The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Shaping Up For A Super, Sober Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

This is 'Gerald', our trustworthy, non judgemental Bus, full of a variety of posters who have travelled long and far, or even just joined us a few stops ago.

This is a place where you can be who YOU want to be. 24/7, 365. This lovely place is just like your best friend, there's no slagging off, no judging, just us.

Drinking or not, embarrassed, fed up of the way things are, or just lonely of living the way drinking makes you do, come and take a peek and see what you think.....

THIS THE LAST THREAD WE HAD

AND THIS IS WHERE THE BUS WAS BUILT, WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We can't wait to meet you, we won't bite! Well, unless you ask very nicely.

Take good care until we see you. :) xx

morning all,

ruby I doubt the problem is with you- why on earth do you think that? Some people enjoy speaking up but plenty of other's prefer to write ideas,think quietly,communicate via email because it gives them time to reflect and form their ideas properly.Any chance of making some changes to the environment of the room you meet in?

baby good to see you : ) Bugger what happened when you drank,that's in the past now. Sorry to hear you've been ill but you sound stronger and ready to just get on with it again.

hi to looking and joey- will think about hrt- and umm.. you're all on the other page now,so happy wednesday all!

Thanks Guggs I'm on a complete downer - I'm premenstrual and I always feel so awful I cannot imagine feeling ok again but I'm sure I will. I also suffer badly with social anxiety and find it difficult to communicate at the best of times. What does perimenapausal mean? Hope they're not too bad love.

I think I might nip to the shop for chocolate

Chocolate is good idea.Which kind are you after?

I'm not going to tell you about being middle aged and menopausal,i'm going to pretend that it's a marvellous and wonderful part of being a woman is it fuck

I have the opposite of social anxiety and still hate false,pressured situations.

Anyone listening to the Jeremy Vile show about drinking? I think I'll watch horizon tonight,sounds very interesting.

I don't think I'll watch it. I don't want to be reminded of the crap state my liver's in. Although it may be a kick up the arse for me to stop drinking. I've even been taking milk thistle to heal any damage that alcohol has done (like that's going to work!! )

Yeah I can understand that! I'm going to start watching and see how it goes.

How are you getting along hands? The liver heals really quickly you know.

Also congrats to sobersoc on the amazing achievement of 1 year sober!!!!! Are you aiming for year 2 now?

I've eaten a Yorkie which was nice but whilst in the shop saw a mum from school. Her dc's are in a different year to mine so if I was being kind I could think she doesn't recognise me but I'm damn sure she does. She looked me up and down, I smiled and her face didn't crack. Stupid woman. I'm very angry.

Hello all. Haven't read back but just wanted to add to what you say about the liver healing quickly.

I've been putting off having a medical for months. I'm supposed to have them regularly for work but have failed to do so and come up with all kinds of avoidance tactics because I was so scared to see the liver test results. My liver was starting to hurt and ache all the time at the back end of last year and I was so so scared. After 4.5 months sober I finally gave in and had my blood tests last week and my medical yesterday.

I hardly slept the night before, I was so worried. It seemed like sods law that I would be on the verge of kicking alcohol (fingers crossed) and then be told that I'd already done the liver damage. But guess what - the tests were not only fine, I was actually scoring low on all the ones where scoring high is indicative of damage. I am so relieved. I have been crying quite a bit ever since!

And yes, my immediate thought was - ok, I can have a drink again then, it's all fine! But I know it is not fine - I can't drink and I won't drink (for now, anyway). I feel that by the grace of God/something, I may have dodged a bullet (I know the tests aren't foolproof too) and I am not putting myself back in the line of fire. I owe it to my family to try to stay strong, one day at a time.

Sorry, I hope this doesn't come across as crowing. I have been so scared. I am posting really just to say that I am certain that if I had had these tests 6 months ago they'd have been off the scale. In that time, I do believe that my liver has been healing itself and that a careful diet in recent weeks has helped too. I hope that offers a bit of hope to those who are scared about what their drinking is doing to them. I know it is not a magic wand and I know - hope - I've been lucky - but let's keep on keeping on, babes, it really is worth stopping/cutting down insofar as we can humanly do so.

