Evening. Need an early night tonight cos got to get up at 5.30 to get dd ready for a school trip, but am too cross and tense to sleep just now, so quick rant... I am only 2 hours back from trip to London in which time I've researched holidays, packed for dd, made her a lunch for tomorrow, indulged her by doing facepacks and nails and sorted out both kids with clean ironed clothes and cash for tomorrow (ds is on a college trip). Arrived home to sink full of washing up and overflowing bins. WB rocked up at 9.00pm. Ten minutes ago I went to make a brew and said not to bother saying goodnight to dd as she is asleep now (though she was awake at 9 when he came in) and got a self pitying rant about how he was 'working' till 9.00pm. (I always maintain, if you don't get paid for it, it ain't work 
) God, I hate him. I have spent stressful day taking on new work project to keep me busy while waiting for redundancy, met with line manager to talk about the end of my career, am stressing all the time about whether I can leave in time to take a lucrative freelance contract I've been offered and all that arse can do is ... well, f* all as far as I can see.
Anyway, rant over.
Ma hope dd is OK and that the doctors get to the bottom of things. Hope ds's back is better too. How stressful for you on top of all that is going on at work. Big hugs 
How did the accountant meeting go? Any joy?
Baby I love your posts. I just want to wrap you up in a big, big hug for being so wonderful . I also admire your glam shoes, although I would not be able to cross a room in those heels let alone venture outside. You are a heroine!
Lobster how are you this evening lovely lady? Your experience of the health professionals sounds so frustrating. I don't believe your needs are so complex they can't deal with you. It just sounds like typical public sector nonsense, nobody wants to take responsibility for anything, there are always referrals. Hope you get some joy soon.
A proposal is very intriguing?? How lovely (even if it's not what you want at the moment, it is nice that your friend cares about you so much.) It's also nice that you can discuss things so openly with your daughter.
You seem like you have a lovely relationship with dd, she sounds a mature and understanding young woman. It is good to see your kids grow up into decent people isn't it? I do worry with my ds that he is mature and understanding because he has to be, I sometimes think if I had a happy marriage and had provided a more functional family for him to grow up in he might be more of a typical teenage monster and perhaps he has grown up too soon because of the discord at home. But then I remind myself that I do try hard, or I did once, and it's not my fault WB is such a selfish, entitled twunt. Perhaps my lovely kids are my gift to make up for my awful husband 
. And maybe ds would just have been lovely anyway, some people are. (he is still lazy and cheeky though. and untidy )
Joey my shoes are FitFlops. They are the comfiest thing ever, like walking on squishy cushions. I have 6 pairs of FitFlop sandals alone (I bought a pink pair online only this week for my holiday – they are called Superjellys for the beach) and also 3 pairs of their Ugg style boots. But I do mostly just wear the plain silver ones. I know, I know Khalisi sorry again. I need more feet then I can wear more pairs at once
Khalisi I loved your line about happiness being based on being sober, solvent and healthy. I’ll go for that. With the absence of romantic love being irrelevant. I keep thinking that I will end up alone, but you know, I’m alone now. I don’t have a marriage. We are just two individuals who don’t like each other sharing a house and two kids. I don’t envision meeting anyone else at my age, but maybe I need to learn to be alone. It’s just working out how to get to that point without hurting the dcs….
Beonit how are you tonight? I’m glad to see you back on the thread. I do understand the anxiety, I have it too, but drinking just makes it worse, it’s a vicious circle. You do have it in you to stop the wine witch. We all try and fail and try and fail and then one day, a breakthrough. We have so many success stories on this bus to inspire us. Don’t beat yourself up about drinking, guilt doesn’t help. Just try each day and note how you feel and post on here if it helps… (and if you want a distraction photograph your feet and add to the shoe comparison site )
Popcorn, Spanna, Beaches, Isinde, Guggs, Smallfox and anyone else who is around at the moment – wishing you all a wonderful night’s sleep, love to all
I had a major panic about a work issue yesterday (it’s now a medium panic, but still there) and combined with WB’s utter indifference combined with general uselessness and bad temper, I succumbed to a glass of wine on the train home as a ‘treat’ (I know 200 empty calories in an overpriced mini bottle from M&S is not really a ‘treat’, but bought it in a childish defiant way). So my AF run stalled at Day 23, but I’m not too despondent as back on it tomorrow. That app I use just registered a yellow square to ruin my month of virtuous green. But May was full of red squares in the last week so it’s better than it was. Onward and upwards and all that...
Right, must make another 
and then sleep now if I’m to be up in time to take dd tomorrow. Posting on here has made me feel tons better, just getting it off my chest really – this bus is better than a bottle of wine, no contest! Love ya Brave Babes x