The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Shaping Up For A Super, Sober Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

This is 'Gerald', our trustworthy, non judgemental Bus, full of a variety of posters who have travelled long and far, or even just joined us a few stops ago.

This is a place where you can be who YOU want to be. 24/7, 365. This lovely place is just like your best friend, there's no slagging off, no judging, just us.

Drinking or not, embarrassed, fed up of the way things are, or just lonely of living the way drinking makes you do, come and take a peek and see what you think.....

THIS THE LAST THREAD WE HAD

AND THIS IS WHERE THE BUS WAS BUILT, WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We can't wait to meet you, we won't bite! Well, unless you ask very nicely.

Take good care until we see you. :) xx

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I am so very sorry but I haven't read back at all

Life has been a bit hectic here and I feel as is the walls have been getting nearer. I'm okay, over tired and in a world of pain because of my knees.

I went to the GP and he's sent off for an x-ray request and also to see a Rheumatoid Arthritis Consultant.

I'm in pain all the time and the GP said there just isn't anything else that he can give me. I don't want medication. I want help, real, understanding. Someone who knows what it's like to feel pain, chronic, debilitating pain every waking hour.

I want to go and see a friend who I love dearly, she's very heavily pregnant and suffering with zero support and a 14 month old wild, curious little dude. So, train tickets need booking and I need to be there for her.

Tomorrow is my late Mum's birthday, she would've been 61 and I've decided too drive up to the crem to pay my respects with DD and Nemo, then go and see my Dad.

I really miss my Mum and really need her what with all this DLA crap still going on. We've got 11 days, not including wknds, to sort this. Shit.

We've been given some great advice and are going to challenge some of the crap that they put in the report.

There's just so much going on and I'm so super exhausted and my knees being an added source of pain make me want to smash them up with a sledge hammer.

I know this is a very selfish post and not really my usual type of post but today, this week, this month... everything is just too much. For me, my dear friend and if I could find the damn 'STOP' button, I'd slam it and get off of this place for a while.

DD has had a bloody rough ride with her ex this last week, two faced pig. She was in absolute pieces and that tore me apart because she's my baby girl. Nobody messes with my girl, she's been through way too much already.

Her prom is in a couple of weeks and her ex twat boyfriend was supposed to be taking her, he has a matching tie to her dress... they're going in the same coach, but I said I'll take her instead.

They are at the same table with mutual friends and she doesn't want that anymore. She wants to be in the fricking moon, instead of near him, the shit.

I need my head emptying and I want my pain to go away and I'd love for someone to wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

How I'm not wasted every night is beyond me but where will that get me? Nowhere other than with a banging head and feeling sorry for myself, not only that, the answers for all of these annoyances in my life aren't at the bottom of ANY bottle.

I know that from experience.

I want Father's Day to be lovely for DH but I can't find my VaVaVoom!

I want him to know how much support he gives me. I want him to know I love him even when I'm in pain, exhausted and close to tears..... the DLA refusal again means we're going to the Magistrates and I really am scared of letting Nemo down.

It's not the money - that would be nice - but he needs help, he has severe mobility problems and they are fixated on this one area; walking. It's pissing me off because he can walk but not far or for long and when he's on an off day, he just can't do it. he says his legs hurt. The woman who wrote back said "In y opinion, DS choses not to walk".

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! FFS. She doesn't know him. Get a day off and come and see how much he struggles, his deformed feet, special shoes, moulds, wheelchair, bath step, low level bannister, bed guards, the way he just lolls to one side and can't sit up straight...... They've not written to his GP or ANY of his consultants so we now have to do that, in very little time.

I'm so scared that we'll run out of time. It's all just one big bugger of a frickin mess.

I need to put my boy to bed ready for the journey tomorrow so I'll be back later.

I'm so sorry not to talk to anyone, totally rude of me but I'll read back and try to say hello in a while, I'm not a cowbag and xxx to you all :) x

His Scoliosis is the most painful thing but because he wasn't able to say so, he was just in pain for so long, at least now he can say when he needs to rest, sleep, lie down or going to vomit.

See you all later and I'm sorry for barging in and taking non stop. xxx

I just popped on to say sorry for being so absent. I keep trying to catch up but never get to the end!

I see we have a bevy of beautiful new babes, hello all.

