Being a counsellor is easy money isn't it?

[Happyfriday]

What do they actually do for their £40-50 an hour?

I have had three short blocks of counselling in recent years. The first one looked shocked, the second one agreed with everything I said and the third one wanted to laugh everything off and then apologised for it.

How do you know what you need? I'm not sure if I should be looking for a certain type of counselling or give it more time.

When people say they are in therapy what do they mean?

Appreciate you're unhappy with how counselling's gone for you but your OP stinks.

Why? I am genuinely asking what they do?

Having counselling with the wrong therapist can feel rubbish.

Are you going on recommendations? Some GP's refer people to voluntary orgs which can be mixed, IME.

Do you know what you want to 'get' from therapy? This would help, I would think.

i agree - money for old rope & they frequently make it worse. 'Get counselling' is the new universal panacea. Snake oil.

Why? I am genuinely asking what they do?
No you're not - you're directly suggesting they do piss all for their money. If it hasn't worked for you so far, fine. But why not post something of that nature? Rather than suggest the whole counselling industry is made up of inadequates?

My sister is a psycho-synthesist counsellor.

She earns a packet.

I really don't find it easy money - it's hard going empathising with someone and listening completely for long period of time.

There's a lot of training and a lot of ongoing reflection and supervision. That said, it sounds like you haven't clicked with the ones you've seen. It doesn't appeal to everyone, but also not every counsellor is the best example of their profession, just as with any job.

If you're interested, I could try and find a link to a summary of counselling skills, but tbh it's actually experiencing what it's like to actively listen to someone without butting in with 'oh yes my leg fell off worse' or 'well you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps' etc that's an education.

I have done two counselling courses although they were pretty basic. I know there is a lot of training involved and these counsellors have lots of letters after their names.

But in practice I can't see what their skills are.

you have had shit coubsellors.

ive had a few of those. Then i got a good one - i didn't necessarily like what he had to say but i needed to hear it

The counsellor I saw was amazing. AMAZING. It sounds like you've had a run of crap ones but I can assure you there are good ones out there.

Surely there is more to it than active listening. I can get that from friends and family.

Yes I have heard that it is important to find the right counsellor for you.

You've done counselling courses?

If so, you're very lucky. Like I say, I'm happy to link if you're interested but it'd be more informative for you to sit with someone for an hour while using the microskills and core conditions and not thinking about things in your own life related to things the person is saying. It's not like normal conversations and normal listening.

Sounds like you may have seen counsellors that were inexperienced or just plain shit and I am sorry about that. But it's very common to dislike or feel annoyed with the counsellor as you transfer in feelings from other areas of your life.

I'm a trainee counsellor and I don't believe it is money for old rope. My own therapy saved my life (I was suicidal, nowadays I can handle my emotions). But it IS hard to understand what the heck it's for if you don't know.

Counselling isn't about giving advice. Here are some of the things it can be for:

• helping someone work through feelings they've been avoiding
• processing traumatic experiences
• helping people examine faulty beliefs about themselves eg if you have low self esteem
• creating new neural pathways in the brain
• providing a safe space where someone can be themselves and figure out who that is
• testing out new ways to 'be' in the world eg to relate to others

They aren't getting £40-50, as they need to take off tax, room hire, insurance and accreditation costs.

Do you know what you would like from counselling? Are you wanting someone who's a bit more directive and asks questions, or something with tasks and homework, for example?

I have an hours counselling attached to my fertility acupuncture every week and OMG they are worth their weight in gold. I have been to hell and back with my recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and my acupuncturist has made me cling to my sanity.

In the past I have seen a few other counsellors for confidence issues and they weren't great, but maybe I expected too much. Not sure.

I appreciate you're unhappy with the people you've seen, but my sister trained for six years for her counselling diploma while working fulltime to pay the bills, having intensive paid counselling herself on the way as a compulsory part of the course, did I'm not sure how many hundred hours voluntary counselling before being accredited by the diploma-awarding body - and now she works at a centre counselling recovering drug addicts, which is full-on, demanding and sometimes dangerous. She more than earns her salary.

But I've certainly also seen completely pointless people myself.

OP how can you have done counselling courses and not know what skills are involved?!

I used to work with someone who retrained to be a counsellor. She had a huge amount of personal issues herself I think that's what drew her to the profession. She was horrible to be around and certainly in her previous life was entirely judgmental about her colleagues relationships and personal problems, including a late miscarriage where she told a girl to shut up and stop mentioning it.. She broke up a marriage to man that was engaged without quarks. I could not believe she became a counsellor and I do feel that it is not regulated enough and worry about the self projecting she is no doubt doing to her clients. Makes me very nervous.

"Surely there is more to it than active listening. I can get that from friends and family."

No, you can't. Your friends and family can't listen to you without the everyday social and relational clutter of your relationships. And they know the people you are talking about and may disagree with what you say.

Plus active listening isn't just about listening. And cannot be done safely by someone who is unable to differentiate between their stuff and yours.,

Thats very insulting op. Im sorry you have had bad experiences but please dont tar us all with the same brush. If you are paying your therapist they should be registered with the BACP for example. If its NHS just tell your GP you want to change your therapist until you find one you click with.

There's a nice thread in AIBU for any counsellors reading,btw

Nc to say I can tell you that the average counsellor earns £11k per year. They pay insurance, professional membership, supervision, room hire, cpd courses.

In my experience, which is quite extensive, they are not in it for the money.

Research shows that the success of counselling is largely about the relationship between client and counsellor. If this lacks then the process is unlikely to be successful.

Itsgoodtotalk.org.uk is a very helpful website

I did do two courses and started a third but it got very theoretical and there was a lot of work to be done in your own time. I appreciate there is a lot of training.

What I'm saying is I don't see the skills in practice. I gave examples in my op of the counselling I experienced.

peppermintcrayon your post is helpful in understanding what counselling can do but that was nowhere near my experience.