I hope that makes sense and comes across ok? I'm a bit all over the place emotionally today and I so don't want to sound smug. I am just relieved.

Great news SmallFox. And not sounding smug at all. I understand how relieved you must feel.

Fox what a relief no wonder you're tearful Another reason to keep on keeping on

Hello beonit

Baby darling I'm so sorry that you had a crap night I hope you are feeling better

Thanks Ma x

Khalisi you make me laugh thank you x

Ruby hope you're feeling better babe

Waves to all

small that is great news : )

Hi to spanna and beonit

ruby can you get something nice to eat or plan a treat for yourself? Don't worry about school gate mum. If i forget to smile at someone near school it tends to be because school have informed me of my little monster's latest behaviour rather than because I don't want to say hi. Honestly,she'd probably had to go and listen to the head teacher explain that small PrincessKitten had broken the school caretaker. again.
And if she is unfriendly,then at least you know & don't have to bother with her any more.

ruby, I can just about guarantee that the problem isn't with you. She may have been having a bad day, she might suffer from Resting Bitch Face or she might just be a cow.

There's a woman I see every morning, we drop off our daughters at nursery at the same time in the morning. I've given up smiling and saying Good Morning. If she wants to walk around with a face like a torn arse that's her problem, I'm not taking it on.

khalisi, definitely up for another run at the weekend.

fox great news about the liver tests!

just seen the date it's not 50 it's 51 'where's Barrie? think I need a slap

Thanks all I feel a bit better, had a pleasant time with the Dc's after school with them telling me stories about their day.
Fox fab news on the liver test.
Spanna 51 days - brilliant
April you made me laugh with your description of miserable woman's face
Guggs thanks for the sensible words.

Think I'm going a bit crackers.
Day 4 for me

Fox not only bloody brilliant well done after 4.5 months (4.5 months!! Really!) but excellent news re the liver tests I've also had the aches and pains around the liver but unlike you I'm not brave enough to get it checked out .

Can I ask a few questions to all you wonderful AF babes? Do the cravings ever go away? When does your skin start to look better? When do YOU start to look/feel better? Do you feel happier? The thought of a life AF terrifies me.

Ruby I know so many mums at school like that You are a lovely friendly person. She is a bitch. Please don't let her upset you. You sound very much like me. Hugs xx

Re ADs when I was on seroxat, as well as putting on loads of weight, when I tried to come off it it was like (how I imagine) coming off heroine. It was horrendous. It also made me incredibly paranoid - I remember a car parked outside our house and I wouldn't go outside because I thought it was someone sent to kill me. I've been given sertraline this time. Still haven't taken them. My anxiety/ocd is really bad .

Night night ladies xx

Good morning, most darlings of Babes!

Oh Ruby! We have a saying that you do not have to great a person but if you are greeted, it is a must to return a greeting. (Exception to the rule if someone ignoring your greeting and then being friendly next time).
You have to practice your poker face, babes. With lifting just one eyebrow. Next time you run into the cow, look right through her. If she ever greets you, inhale, exhale slowly, lifting a brow, poker faced eyebrow, and walk on! I have no patience with rude people.

April RBF - going to adopt that!

Congrats on the test results, Fox! I totally sympathise on postponing. Every time I get liver results I feel as if my heart misses a beat.

Oh baby . How are you today, babes?

Still hoping Sweet will pop onto Gerald soon.

Happy Thursday!
xxx

Morning babes, jumping back on the bus. Am hungover today and feeling yeuch!

Hi obrigada. Same here . Feeling completely pissed off. Hope you're ok xx

Hi Hands . Just feeling tired and hungry, bedtime can't come soon enough. It's just not worth it ! How are you feeling?

Small great news 're liver tests. Not smug at all, you are giving me hope in the regenerative powers of the liver. Though I never went back for my blood results

Ruby when Dd was in primary there was one woman whose daughter went to the same school, same brownies, same gymnastics and same dance school. I saw the woman about 15 times a week and she never returned my smile, ever . Not once. She was perfectly friendly with the mums in her kid's class but never spoke to me or smiled in 7 years. Total bitch. But she had a face like a slapped arse and her daughter looked like an albino rat, so I assumed she was just resentful

Soc wow, a whole year ! Amazing. Did you reach a point where it just became easy and you realised you didn't want to drink, or was it just daily willpower for a long time? Either way, you are a and an inspiration.

