The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Shaping Up For A Super, Sober Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

This is 'Gerald', our trustworthy, non judgemental Bus, full of a variety of posters who have travelled long and far, or even just joined us a few stops ago.

This is a place where you can be who YOU want to be. 24/7, 365. This lovely place is just like your best friend, there's no slagging off, no judging, just us.

Drinking or not, embarrassed, fed up of the way things are, or just lonely of living the way drinking makes you do, come and take a peek and see what you think.....

THIS THE LAST THREAD WE HAD

AND THIS IS WHERE THE BUS WAS BUILT, WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We can't wait to meet you, we won't bite! Well, unless you ask very nicely.

Take good care until we see you. :) xx

Hi - here to join the battle against the wine witch

Hi Petri, welcome to the bus

Ma is there any of it within your control? Are you waiting for results from hospital, or another appointment? Would it be easier if you only had to look after yourself and ds? Sorry it's so hard for you right now x

Waiting for results that's out of my control
Job- fighting desperately but ultimately out of my control
If job goes- can't pay mortgage so house goes. Out of my control
Dh - could argue that I have some control over whether I stay or go but I don't really as it is dependent on finances which is dependent on job - see above.
Dad's health - out of my control.

But thank you faire. You have made me start to think about how I can get some control...

Oh bless you ma, I hope the results are not too long coming x

Many mortgages companies will allow a mortgage 'break', or let you underpay for 6 months or so. Maybe talk to them, see if they can help?

I don't know. Keep letting it out here if it helps. If only this bus was real, you could kip here, get carried all over the world and fed delicious treats when the trolley comes round.

Thanks Faire.

Have a bottle of a wine a night habit Haven't had a night free of booze for months.

Have downloaded the drink aware app and have not ordered any wine for this week.

I have no cash to buy booze and have locked my debit card away.

Hi Petri and everyone else - ma, so sorry to hear that you're having the out of control feeling - I can totally relate to it and frankly think you deserve a pat on the back in a non patronising manner for just the one bottle a night. My worst times have been 24 hour drinking and could be up to three or four bottles in that period, not that that did any good but to make me feel even more isolated than before. I'm very new and not familiar with people's stories as yet but very much relate to the ones I have read. And yes, thinking about what can be controlled (and the wisdom to know the difference, etc) is how I try to deal with things, although fail miserably at times when it all seems overwhelming, e.g. by stuffing any brown envelopes from HMRC into a drawer. Really sensible. Hope that your results arrive soon.

ma massive hugs x It WILL get better,it will pass. That was a good idea from fairie about lowering mortgage for a bit. I don't have any sensible advice so I'll just keep my fingers crossed for you.

Big welcome to new babes- this is a great place

I'm not going to do a NC because I'm still bloody ill. It's been the virus from hell and I've deffo joined the 'clapped out old birds club'. I'd go and whinge at the DR but it takes weeks to get an appointment round here,and it's just a virus,so there's nothing I can take.Bugger.

Any clever babes who know anything about drinking / stopping drinking and the immune system?

On a happier note I have now saved over 100 quid by not drinking very much at all.

lovely mouse I'm sorry I don't know anything about dvla claims. They seem to be being made much harder for people to claim though. Can you go to the CAB? Would that help? Sorry.

Morning Babes

Busy Saturday and very lazy Sunday All good, feeling a bit Monday-ish!

Welcome Petri

Lobster you've doing really well, I can relate to alot of what you say. Hang in there babe and stick with us x

Hands Day 15 (or is it 16) Woop woop

Sweet Pup is gorgeous

My best mate is getting married at the end of July (some of you may remember, her partner had a stroke about 2 years ago) they're getting married to cross Ts and dot I's (her words not mine) So she's asked me to be a witness and DD2 to be ring bearer. And she wants me to organise the day and make sure everyone is ok and no one wants for anything etc (all good as I'm good at this kind of thing, especially with my sober head on!) Anyhow, last weekend she mentioned champagne and toasts and basically said 'well you will be toasting my wedding day with some fizz, won't you spanna?' Well no I said, as you know I am sober and not drinking, 'just one glass she said, it is my wedding day, after all' 'Well more than likely not' I said. 'I will have fizzy elderflower' She's not happy!!! we've not spoken about it since. Interesting situation and if I did have a toast, I know my drinking wouldn't stop there and I wouldn't be in any fit state to make sure the day was running smoothly

Have a good day every lovely Babe, sorry not to NC you all. Big love x

Morning

spanna it's daft,isn't it? It makes no diifference to anyone if you have champagne/fizzy water/cola/iced tea- does anyone know or care what their guests drank at their wedding?

I wonder why she feels strongly about it? I guess that all you can do is gently explain. Actually having a job to do is a good way to stay off the booze,so you don't need pressure from anyone to drink.

Anyhow- morning all

Hi babes.

Today I will not drink.

Spanna - interesting; this lady seems to think that you are not a "proper" guest unless you drink booze.

