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Original poster

My BF has been in prison...

260 replies

Stubborn9ts · 29/06/2015 15:06

(sorry if this is long)
My BF of 4 Months has recently told me that when he was a teenager he went to prison for several years for rape against a 19 year old! this happened whilst he was in the Army. He is now 30. He was given a life sentence not so much for the crime itself(even though very serious) but due to a inaccurate pre-sentence report by a psychiatrist, this has since been ruled inadmissible by the courts. He had a number of trials that were dismissed or stopped for various legal reasons.

He says he never did it and was pressured into pleading guilty by his legal team to avoid a life sentence, which he still got!!, He says he pleaded guilty out of fear as he was scared and wasn't able to get his solicitor to do his job so had to cut his losses and go in to damage limitation mode. He had to continue pretending to admit and show remorse for this throughout his prison sentence to get his release. It seems that his legal aid solicitor didn't do much work on the case or go through with the forensic testing he should have done. He has tried recently to get advice - unsuccessfully with a barrister to withdraw his guilty plea.
My BF has a DNA report that shows he is not the person responsible but due to the court of appeal rules this was deemed as available at the trial and can not now be used in appeals. His solicitor never told him about this report! He cannot afford any more legal challenges, financially or emotionally.

He is now on licence in the community and has to carry on as if he did it, as he fears that if he tells probation/police the truth and launches any sort of appeal they might recall him back to prison on a life sentence. His family and small circle of friends are all open and honest about this and very supportive of him. He has moved on and now runs his own successful metal business. It has taken its toll on him, he is cautious in trusting people now and it has left him slightly suspicious of people.

As a result he is automatically on Sex Offenders Register and he has to tell partners about his past, something to do with public protection it seems and something called MAPPA????
I have met his police liason officer who confirmed that i knew why he had been in prison, the police bloke tbh just asked if i knew and didnt go into much depth. Again they just accept he did it as he pleaded guilty without asking themselves if there is more to this or not. He sees probation once a month for all of ten minutes at most, they leave him alone as hes not considered a high risk.

The issue though is on the one hand this very intelligent, thoughtful, nice, quite guy has been to prison for a very serious crime, yet i actually really love him, Some of my friends think i am mad for staying with him. But at the same time he has never hurt me, treated me badly or done anything to cause me to worry. Long term i think we have a future.

What do others make of this? Has anybody else experience of a situation when they find out that a BF has a serious criminal record or been to prison for a sex offence?

OP posts:
SophieJenkins · 30/06/2015 17:04

Quint I understand that. I think I've expressed myself poorly and been misunderstood.

I meant that it was too soon to be saying she loves him. that was my point. And that she shouldn't be putting those feelings over and above a sound knowledge of him as a person, from all angles, because it isn't logical or safe to do so.

I think we are on the same side here.

The OP says she has known him for two years already but presumably this information didn't come out during that time, so my advice to know a person for at least a year is pretty flawed.

I wouldn't stay with a guy like this and I hope she doesn't, but my advice was meant to be more general. I think she simply doesn't know who to believe.

Twinklestein · 30/06/2015 17:10

There are two different conviction rate figures:

  1. % of all prosecuted cases that end in conviction;
  2. % of all cases reported to the police that end in conviction.

The reason for the latter is that rape has a remarkably high attrition rate from report to court.

Hairylegs007 · 30/06/2015 17:12

OP have you put his name and the word sex offender through google. You might need to add the city name too if he's Mr smith!

ShebaShimmyShake · 30/06/2015 17:19

Court records are open and public documents. Ring up the records office of the crown court where he was tried and request them. Then you can go through them and see for yourself.

Personally, I think this stinks. I do not believe for one second that conclusive DNA proof (which is what, exactly? Someone else's sperm inside the victim? All that proves is that she had sex with someone else at some point) of his innocence and someone else's guilt would be withheld from the court, or ruled inadmissible. Rape convictions are extremely low, so while miscarriages of justice do indeed happen, a rape conviction generally has to rest on pretty compelling evidence.

