I'm sorry or actually not. But I just rang his wife and told her that he is a cheating lying bastard

[IHaveToldYou]

Sorry for the NC but I needed to get it out of my system. I have called my ExP's partner and told her that he is a liar and a cheater and was sleeping with the two of us at the same time while making up stories. I do feel very happy with myself. He is a bastard and can't treat women as some sort of convenience to pick and drop at his leisure.

Iwashappy yes exactly that! I did think they had finished because we were trying to make it work at the time. We were being honest with each other and having frank discussions. I did then find out he was very much still with her.

Noctilucent Please read the thread. I am not the OW. But to answer your question I just believe in honesty and truth - those are my ideals. Hilarious I know!

Iwashappy She had absolutely no idea who I was or that he was in a relationship. As far as she's concerned I might as well have been the OW. She thought he was single. She is entirely innocent. But she had to know the truth imho.

You did the right thing. Well done And to her, too, she obviously took it in the spirit of your intention. Must have taken some balls ovaries on both parts.

I hope you were kinder to her than you implied in your op

You just sound bitter and told her to make things shit for him and her, makes it look like you still want him I'd say.

The right thing to have done would have been to rise above it and not get involved, Jeremy Kyle style is never a good look.

At least she knows now. You'll be eaten alive here but I think you did her a favour.

And, I think it's harder for men to carry on with this three women on the go type shit when women delude themselves that there's dignity in keeping their shenanigans quiet!

BitOutOfPractice I was, it was very much a calm discussion. She even told me things I had no idea about. It was quite a revelation.

Jan45 Yes, you are so so right. Your medal is in the post! I did just tell her to make things shit for him and her - as obviously previously things between them had been perfect. As you imply, I should have probably just let him continue to screw the two of us and not mention a thing. Not least because I don't know who else he was screwing but I must have let my bitterness get the better of me for affording another woman a choice to decide her own future and check her own health. By your logic I should have just let him continue with business as usual. Are you always so insightful or just today?

Thanks S0mmer I mainly did so because I would also like to know.

Wow, you really are one bitter vengeful woman.

Best you stop posting on an internet forum then where everyone can read your posts and respond.

If she genuinely had no idea he had another partner, the. I think you did exactly the right thing.

It's quite a big mistake to say "wife" if she wasn't actually...well, a wife.

But at least "you feel very happy" with yourself. at least you owned it in the Op rather than later pretending you did it for the good of womankind eh.

I'm all for deceiving people being called out, but not at the expense of deliberately hurting another person to make yourself feel better. There is ways and means.

If she was his wife, you will be seen as the vengeful OW, btw.

Thanks SwearyInn I agree. She had a right to know.

Jan45 Yes, you've sussed me out! I'm actually evil and only go out when there's a full moon. It's about honesty and integrity. I'm glad you'd rather be cheated on and live blissfully ignorant but I suspect a lot of women would like to know. We can't all be as naive as you.

Will there be a commercial break in this?

NoIsNot I made a mistake by calling her his wife. I already mentioned this. She wasn't his wife and I wasn't the OW. We were together for a few years before she entered the picture. I honestly don't know where 'wife' came from as they are certainly not married.
And I'm not pretending anything nor am I deliberately setting out to hurt another person by informing her of what is going on. I'd like to know therefore I acted on the basis of how I'd like to think. It's not about womenkind. I'm sure the issues that face women aren't all about cheating men. I acted based on what I would like to know. It really does baffle me the amount of women that post on here going through heartbreak that their DP's cheated and the women that would rather let sleeping dogs lie and never expose the truth.

OP you sound very fucking bitter.

Yes Wayne I suppose one might feel slightly angered when being lied to for over one year. Only slightly though.

Yes maybe she does Wayne, but wouldn't we all be in her shoes.

I probably should have let him continue what he was doing then Wayne I'm sure that would have resulted in the best possible outcome for all involved.

On this board there are women going through phones, breaking into e-mail accounts or not being sure of what the hell is going on. But here we have an example of concrete proof and a conversation yet it is still deemed wrong. You are probably right Wayne. I should have just let him do whatever he liked. Much better than actually a conversation in which we put together missing pieces of a puzzle. He should probably have gone on in the same light and have us both thinking that we were going mad. Thank you for that true gem of wisdom.

Yes Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Exactly that! There but for the grace of God.

Strange responses. I hope you got the support you needed when you went through this, op.

Typical scorned woman's rebuttal.

I assume you knew he was sleeping with OW whilst sleeping with you, otherwise, how would you know for a fact that you felt 100% sure to call this lady up and inform her - the more you write, the more unhinged you sound, and, again, like you are still hung up on him.