfully with a barrister to withdraw his guilty plea.
My BF has a DNA report that shows he is not the person responsible but due to the court of appeal rules this was deemed as available at the trial and can not now be used in appeals. His solicitor never told him about this report! He cannot afford any more legal challenges, financially or emotionally.

He is now on licence in the community and has to carry on as if he did it, as he fears that if he tells probation/police the truth and launches any sort of appeal they might recall him back to prison on a life sentence. His family and small circle of friends are all open and honest about this and very supportive of him. He has moved on and now runs his own successful metal business. It has taken its toll on him, he is cautious in trusting people now and it has left him slightly suspicious of people.

As a result he is automatically on Sex Offenders Register and he has to tell partners about his past, something to do with public protection it seems and something called MAPPA????
I have met his police liason officer who confirmed that i knew why he had been in prison, the police bloke tbh just asked if i knew and didnt go into much depth. Again they just accept he did it as he pleaded guilty without asking themselves if there is more to this or not. He sees probation once a month for all of ten minutes at most, they leave him alone as hes not considered a high risk.

The issue though is on the one hand this very intelligent, thoughtful, nice, quite guy has been to prison for a very serious crime, yet i actually really love him, Some of my friends think i am mad for staying with him. But at the same time he has never hurt me, treated me badly or done anything to cause me to worry. Long term i think we have a future.

What do others make of this? Has anybody else experience of a situation when they find out that a BF has a serious criminal record or been to prison for a sex offence?

This all sounds very familiar. Was there an article about your bf in either the Guardian, the Independent or Observer, a while back? The bit about dna evidence being available but withheld until after the trial, and therefore being inadmissible at appeal is ringing very loud bells. If it is him, there is a lot of judging and jumping to conclusions going on. Miscarriages of justice can and do happen.

Stubborn do you or do you not have have children, and are you already pg by him? Please answer the question.

Step back OP and think about why your self-esteem is so low and you are so desperate to be in a relationship that you are willing to believe a convicted violent man who raped a girl at knifepoint is innocent...

Since you refuse to answer the question that many have already asked, I can only assume that you are too embarrassed to admit to us that yes you have children that you are wilfully exposing to him.

Shame on you. If you can't have any self-respect, at least have some respect for your current or future children and end this nonsense FFS.

I worked in the prison system for nearly 20 years.

To get a life sentence for rape means he either had previous similar history for sex offences/violence or there was certain circumstances to warrant a life sentence.

You BF is doing a classic case of 'minimising'. Why plead guilty for something you strenuously deny, I'd be jumping up and down if I was not guilty.

Don't get me wrong, there are innocent people in jail, but they are few and far between.

I'd be wanting to see evidence of his appeals, court papers etc if I was to believe a word he said.

My advice, run as far as you can, but only you can make that decision.

I'm all for second chances but his 'minimising' doesn't add up to me!

I feel very sad for you OP. You are worth much more than to be with someone who has been convicted of such a disgusting crime. Please seek some professional help for things like self-esteem and relationships. I'm sure you will look back on this relationship with horror.

In my opinion, he doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with a woman when he has shown he is capable of such vitriol and hatred towards women. Equally, no woman should have to put up with being in a relationship with someone like him.

cant believe some of the replies on here given none of you have seen the paperwork, no one went to court, no one knows the person, no one has spoken to his barrister or parole officer yet you all seem to know best. you all deserve a

Generally I would say I Am pretty liberal and think everyone deserves a second chance. But this story makes me very uneasy. This was an aggravated rape. I only know Scotland well and don't know where you are, but here you need two sources of evidence at least to prove guilt. The evidence must be strong enough to convince a jury beyond reasonable doubt. A reasonable doubt is one that would cause you to pause in a decision you might make in your everyday life. To my mind if he was known to the victim and she said it was not him then that is more than enough to plant the seeds of reasonable doubt. Not to mention you said the DNA was not semen, but hair in the communal living area where he lived. More doubt. Having blood on his shoes would not be nearly enough evidence. There must be more to it.

Normally I wouldn't reply to a thread like this, I would roll my eyes at the people demanding you leave a man without knowing your whole circumstance. I have never said this before, but something is wrong here- leave the bastard.

One more question has he been to the Criminal Case Review Commision.

If he hasn't he hasn't exhausted all his appeals process and he's feeding you a load of BS.

It doesn't matter what anyone has said, you clearly believe him so you'll soon learn what being with someone on a life licence is like

Peggy we aren't talking about a serial shoplifter saying he is reformed.