Overdid it yesterday, lots of vinos having lunch with old lovely boss. Hmmm. Sympathy to other hungover babes today. And congratulations to those abstainers.

On phone atm so will nc everyone else later

Got 1:1 meeting with line manager soon. . Pointless damage limitation on his part to mitigate our grievance claim. He's not a bad person but is acting for evil manager of his own and so I don't trust him. Wish me luck babes xxx

Best of luck with your meeting this afternoon Looking

Hands, Obrigada, hope you're feeling better. Hope good luck with the pointless meeting, am hoping against hope for you that something positive comes out of it.

Hands, you asked about when you might start to feel better, and what other people's experiences had been. If it's at all helpful, my own experience has been that my skin still looks pretty rubbish nearly 5 months on, but I am coming to the conclusion that's just my skin! My hair on the other hand is definitely boingier!

I am still sleeping loads and loads - I thought to start with it was just because of the boredom of an AF evening but am thinking now that it is still my body healing, and 15 odd years of poor sleep to catch up on. I feel brighter, less grey, more positive and less panicky. Less depressed by everything and generally stuff seems more manageable than it did before. I don't think about drinking for several hours at a time. Even for a whole evening sometimes. And when I do think about it by and large it is abstract rather than a massive urge to open a bottle. It is manageable.

I do, however, realise that it will always need vigilance, always need thought. I am clear now that I can't drink again and I will try to sustain that if I possibly can (it doesn't feel too overwhelming to think like that any more) but I don't think you should necessarily start off that way as it is too scary and off putting. One day at a time, one hour at a time in the first few days and weeks. Only now am I saying 'I don't drink' to people, rather than making up temporary excuses about dry jan etc. and that is fine - it is no-one else's business but your own.

Not sure if that helps - others will have longer, stronger experiences than me, but that's been my journey to date. A journey I would never have made without this wonderful bus. We're here for you every step of the way - stick with it, brave lady.

Sweet - hugs to you if you're reading. Miss you.

Thanks Fox I know the first week or so is the hardest. I can't get past 5 days, and weekends - forget it! I'm trying so hard to find the strength from somewhere. It's always "I'll stop next Monday/after the bank holiday weekend/after so and so's birthday do"etc. But when the day arrives I find more excuses to drink. I'd love to think that one day I'll be in the position you are in now!

Obrigada hope you're ok. I've spent the day feeling like shit and eating crap . No change there then!

Hope how did the meeting go? How are you feeling?

DH is watching the semi finals of the darts. I can't stand the excitement so may go to bed. Hugs to all the babes xx

Yay Obrigada good to see you how's it all going lovely?

Hope how did your meeting go? Hope it wasn't too painful with wanker Manager Have a good day x

Baby darling I hope that you're feeling better lovely. Hugs to you my friend x

Hands as time goes on it does get easier and you get more used to not drinking. I feel so much better. I'm eating like a gannet every day and have developed a sweet tooth that I never had before People say I look so much better (but I can't see that myself) My advice is to keep on trying, my hardest time is that first week (in fact it's day 3) Try and think of personal rewards for the days that you don't drink. Although I'm not doing it, put the money in a jar that you would have spent on booze, it soon adds up! Most important of all - be kind to yourself

April and Fox hope you're both ok xx

Just seen the time - English Lit for DD1 today - must dash.

Have a good day ladies

Morning ladies

Thanks Spanna xx. English for DS today too. They're having their leaving assembly later as they officially finish school today. I think he's secretly feeling a bit sad about it as a few of his friends won't be staying on for sixth form. Good luck to your DD

Have a fab Friday Babes xx

Morning all. Thanks for all your wise words starting to bring me out of my miserable mood.
Small you sound so positive with the changes you've made. Good on you.

Looking loved your story about the miserable woman, unbelievable! Silly Cow! How was the meeting?

Obrigada and Hands hope you feel better today.

Khalisi been practicing my poker face.

Hi to everyone else.