Lovely spanna, I see you were asking after me. I'm fine, things have been a little chaotic but I'm ok.

Huge hugs mouse.

Now back to try and catch up again!!

here's a magic wand for the lovely mouse

mouse that is appalling about the dvla- I have no idea how these people sleep at night.I think that they hope that if it's really difficult for people then maybe people won't apply and they can tick a little box somewhere which says 'reduced target' or some such shit. I'm so sorry- hope you can get it in in the next few days and have phrased in ways that even the 'hard of thinking' can understand.

Welcome to all new babes- happy sober friday

My day started well but went very badly down hill at school collection time-sigh. Ds has also been ill tonight and I'm a bit frazzled now.

Night sweet crazy babes

Good grief, Mouse - what a massive load you are carrying! I'm in awe that you articulated all of that AND that you are still sober. Of course you're correct in that the bottom of a bottle doesn't hold any answers, but much credit to you for being able to see that in amongst everything else - especially the pain, which sounds unrelenting and ghastly. What does come across very strongly, though, is what a close-knit family you seem - pulling together. I can only imagine how much you must miss your mother who must have been taken far too soon - mine is 85 and I can't imagine having lost her at such a young age.

And someone told me last week (I have only been on here a week ...) that I should never apologise for talking about myself. That most definitely goes for you. I wish that I had a stop button, a magic wand and all the funding for DLA (disability living allowance??) in the world - glad that you are bign given good advice though.

I wish that there was something practical that I could offer. Your post was very powerful - it's certainly made me think that my own issues are at the very least more manageable than I thought. It's sometimes about perspective .....

Hope that you'll be back over the weekend - and that you get some decent sleep away from the pain. Sending huge . xxx

bign?? That should be "being"!

Sorry, I've not read back babes, hope everyone is ok. Just to say I haven't been around for a while because my mum was very ill. She died today.

I'll be back with you all soon but may absent myself for a short while. Love to everyone, keep on keeping on x

Oh, Faire, so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you xxxxxx

Mouse you too.

Wishing you both strength and sending love

Ah Mouse.

I am a recent recruit, drawn in by your thread titles.

My dnephew has CP.

He also "chooses" not to walk.

I'm so sorry your support has been so shit. I must admit that silly woman's comment made me laugh sarcastically

Clearly they are LAZY boys. Yup. That's it.

Ffs.

And for you Faire.

My DM died 14 months ago. I can on,y imagine some of what you're going through.

Just sending hugs and love.

faire my lovely friend, my heart goes out to you. Sincere and heartfelt condolences. We'll be here whenever you need us xxxxx

faire I'm sorry to hear about your mum

And mouse no wonder you're exhausted, I hope you manage to find some time to rest yourself

Nuff I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. Sending you hugs and strength xxx

Mouse lovely I'm sorry that you're going through all of this on top of everything else. You are an amazing woman and I am full of admiration for you xxx

Hugs to everyone of you x

Good morning to all and especially Faire, for when you venture back on here. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Sending you peace and strength and . I hope that you have some good support in RL. Look forward to making your acquaintance properly in the future. xxx

Faire, love and thoughts to you. I hope you are bearing up. I will be thinking of you xx

Oh fairie I so sorry to hear your sad news. I wish you love and strength.x

Love and hugs to Faire and Mouse xx

Oh faire so very sorry to hear of your loss. You give so much support to the babes on here all the time, I wish we could help you. My thoughts are with you.
mouse that all sounds awful my friend. You have such an enormous amount to deal with in your life, and poor DD. Sounds like the bus needs a sprinkling of magic dust. Where is indie when we need her?
Been soldier ogling....mmmm hmmmmmm!

Lovely Faire, am so sorry to hear about your Mum . Sending lots of strength and support to you xxx

Mouse also warm thoughts to you, what a rough ride you are on right now. X

Love to all of you babes, on each of your individual journey's.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

So very sorry not to reply to you all but my darling Faire - I have logged on to try and clear my netbook of shite, files filed with crap and ads etc I don't need stuff, and found your post.

I went to the Crem today, with DD (her second time) and Nemo (his first).

Trying to explain to a little boy of 6 with SN/LD who simply misses his grandma was something of such simplicity to him.