Morning all

Thank you again for the welcome. The weekend was good - a 50th birthday party and my great niece's christening yesterday (not happy about that - I'm a great aunt twice over at 45! But my nieces are all late twenties). Weirdly - or perhaps this is common - I am never tempted to drink at such occasions; my drinking was always done at home alone. So I'm happy with water and, unlike spanna, my family and very close friends who are aware of the situation would probably wrestle any wine glass from my hand! In fact, I poured myself a rose-looking glass of blackcurrant squash at yesterday's christening and felt the need to explain to a couple of people that it was definitely not alcoholic ..... however, some years back I suppose there was more expectation that in order to have a good time, you must have a drink and that you are in danger of spoiling someone's day if you don't. Madness, of course, when one drink is too many and a thousand is not enough. Hopefully, spanna, you can explain although to be honest I am impressed that as your best friend she doesn't know that you have an issue - you must be much better at disguising it than I am ....

Today I am on day 24 and I am hopeful that I will not drink. I do not intend to do so, but I have been here before and am conscious of how swiftly my good resolutions can change.

Wishing all a happy and drink-free day.

Day 1 for me. Happily I feel rubbish anyway so maybe that will make it easier!

Lobster and Spanna you are doing brilliantly. I hope to follow in your footsteps.

Petri - welcome. I am new too so don't expect any words of wisdom from me. But good luck!

Ma. I hope you get some control back over all those difficult factors in your life soon. You definitely deserve a break.

Morning beonit and thank you for the encouragement! Sorry to hear that you're feeling rubbish and sending you lots of virtual support for your day one - I find the first couple of days the hardest by far, especially if I've been drinking daily for a couple of weeks or more. Then I seem to get on a bit of a roll until three weeks are up - this time I am determined to keep going beyond the three week mark, which is why I'm taking steps to keep my resolve strong. Distraction works for me - even having a decent book to read, cooking, helping DD with her A level work (very happy she's doing Othello as it's my favourite play - I like the dark stuff), posting on here, looking for my next contract work. I'd love to get into exercise but I've never managed that ..... hope you find some things that work for you.

Good morning, darling Babes!

Welcome, Lobster! And well done on Day 24!

Welcome Petri!

spanna and Hands You're doing great, babes!

Weekend was lovely. I did not stay AF but you would all have been proud to see me being the example of moderate drinking!
I have to be honest and add this was aided by a murderous headache on Saturday. Pretty much the whole day. Went out Sat eve and since I had to drive, no drinking.
Yesterday I did have a glass of fizz and a glass of chardonnay, though. But all very grown up.

Monday, bloody Monday.

xxx

Morning babes, I did have wine on Friday night but strangely enough when I was on the second glass I felt a bit tipsy and switched to water !! My friend polished off the rest of the wine.

Waves to all babes

Hello babes, Happy Monday.

Been AWOL for a week as ridiculously busy with kids activities, sorting out house etc. Work situation still up in the air and stressful, WB still being useless, but same old same old in a lot of ways so won’t bore you all with it.

Ma - big hugs to you lovely . I know you are in a difficult situation on all sides, I wish there was something practical I could suggest to help. Can your OH take on any more work to help with money worries? How are things looking job-wise? Please take care of yourself and get some rest. Nobody in the family would cope if you got ill, so try to make them see that you need some time for yourself. Just take an afternoon out if you can, or even an hour, go for a walk, read a book, watch a bit of trashy TV. And post when you can just so we can support you and give you opal fruits xxx

Hands thanks for asking after me! How was Zumba? I cannot Zumba, I look ridiculous. Was it you that asked about Spinning though? Went again at the weekend. Spinning is as hard or as easy as you make it as you can turn the resistance on the bike up or down. The instructors generally shout and threaten to turn up your resistance themselves if you aren’t working hard enough but they seldom do. I always try really hard and turn it up as high as I can stand, but I always see people pedalling so fast that there is no way they are really going for it, so it’s for all abilities. You should give it a go, it’s fun. (I’m still fat though. Possibly because I have embraced the ‘eat more fat’ part of a low carb diet without actually cutting out any but the most obvious of carbs. ) Day 15 today!

Welcome to Beonit, Petri, Still, Vichy and Lobster Hope you are all settling in OK and being taken care of by the babes. Nice to have you join us. A bottle or so of wine a night used to be a given for me but I haven’t drank like that for months now. Not to say that I am OK with alcohol, far from it – I tend to binge when I am stressed / depressed, and I find stopping once I have started is a struggle, but I no longer see it as normal to open a bottle every evening after dinner, and am learning coping strategies with the support here. We all have different drinking ‘styles’ but there is nothing you will have done that won’t strike a chord with some or all of us, and there are definitely no judgy-pants here. Which, with the amount of times I’ve slipped up, is a jolly good thing

Spanna hey babes! How’s the wedding planning going? Really odd that your friend cares so much whether you drink or not? I bet if you just drank the sparkling elderflower then a lot of people would assume it’s champagne anyway. Just don’t discuss it anymore and then do what you want anyway. I bet people on the day aren’t going to declare it a disaster just cos you don’t have a sip of fizz! And if you are planning it then you will be basking in the warm glow of approval and a job well done, so won’t need the artificial wine witch buzz!