Benefit of the doubt is fine, unless we are talking about a violent rapist, which we are.

Peggy the information we do have is that this man was convicted

Not only was he convicted, but he pled guilty.

That's all the information we really need to know, in spite of the web of lies he is now subsequently spinning the OP.

I agree with nowt if there was loads of evidence available to prove his innocence then I would imagine there would be friends and family raising money and fighting tooth and nail to help clear his name, and humN rights lawyers preapred to take on his case. It seems odd that he's prepared to just roll over and accept the verdict yet still vehemently profess his innocence, especially given that there is apparently strong evidence that would clear him. Something doesn't add up.

What worries me is not that he might have done it but that if he did he has learnt nothing from his eight year sentence and is still totally in denial and able to lie to trick you into believing he is innocent.

In which case the psychologist would have been right - no remorse, no conscience, ie total fucking psycho.

He hasn't had time to treat you badly yet. You've been with him for four months. He'll be lovely and qu iet and kind for aaaages yet.

One day, you'll realise that you've been walking on eggshells around him for a long long time, your children try too hard to please him because they're afraid of him, so do you. One day you will wake up and wish with all your heart that you'd made a different choice early on, like when you'd only known him about 4 months, before everything changed........

Please go. Please.

Please call his ex-Commanding Officer. Ask him what happened. Ask him who were his friends and talk to them too.

Personally I'm a great believer in Occam's Razor. The more complicated the story gets the less it appears to hold water. In any case, consider what is the worst result if she no longer dates this man. She will be sad for a while and then will no doubt meet someone else (as, indeed, might he). The consequences of sticking with him if she's wrong, though, could be pretty dire. Why risk it? There's a load more to life than four months' worth of love, and a load of nice men around who haven't been convicted of violent offences, whether fairly or otherwise.

I suspect OP is in love with the idea of standing by the noble victim of a miscarriage of justice as much as with the man himself, but that may be completely unfair.

Op I'm not going to reiterate what more eloquent posters than I have, already said.

You can ignore what everyone says but I would bet my house that you have a niggle/a feeling in your stomach and that's why you have posted for validation.

Ignore everyone if you wish but don't ignore your gut instinct

Run.

A knife was involved.
Her blood was found on him.
There was 2 trials before the 3rd where he pled guilty. Solicitor adviced him to plead, based on evidence, not for an easy life.
Dna evidence appeared after he was
Convicted but cannot be used in his appeal.

He got life. Life isn't handed out easily. Life isn't handed out with enough compelling evidence.

His solicitor told him to plead so he would get less and to save the victim to relive it a third time.

Run.

He is a violent sex offender who will be on radars.. Don't be so foolish to think police don't care... There are possibly some nervous people dreading the day your address/phone number makes a call.

IF he was innocent the dna could be used... IF there was enough evidence that he was innocent he
Could appeal..

If you have children, there is a strong possibility that they will be removed.. SS will not take the chance that he would not be violent with them in the house.. He might not have a liking for children, but he has shown that he his dangerously violent towards adult females..

solicitor said he will be found guilty regardless of case he puts up as the emotional and seriousness of it wll turn jury against him

Not true.

No defence solicitor would say that unless there was evidence against him.

Jury will not convict without evidence.

It would not even get to trial without evidence.

OP you are saying that the victim said it wasn't him. Why would a jury convict if even the victim denied he did anything.

He is telling you lies.

Can I ask, how old are you?

I'm sure his,family do think he's wonderful. The mother of the man who attacked me doesn't think he did it, despite dna being all over me and the fingerprints on the knife. She even spat on me in the street and called me a whore...while I was walking with my toddler. Because they think they know him and the image he gives out is that I was lying and it was consensual and obviously having a knife put to my throat and his teeth sunk into my face is part of normal sex.

You need to open your fucking eyes op!!

Op might I suggest you post in legal matters so your getting an impartial legal opinion on what he is telling you

I think this thread is incredibly distasteful, especially OPs post of 15.48.

Quoting verbatim from a rape trial to protest the innocence of your "BF" of four months? For fucks sake. You should be ashamed and I think the thread should be pulled.

ludovica I remember that thread!

So, who was the rapist, OP?

Pony, a big boy did it and then ran away.

Op you are clearly living up to your user name and are determined not to listen to the vast and overwhelming response here.

You will, I truly believe, live to regret that.

Wake up. Listen. Use your brain.

And no, you don't "truly love him" after 4 months. You barely know him