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Original poster

Drunken comments

54 replies

daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 08:57

So at a 'do' over weekend. As usual h gets too drunk

We had been bickering as I was pissed off with his inability to go on a night out without getting plastered.

As we were going to bed out of blue he comes out with ' my mother was raped. So stick that up your feminist hole.'

I asked him in the am if it was true..no she wasn't but may have been molested..he doesn't know...

How would you feel about this ?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2015 09:00

What do you get out of this relationship now?. How long have you been living like this?.

And you are together still because?.

LineRunner · 15/06/2015 09:03

I'd feel pissed off and weirded out. Does he remember saying it?

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:05

I don't think he does remember saying it.

I feel disgusted that he's used whatever happens to his mother as a way of getting at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:06

*happened

OP posts:
Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:07

The same night I also overheard him telling his brother he's done coke when away with a mate recently.

I feel I'm married to a manchild

We have two dc

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 15/06/2015 09:07

I don't even understand what bizarre point he was trying to make.

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:09

No me neither .
He's always taking the piss out of me for being a feminist.

Oh god . I just don't have the energy for this. But i can't stop thinking about it .

OP posts:
Charley50 · 15/06/2015 09:12

I'd probably think it was a 'secret' that he carries around with him, which he blurted out when drunk.

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:13

That's what I wondered charley , but when I asked him about it the next morning I definitely didn't get that feeling from him about it

OP posts:
LineRunner · 15/06/2015 09:14

My OH is a lovely man in most ways but he can talk utter shite when he's a bit pissed.

But this seems so pointless, so bitter. Was it related in any way to the subject of the bickering? It's just so bizarre.

Is your DH lovely in most ways? Or is he turning out to be unliveable with? Some do, you know.

LineRunner · 15/06/2015 09:17

So maybe he was saying, 'You think you know all there is to know about women, well my mother was raped and you didn't know that...'?

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:18

It was totally out of the blue.

I just don't know. Drinking has caused issues before .

OP posts:
PoshPenny · 15/06/2015 09:21

I'm afraid I'd be less concerned about the strange drunk comment and more worried about the fact he can't go out without getting plastered or whatever were the exact words you used to that effect.

Charley50 · 15/06/2015 09:22

Well, maybe he made it up for some bizarre reason, or maybe his mum doesnt want him to tell anyone so he's pretending ignorance. Why is it bothering you so much?

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:23

Yes penny that is an issue also. He said he'll stop but he's said that before .

OP posts:
Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:24

Why is it bothering me, charley ? Well for one its pretty disrespectful to both me and his mother

OP posts:
Charley50 · 15/06/2015 09:26

But isn't the drinking too heavily more of an issue? Well I suppose what he said is a by-product of the heavy drinking. Yes if he made it up I agree it's disrespectful to you both.

Pagwatch · 15/06/2015 09:27

It would bother me too.

'Well my mother was raped so up yours' is really fucking weird. Using rape as a one-upmanship thing is bad. Using your mother in that context is really horrible.

Skiptonlass · 15/06/2015 09:27

What's he trying to achieve here? What's his point?

It sounds pretty miserable to be living with someone who can't have a couple of pints and come home civil. He does sound like a man child. What's the rest of the relationship like? I have a feeling your going to say "well most of the time he's a great father/husband...etc" and the reply you'll get is that most of the time isn't ok. We all have our off days but the only acceptable level of arseholery is zero :(

Have you done the "feminism is basically equal rights for women. What bit of that scares you?" Thing?

And when they start blathering on about man hating feminazis you calmly return to, "no, feminism aims for equal social, political, legal and economic rights for women and men. What bit of that don't you agree with and why?"

AnyFucker · 15/06/2015 09:28

"stick that up your feminist hole"

I think your husband doesn't like you very much.

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:39

Oh god. He has history of getting too drunk and saying hideous things and I thought we had got past it as no major incidents for a couple of years. But the lack of incidents is because - fortunately - we don't get to go out much together due to finances/childcare .

OP posts:
Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:39

I just feel so tired of it

OP posts:
Hullygully · 15/06/2015 09:44

he has ishoos, clearly

Original poster
daisygatsby · 15/06/2015 09:46

What kind of ishoos do you think hully ?
Drinking ones or misogynist ones or both ??

OP posts:
Charley50 · 15/06/2015 09:48

Does he recognise it as a problem?