Khalisi - how are you lovely woman? Please post some fitness inspiration here to stop me eating cheap kids’ sweets in front of the computer!!! Am seriously getting fatter . Even with all the exercise. Sometimes I think due to my age this may be as good as it gets. 15 days of not drinking has made no difference to my waist, sadly…. Well done to you and to Obrigada on the moderate drinking too! Not tested myself since drunken Friday night out in May, but I know how hard it can be so you both deserve massive congratulations for having cracked it!

Sweet good to have you back, and cannot believe how pup has grown. Gorgeous . I really want a dog now but the family all want a cat instead so am sticking to my no pets household for now. Don’t need any more responsibilities just yet with my life up in the air, but then I see photos of pup and get dog envy anyway!

Guggs hope you are feeling better. Don’t know about alcohol and the immune system but I suppose it makes sense that if your liver is tired out you will be more vulnerable. But then again I’m not a medical person and you could just be unlucky and have caught a nasty bug. (tucks Guggs in and hands her a hot chocolate and selection of trashy magazines to read as she recuperates)

Mouse is everything OK ? I had no advice to offer about your issue but I hope you found the answers you were after – sorry I couldn’t be of more help. Let us know how you are

Waves to Beaches, Faire, Isinde, Joey and Small and any other babes out there lurking…

Off to do a food shop now and hopefully stay away from the biscuit aisle…

I am drinking out of habit and lack of purpose. I know I cannot hold a candle to the Brave Babes who are juggling so many important issues and rising above them. I have no excuses.

Ah Boswellox if you'd known my excuses for drinking..... important things like the sun shining, or the grass needing cut, or a reward for having sorted out the car insurance (a 10 minute job online btw), or because it was Wednesday and no-one would be home until after 8pm and I could get away with it, or because I watched a sad tv programme about re-uniting families, or well.... I'm sure you get the picture. I used any and every little excuse under the sun.

This drinking stuff is not about that, it's about a habit that helps us cope in the short term, or adds excitement in the short-term, but then goes on and on and on and becomes a really ingrained part of our behaviour. Welcome aboard.

Afternoon babes, posting to give me a nudge, day 1, again. Struggling with avoiding it. Got to go to aldi on the at home which is hard to leave without wine, then have to clean house for a viewing tomorrow which I also struggle with either 'I need wine to get through this' or 'I deserve wine for the hard work'. Sorry this is brief but I'm at work and need to post before I think 'sod it I'll start tomorrow'

Day 1 done and dusted. Am safely in bed with my book. Day 2 bring it on!

Evening ladies. Day 15 today . I don't usually get past day 2. I read a sober blog several months ago and the author said that after 2 weeks of being AF people were asking her if she'd had a face lift as she looked so much better. Just looked in the mirror - nope, don't think anyone's going to be accusing me of that! My rosacea hasn't cleared either, probably due to the amount of sugar I'm consuming on a daily basis! However I do feel so much better which is the main thing.

Glad you're ok Hope I'll definitely have to give spinning a try. I always go at the back at zumba so nobody sees me make a fool of myself. And being a miserable cow I'm definitely not one of the "whoop whoopers"!

Got to pick DS up from the station. Will be back to nc properly tomorrow. Hope everyone's ok. Have a great evening babes xx

Evening all - well done beonit for getting day one out of the way - that's the worst over with - hope that day two runs smoothly.

Boswellox - I can relate but we all make excuses (I certainly do) in an attempt to justify our behaviour. I don't think we can compare emotional pain, either - or rather our personal response to it. My mother has lost a sister (21), a son (5) and both parents, aside from anything else but has never been drunk in her life. That used to make me feel strangely guilty, because by her standards (if I wanted to compare) nothing that bad has happened to me. My chemical balance - or maybe imbalance - just means I react differently.

Hoping that everyone else is having a good evening. I have to see my doctor tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. I'm supposed to get my BMI up to 18.5 and my systolic blood pressure up to 100 which, apart from eating salt, seems impossible. Any advice gratefully received - have googled but to no avail really. I've had a couple of inconvenient fainting episodes recently.

Night to all.

Morning Babes

Looks like it's going to be a sunny one and I have to got to work

Pet, Lobster, just to clarify, my friend is not a huge drinker and doesn't understand that, for me, having even half a glass of fizz will make it hard for me to get back on track staying AF. I meant for the 'toast' at the reception. That's all

Hope good to see you babe you're sounding busy and bright. Hugs to you babe x

April , Fox how are you babes?

Hands it is indeed an amazing feeling after a few weeks. It only gets better babe, I can promise you that

Baby how are you darling? hope you're ok x

Beaches hope you're ok my friend, what you up to this week?

Sweet 'where'd you go Bernadette' arrived yesterday, quite excited to read something new, get me, living the high life, full of thrills

Guggs I hope you're feeling better. I hope you manage to banish your lurgy soon x

Khalisi you are a babe you're are doing so well and focusing on moderating which is awesome I wish I could do it but know I can't (for now, if ever) I hope you're neighbour's ok. Have a good day darling x

Have a good day everyone