DH says he doesn't feel he gets enough attention and he's probably right.

[Hottypotty]

We have 2 young children, he works full time, I work part time. I attend a hobby twice a week, he attends a hobby once a week and likes to spend time with his mum or dad in the week.

Dcs also have hobbies which they need accompanying to and we frequently have visitors for dinner and to stay over.

We go out with friends approx once every couple of months and as a couple approx once a month when we can organise a babysitter.

Dh says I don't pay him enough attention and he feels unloved. I do love him and enjoy spending time together but am frequently emotionally exhausted by children, work Etc. and he tends to take a back seat. I think I've lost sight of how to make him feel 'loved'.

He does his fair share of domestic stuff and we have a cleaner but I do the majority of child related stuff and tend to bear the emotional brunt of all things child related.

I'm not sure what other people's relationships are like and tend to think that this is just how it is when you have young children and busy lives.

How can we improve things?

I have also been through this stage, when both of us felt unappreciated and a bit neglected, but I think it's fine to mention it and fine to keep discussing it for a bit. I'm not even sure major action is required, like date nights (awful phrase) but a bit of kindness, a bit of fun together (watching movies, comedies) and generally viewing the other person like part of your team instead of a giant pain or someone creating more mess may be enough. I would ask him what he meant though, because if he actually means more specifically I'd like more sex, or I'd like not to have so many friends over when I'm tired after working, you need to know that.

I think it's fine for people in a marriage to sit down and recalibrate every now and again, even if the things said are sometimes hurtful. Perhaps you could have a nice dinner when the children have gone to bed, and have a blunt assessment of how things are going- perhaps there are things he could do that would in turn open up space for attention/love.

Far better to talk about these things than let them fester on in resentment or sniping behaviour (as I have done on occasions)- and it's not often that anything drastic has to change, but just that you need to readjust slightly so you aren't the least important people in each other's lives.