I am not a lawyer, but it would be worth asking one if it's possible to recall someone back to prison based purely on the fact that they attempted an appeal against their sentence. This sounds highly unlikely to me.

There's something he's not telling you.

ShebaShimmyShake · 30/06/2015 17:20

I meant 'sentenced' - there would be no trial if he pleaded guilty but after entering his guilty plea at magistrates' court it would have moved to crown court for sentencing as an indictable offence.

QuintShhhhhh · 30/06/2015 17:36

Get what you meant now Sophie!

SophieJenkins · 30/06/2015 17:38

Ah phew Smile

GirlInterupted · 30/06/2015 17:59

God I hope there are no kids involved. They will end up in care. I could never believe that women stood by men like this but my neighbour has just had all her children removed by ss because she refuses to leave an abusive man

BitOutOfPractice · 30/06/2015 18:24

I still disagree. I would not want a violet convicted rapist in my life in any capacity. Not just in a relationship. I would cut them out entirely.

But I agree with you that it seems pretty odd that she says she's known him for two years yet never knew he was a convicted rapist with a life sentence and 8 years in jail

Lucy61 · 30/06/2015 18:29

Not sure op is still on this thread. Do you think she got the message that it's a BAD IDEA!

BreadmakerFan · 30/06/2015 18:37

No.

TummyButtonFluff · 30/06/2015 19:09

Have been away from thread and disappointed to see it's still here. Was hoping a hairy hander not someone seriously considering this.

Also hope it's not a man with a rape conviction trying to pull a story together (far fetched, I know).

firesidechat · 30/06/2015 19:34

I'm worried for the same reasons Tummy. It has been reported, so I haven't bothered myself. I don't suppose the op will be back now, whoever they are.

DoTheDuckFace · 30/06/2015 20:06

Sorry OP but you need to leave this man.

SophieJenkins · 30/06/2015 21:00

I still disagree. I would not want a violet convicted rapist in my life in any capacity. Not just in a relationship. I would cut them out entirely.

Me also. It would be unthinkable.

Twinklestein · 30/06/2015 21:01

If the OP was a bloke they would have come back to argue the toss ad nauseam.

MrsDeVere · 30/06/2015 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CamelHump · 30/06/2015 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHathaway · 01/07/2015 00:59

MrsDeVere I imagine MNHQ are keeping a close eye on the thread and jumped on the part of your post that could be considered troll hunting, since other posters expressed their doubt less explicitly.

kungfupannda · 01/07/2015 06:53

I was wondering why you were deleted too, MrsD. I don't remember anything offensive in your post.

FolkGirl · 01/07/2015 07:31

Considering the long term...

Do you want to be married to a convicted rapist?

SS will become involved if you become pregnant.

I don't know about rape of an adult, but you might find you have to chose between him and your child.

Can you imagine what it would be like for a child to know that their mother knowingly married amd conceived them with a convicted rapist..?

You would lose their respect and it would cause them to question themselves.

firesidechat · 01/07/2015 07:34

If I had posted what I really think about this thread I would have been deleted too, so wear your deletion with pride MrsDeVere.

Annarose2014 · 01/07/2015 07:42

This smells fishy. She's met his barrister? Really?!

findingmyfeet12 · 01/07/2015 07:58

I don't believe the OP has met his barrister.

I also don't accept that an innocent man would plead guilty to a charge as serious as this without raising merry hell.

There is absolutely no way a jury would convict a man of this without the presence of compelling evidence.

The OP says that there was evidence available to prove his innocence. There must have also been evidence present to prove the case otherwise he would never have agreed to enter a guilty plea.

Jux · 01/07/2015 09:06

Stubborn9ts, you sound awfully young, may I ask how old you are?

(i think you've gone, so am not expecting an answer)

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