Problems with children, new partner and ex

[needwine2015]

Name changed for this.

I split with my EA bastard ex husband and have since met someone else. Ex has not coped with me moving on, had threats to shoot us with the children in the house, kill our parents, generally he's been a complete psychotic arse, which wasn't unexpected. Police are aware. New partner is amazing, nice, and normal and we're really happy.

I waited a reasonable amount of time before introducing him to the kids (6+10) as I wanted to make sure the relationship was going somewhere (and he wasn't another psychotic arse!) Ex then issued new threats that he doesn't want new partner anywhere near his kids (only youngest is actually his) and has been quizzing the kids every time they go to his house (he has them once a week)

This weekend they came home and told me that daddy isn't happy and they had told daddy that new partner had been play fighting with them and winding them up and that I had told them off (all very unfair in the eyes of a 6 year old) He did play fight with them, I was cooking dinner and they were messing round in the front room arguing over a PlayStation remote, it ended up with them all rolling around on the sofa, all very good naturedly. I came in and generally told them all to pack it in as they were being loud and I don't like them rolling on the sofa That was it, it didn't end in tears, nobody was upset and it wasn't even anything that particularly sticks in my mind.

Now the kids have gone to ex and told him that new partner was winding them up and fighting with them and they got into trouble. Ex told them that "if he does it again, I'll do it to new partner and see how he likes it"

I can't talk to ex like a normal person and explain that is was nothing because he isn't one and he'll just scream and threaten me. New partner is getting fed up with the whole situation and said last night if it's going to cause problems he'll just see me when I haven't got the kids again. I don't think the kids did anything on purpose to cause trouble, but they've obviously exaggerated the whole story and unhelpfully made the situation worse.

I'm not quite sure how to handle it, I don't want our relationship to suffer, the kids really get on with new partner and ex is NC and contact with the kids goes through parents, so it's easy to ignore him and hope he fucks right off grows up. But the constant threats which is he is now making through the kids because he can't contact me any other way just isn't on.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Hi everyone.
I am still here, work was manic yesterday and I didn't have chance to come back on.

FriendofBill
"They are completely reliant on their mother for protection, who does not seem to recognise death threats as something the police should be informed of"
If you read my original post correctly, you will see the police are aware.
I stated this in the first paragraph.

I don't really know where to start replying to be honest! I'm not an abused woman, I'm not a victim, I married an arsehole, I got fed up and I finally got rid of him. He was never violent, he was a pathological liar and the EA centred around a whole web of lies that he would weave and I would be left to pick up the pieces (Possible gambling addiction but I never got to the bottom of it) He could be a bit of a gobshite occasionally for want of a better word, usually if he was caught out lying and backed into a corner but actually this unstable behaviour has really come to light since we have split up. I don't feel I need counselling, I'm fine, my children are fine and he will be dealt with by the authorities if he carries on making threats, the children are unaware of the threats, they have been made over the phone.

I'm seeing my solicitor regarding contact tomorrow and I will see what he says and go from there.

Poor DP has taken a bit of a mumsnet battering! He rolled around with the kids on the sofa one time and he's a potential abuser! Poor bloke! My dad winds the kids up something rotten and he's been married to my mum for a thousand years and I don't think he's so much as raised his voice! DP is not used to kids, hasn't any of his own and the family don't have any either, I told them off, they stopped and he hasn't done it since. It's hardly a red flag. I do understand however, that my post is a snapshot into my life and so I do appreciate everyone who has posts with their own thoughts and views. I know there can be a pattern of abusive relationships and also I accept play fighting could be a red flag in some circumstances (although I've not heard this) but I know my DP, I know his previous girlfriend (who is actually really nice!) and I know his family and I don't see this insignificant incident as anything I need to worry about.

Thanks again to everyone who has commented.