He acts like he is my friend!

[Theoldcauliflower]

I've been with dp nearly 4years love him so much, we both have kids from previous , all get on great! But the sex is just shit, really shit! I ask all the time but we only do it when he wants to,and most the time we haven't done it for a while it's over quite quick I'm sick of it! Never any for play! Any clues???

What next I can't dress up he might laugh, he's fucked off at the mo, dont even know where he is, I'm almost done babe!!!

My relationship is a total fucking joke!!!

How about a satin nightie? Or satin robe.
Have a bath, retouch makeup n some lippy, tiny bit of perfume.
If casually walk past him a few times before sitting down and hope he notices. He will notice but wether he says anything is another story, my h sometimes gets to embarrassed to say anything.

Men are visual.
Your marriage isn't a joke, their just bloody hardwork at times.

I've tried it, he doesn't say a bloody word! I give up!

whatnext that's all fair enough in a relationship where you both want the same but mortifying when one of you is trying hard and the other is not interested. From what the op says, I don't think it would make the slightest bit of difference.

Totally get you on this one! We have sex about once a year and it's a quick over and done with in a crap attempt to keep me happy! I tried the dressing up, it got laughed at! I've totally had enough and looking into how I can leave. Apparently the sex dries up as you get older - he's only bloody early 30s!

Either he's worth staying with for other reasons, in which case ask him if you can have an open relationship, or this is a deal-breaker. You are much too young to settle. One life and all that....

Is he not willing to have his testosterone levels checked?
Was his sex drive always been abit low ?

He says there's nothing wrong with him, I've tried the dressing up, he didn't say a word so I took it as I must of looked shit! He used to be up for it all the time, I don't know what's wrong with me

There is nothing wrong with you and it is a big deal! I would not stay in that situation but I do know that a lot of people do. The myth that men want it all the time is just that, a myth.

I know you say that he is loving outside the bedroom but he is not taking your concerns seriously and if he is that loving he should be. He should be doing his best to keep you. He isn't doing anything and you need to consider whether you want to be with someone like that. This is not going to get better if he won't deal with it. You are a young woman, do you want to be in this situation in 10 years time?

No I don't , I don't even want to think about what it will be like in 10years!!! But I really do love him and don't want to leave our dd,s would be deverstated. He would rather play on his phone. I couldn't ever have an open relationship I could stand either of us sleeping with other people.

That is your answer then. Try your best not to focus on the lack of sex and without putting too fine a point on it, sort yourself out. Breaking up can be devastating but that is a part of life and avoiding painful situations is not the answer.

You are chosing to put your needs last in your family. It doesn't sound like your DP will sleep with someone else but just be warned stranger things have happened. I hope things work out for you.