We found where Mum is Interned, put some cut Peonies from the garden down that I'd wrapped in pink paper and raffia, and a lovely card, telling her that we all missed her, especially on days like yesterday, her Birthday.... and I touched the plaque whilst shedding a tear, telling her how much I loved and missed her.

Nemo bent down and put his tiny hand next to mine and said with such warmth "Grandma, I miss you and I will always come and see you in your little box"

Well, I didn't know whether to correct him or just let him have that dream, that thought. That's where his Grandma is. In that little box with flowers on the top.

Such innocence can take the very breath from your lungs.

Faire - You must be absolutely beyond thinking about anything but your loss, and rightly so. Please know that every single Babe, new or otherwise, will be feeling your pain darling.

You know that you can post on here about your mum as much as you need to don't you? No-one will get bored, we support each other, that's what we do.

Whether it's children, money, husbands, family or loss, we are always here for each other.

I wrote something in my Mum's card today. It said - "Loss leaves a heart-ache that no one can heal. Love leaves a memory that no one can steal"

Take that with you on your journey over the next few days. You need as much support as you want so post when it feels write. Ask questions is you needs to, if it helps.....

We all love you. You've been such an anchor and source of support for us Babes, now it's our turn to be there should you feel like falling, should you feel like crying, should you feel like screaming, should you feel like ranting.

Yes, you have a family to look after, but you also have to look after YOU.

We'll walk beside you, be your 'whatever' but don't not post because someone else is having a shitty time.

We ALL have shitty times my darling lady. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love to you and your family, Mouse xxx

PS - sorry for any typos, as I said, I'm trying to sort this netbook out!

PPS - Do what you have to....... and you know what I mean by that. No judgy pants on this Bus! xxx

Dearest Babes

Thank you ever so much for taking the time to read my post of utter moaning and whinging, but more so, for giving such kind and lovely responses.

Today I drove for the very first time to the Crem, with DD and my wee Nemo. Then we went on to see my Dad. That was hard. It's his second Father's day without my Mum to just 'be' with him.

I know I've not read back properly but how are you all, whose great at giving updates?

I've missed loads and feel guilty.....

I'll try and catch up but it I can have a tiny rundown, that would be ace.

venus - I think you're needed my darling friend for our wonderful Faire? Maybe? I know that you gave me great comfort when my Mum passed.

Ma - how's work and WB? How are the DD's getting on? xx

Lobster - you really touched my heart with your words, thank you.

This next week is about to be hell on earth as we must get the tribunal in to the Magistrate to contest the decision re Nemo's mobility. They are going to be challenged on the 'behaviour' line for a start, rude cow!!

Anyway, it's now Father's day and Nemo is in our bed today because he's feeling wobbly. He was sent home from school because he was not feeling so great.

I feel so sorry for him at times, all he goes through.

Right, no more moaning!! FFS! That's all I've done!

We got stuck in traffic as well too. 45 mins to get to the Chester roundabout and to be re-routed to feck knows where!! Then all the way back again.......

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

And so to bed, with thoughts of you all and hopes that you're all well, sober, or drinking under control and also I'd like to say that you guys are my rock. Absolutely, you are huge amounts of support and no prejudice is ever involved when I post.

Thank you for being on the Bus. All of you. I love you all so much for caring and posting about it.

Now it's time to do the same for yourselves... post about YOU, your pains, what hurts you and why... think this of a kind of Closer magazine but without the crappy lies and unkind bollocks they print.

I hope Nemo sleeps tonight.

Be back soon lovely Babes xxx

Heymouse update from me is that work has run out of time despite the best efforts of all and of lovely boss. There will be a board meeting next week. Dad is now in full time care and we have to clear his house and sell it to pay for the care.
Me and WB continue on as there is no other option right now. DDS are fine, both have part time jobs which helps with the finances a bit. Ds is happy and making friends and much more settled. That's about it. Smear test came back fine, still waiting for scan results.
Give wee nemo a squidge from me.

Don't feel guilty, Mouse.

You have so much going on.

Update from me - have been v good at keeping a lid on things. Very happy. Dd and DH are splashing each other in the bathroom and she's laughing like a loon.

Gearing up for an AF Tues and Wed, FX.

Have a lovely Sunday/Father's day for those celebrating. Missing mine dreadfully today as always.

Hey indie.