I'm sorry or actually not. But I just rang his wife and told her that he is a cheating lying bastard

[IHaveToldYou]

Sorry for the NC but I needed to get it out of my system. I have called my ExP's partner and told her that he is a liar and a cheater and was sleeping with the two of us at the same time while making up stories. I do feel very happy with myself. He is a bastard and can't treat women as some sort of convenience to pick and drop at his leisure.

I did ItalianLemons I did. Thank you.

Jan45 I know this is half term week so are you finished with your games or do you still want to play on for a while? I'm the unhinged one? Thanks!
You "assume" wrongly. But thanks for the effort! I'm obviously still hung up on a lying cheating man. Yes I really want him back. In fact would you be available to be a witness at our wedding?

Ah, calm down OP, don't let people wind you up. some people will say you were right, some people will say you were wrong. You weren't ranting and raving at this woman, you had a calm discussion, she now knows that her 'boyfriend' isn't single after all, as he had claimed.

For what it's worth, I'd have appreciated the information.

You're right loveareadingthanks I really shouldn't let internet trolls get the better of me.
We did have a calm discussion and actually worked out things that had confused the two of us. I personally would have liked to know so acted out of that. Whether or not she stays with him is her own decision but she does have a right to know. She said they are finished. As are things with me and him but I have no regrets and would do it again.

This thread makes me sick! all the posters calling the oP bitter and vengeful. This is WHY men get away with this carry on because women seem to think there's glory in keeping quiet.

Thanks S0mmer My thinking exactly. Why should he get away with it? And why am I the 'bitter vengeful' one? What would the trolls call him then?

Bizarre replies on here. The truth is valuable, in my view. More valuable than playing happy families.

Out of interest OP, did she believe you?

HootOnTheBeach Yes she did because we discussed things that we'd only know and made sense of things that you'd only know if you knew e.g a work trip or event that was actually time spent with one of us. Dates and times. It all eventually made sense.

I think you did the right thing op, the OW had a right to know, and women need to stick together so that men like this can't just do what they want with no regard for other people's feelings.

You did the right thing - don't really care what your motivation was.

All the people that think you were wrong, I wonder if they would like to live in ignorance. I know I wouldn't.

Thanks overmydeadbody IrianofWay & IrianofWay I personally wouldn't care if the OW held me in contempt but I would still like to know. This isn't a game we are playing. This is life and I quite frankly would do the same again.

Sorry, meant DustyMaiden in the last post.

So you knew he was shagging her at the same time, you must be 100% sure about that one to have called her up, surely or are you ignoring that point again.

Sorry I am not applauding you but opinions are like arseholes, we all have one.

So you and the other woman were each other's OW. Ok, got it.

I think you did the right thing, especially as she didn't know that he wasn't available at one point and then cheated on her with you. She took it well and did deserve to know the truth.

It sounds like you did the right thing op. It's not a conversation anyone would want to be on either side of but you've done her a service in the long run.

As you say, she can decide what she wants to do from here on now that she has all of the information.

Jan why is it so hard to understand?

The OP found out about the OW, dumped the man and told the OW what was going on. Not rocket science love.

Because her opening line is But I just rang his wife.................too many inconsistencies for me to believe that she was doing this purely to help OW or wife, or whatever she is.

Hope that's not rocket science for you either, love.

And if you RTFT you will see that she said that the wife comment was a typo.

Yeah of course it FW.

Jan:

The OP was cheated on by her ex with the OW and then later became the ex's OW when he cheated on the former OW.

Like you I was confused but do buy the typo or maybe she wants to sensationalize the thread title. Regardless, one woman didn't know she was inadvertently the OW and being cheated on by her partner. And it was not the OP. She deserves to know the truth.

What I found a bit wasn't just the wife typo, in the title, which seems a pretty major mistake, it was the opening post where OP says she feels "very happy" in herself. It's not kind to revel in this wife's (or partners) misfortune of being lied to and cheated on, when the same actions of this man have caused the OP so much distress.

It didn't come across that the major motivation was to protect this other (innocent) woman from distress, rather that OP was revelling in it a little, to be honest. I posted when just the OP had been made, and if you read this, it seems OP's motive wasn't really altruistic.

Jan45 I clearly did wrong in your eyes. I hope you have a wonderful blissful ignorant life.

And NoIsNot I absolutely feel very proud of myself. If thats what bothers you then so be it. It's not about revelling in someones pain. It's about truth.

some posters seem to identify with the OW?

Thanks, I doubt it though...........