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Original poster

Does anyone else find socialising exhausting?

79 replies

FrameItWhite · 23/05/2015 20:14

Or am I an oddball?

I would say I'm a popular person and have lots of friends but I just cannot socialise too often and when I do I just feel exhausted.

OP posts:
DarkHeart · 23/05/2015 20:23

Me! Have tried to work out why so many times, think maybe I am a sociable introvert??!!

MrsUltracrepidarian · 23/05/2015 20:24

Same here.
I accept invites and look forward to the event, but when the time comes I really don't want to go, and when I get there I want to leave early.
I prefer small groups, find parties just too wearing.
Don't like inviting people to my home either because I know I will want to go to bed at 10pm...
I have lots of friends whose company I really enjoy for walks, coffee, a meal out etc, but my worst nightmare would be a 'girls' night out'..

roughtyping · 23/05/2015 20:25

Yes, I find it a bit stressful having close relationships. I have health problems which cause fatigue which I think causes problems with this, because I feel like I can't give friendships the energy they deserve IYSWIM.

esiotrot2015 · 23/05/2015 20:26

Yes I'm the same
I have to force myself to go to hen nights birthday parties etc and when I'm there I enjoy it after a few drinks but have to make myself go

newnamesamegame · 23/05/2015 20:28

Personally I don't, but I think its very common and by no means is it something that should make you feel you are an oddball. You are probably an introvert, and there's nought wrong with that.

mistymeanour · 23/05/2015 20:29

Me too - accept invites, buy tickets to things and then don't want to go. I get ill if I socialise too much on top of working and need a day in bed after an event (I don't drink). I read the HIghly Sensitive Person recently - guess I am just one of those.

DidgeDoolittle · 23/05/2015 20:29

I feel exactly the same as you MrsU.
Last time I went to a party I vowed that I would never accept another invitation, I find them excruciating.

ashtrayheart · 23/05/2015 20:30

Yes! I love the idea of a social introvert because I can identify with that.

ashtrayheart · 23/05/2015 20:30

Sociable even

Branleuse · 23/05/2015 20:31

me, i like people alot in small doses and i like meeting friends for coffee, but an evening party, no way.

DidgeDoolittle · 23/05/2015 20:31

I thought it was just me that felt like that, Misty. What is this book you referred to?

LaBette001 · 23/05/2015 20:33

accept invites and look forward to I " I accept invites, look forward to the event, but when the time comes I really don't want to go, and when I get there I want to leave early.
I prefer small groups, find parties just too wearing.
Don't like inviting people to my home either because I know I will want to go to bed at 10pm... "

This is 100% me...

What is wrong with us?!?!?!! Grin

PinkParsnips · 23/05/2015 20:33

Yep me too.

I have lots of different friends from different places, probably because I find large groups hard work.
I'm a real chatterbox in a one on one situation but put me in front of a group of more than 4 or 5 and I go mute.
I love to socialise but often find myself cancelling at the last minute as I go off the idea when the time comes.
I even find making conversation at work exhausting if I'm not in the right frame of mind.

stevienickstophat · 23/05/2015 20:34

My idea of a nightmare is being invited out for dinner with dp and another couple. The stress of everyone getting along is a total mare, and I'm never that keen on my friends' partners.

Smalltalk is totally exhausting. I talk too much, usually drink too much and end up stressing out the next day and analysing everything I said.

I'd much rather be left alone with dp and the kids, and have one-to-one meetings for lunch or a film about twice a year.

LaBette001 · 23/05/2015 20:34

And now I can't even copy & paste properly !

Fizzyplonk · 23/05/2015 20:34

Absolutely but always seem to over commit to meeting up, then wish I had more head space

Hollii · 23/05/2015 20:35

Introverts. I'm the same. Will talk to people and appear very sociable but don't want to take things further. There is an introverts thread on MN.Smile

PandaMummyofOne · 23/05/2015 20:41

Absolutely! I love my friends but I just can not be arsed to go out on a Saturday night. All I want to do is sit with a takeaway, a bottle of wine and the TV.

I have no life and I'm damn proud

MrsUltracrepidarian · 23/05/2015 20:47

My idea of a nightmare is being invited out for dinner with dp and another couple. The stress of everyone getting along is a total mare, and I'm never that keen on my friends' partners.
yy
I have a good friend who I occasionally suggests that we and our DHs meet up for a meal at a local restaurant. I agonise over what excuse to give ( DH genuinely has to get up early every day for his sport which I what I usually use) because I don't much like her DH, and DH hardly knows them and would mutter and grumble about going and I would be on eggshells. (He is like me Grin).

PeppermintPasty · 23/05/2015 20:49

I nearly didn't post because it's almost like socialising....
...I couldn't agree more. I absolutely cannot be arsed going out and have to force myself on rare occasions just to prove to friends that I haven't buried myself under the patio.

I have loads of friends, which is not a stealth boast, but, particularly as I've got older, I draw the line all the time, and make sure I'm doing what I want to do much more.

It's also something to do with having little kids and rarely having a bloody minute to myself. I LOVE being alone, always have done, even pre kids.
Miserable git Smile

PeppermintPasty · 23/05/2015 20:50

This is us.

Does anyone else find socialising exhausting?
TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 20:52

Me too. I have few friends, & the ones I do have, I see rarely (but we are good friends and have been since childgood). I don't usually mind but sometimes I'm lonely. DH is my only real daily company. He's an irritating, irritable sod sometimes. But I love him anyway. I don't think many other people would put up with me.

Mummatron3000 · 23/05/2015 20:55

Yes! Me too. But put it down to being an introvert (I only discovered what introversion was & that I was definitely an introvert in my early 20s - sooo wish I'd known at school/uni, instead of feeling a bit weird not wanting to socialise!)
misty thanks for link, have ordered that book, looks interesting!

spookyskeleton · 23/05/2015 21:03

Me too - exactly like others on here have said, I accept invites and then wonder why and make up excuses not to go.

However I am a very chatty person at work and with friends.

Next weekend, we are going away with 3 other families for a couple of nights. The mums are some of my closest friends so I am not actually dreading it that much but I know I will be desperate to get to my hotel room after spending the whole day/evening with 15 other people!!