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Relationships

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Original poster

Anyone started a relationship from a one night stand?

58 replies

wonderstuff99 · 03/05/2015 13:54

I met a guy last night who I had an explosive one night stand with - really tried to hold out but I really couldn't.

This morning he asked where did I want to go from here with him and I mentioned possibly being fuck buddies, which he seemed happy enough with. However, I knew that I liked him a bit too much for that though and knew if I started that up, I might end up getting hurt, so I told his this just before I left. He said he understood, but he really liked me and would like to spend more time with me and that we had each other's numbers.

Now my intention was to not contact him unless he contacted me first, but I am gagging to text him and meet up again. He's got me feeling those butterflies and whilst I know how risky this is, as I'm just starting to properly get over a long term relationship and I know as lovely as he is, I would become addicted to him very quickly, and therefore things could end badly if I got hurt.

I suppose what I'd like to know is has anyone started a relationship from a one night stand that they didn't expect to go anywhere? I've had one night stands before and not felt like this, but I really did feel I connected with him, and he said the same (he said it first too, so he wasn't just making me feel better hopefully!) I think if he'd have felt like it was just sex for sex sake, he wouldn't have mentioned spending more time together? But then again, maybe he was just being polite...

Arghhhhhh! Any advice welcome!

OP posts:

glittertits · 03/05/2015 13:56

Yes. He is now my husband. The trick was not over thinking. I let him chase me, turned him down a few times as I still wasn't sure. Then he got a gf, I was seeing somebody else. We stayed friends though. Four years after that ons we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

kinkyfuckery · 03/05/2015 13:58

I have an ex husband and two kids from a one night stand!!

I'm concerned about your comment about seeing yourself becoming addicted to him, though. That doesn't sound healthy.

RuggerHug · 03/05/2015 13:59

Yes. Together a year and a half now . If you're interested, meet up and see how it goes. Give it a shot rather than wondering 'what if' if you didn't

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 03/05/2015 14:00

I mean as in, I would be more into him than I usually would with other guys! I suppose he's the first person in a while I like and I get that feeling of that I would really love to see him again, not just, yeah it would be nice to see him again.

Hopefully that has explained it a bit better!

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 03/05/2015 14:01

Yes, and married from it.

However... I would hold back a little, now, and see what he does. Let him do a bit of running - don't text him first. I know the whole of MN will come down on me, but he knows you like him, he's told you he likes you, so let him prove that by getting in touch.

HappyGirlNow · 03/05/2015 14:01

Yes.. A drunken one night stand. Just as both our previous relationships Had ended luckily... This was 7 years ago, we got married almost 2 years ago

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 03/05/2015 14:02

Yes. Married to him.

I'd never had a one night stand before so had obviously really hit it off (and I fancied him).

Trills · 03/05/2015 14:03

You've only met him once. You don't know whether you'll get on in more everday situations.

It sounds like you are overinvested already in your idea of what it would be like to be in a relationship with him.

So my advice (meant kindly) is to calm the fuck down.

FaFoutis · 03/05/2015 14:09

Yes. Married him.
I think you are a bit intense about this too. Independence and a healthy amount of distance helps.

Gl81 · 03/05/2015 14:17

Thanks all,I am cooling down as advised and most of you seem to think its best to let him make the first move. So will do that.

BigcatLittlecat · 03/05/2015 14:20

Yes! Told my Mum the next day I had met the man I was going to marry! I had no idea if that was going to happen but I did know he was going to be significant. Coming up for 14 years now!

Jacana · 03/05/2015 14:48

Op, please remember that he asked you where you wanted to go from here, and you answered.."fuck buddies"

He's not a mind reader and if you think you want more its up to you now to tell him? what you said, actually, leaves no doubt...

Lilacflower · 03/05/2015 14:52

Yes my DH

Just meet up with him and see what happens. Try and relax about it though.

Marshpillow · 03/05/2015 14:56

Another one here that married my ONS!

Chippednailvarnish · 03/05/2015 14:56

24 hours after meeting him and your "gagging" to text him and talking about getting "addicted" to him. You're sounding like a bunny boiler...

fairgame · 03/05/2015 14:57

Yes i was with him for 3 years.

fearandloathinginambridge · 03/05/2015 15:05

Another one who had a one night stand and married him - 15 years this November.

When we woke up the next morning we drifted into spending the rest of the day together and then that night and then we arranged to meet up for a drink that week and so on. There wasn't any conversation about what we wanted to do it just unfolded naturally.

I am also wondering why you suggested being fuck buddies as opposed to saying well let's go for a drink or lunch or dinner or whatever. Is there a reason for that? Did you think that's what he would want to hear as a preference to having a date with you? What have your past relationships been like?

ProfYaffle · 03/05/2015 15:13

Yes (now married with dc, 15 years together) but I'd been out of my ltr for about 9 months, was well over him, enjoying being single and was mentally in a very good place to be starting a relationship. That makes all the difference imho.

BifsWif · 03/05/2015 16:00

Yep - married with one child and another on the way. Just take it steady, let him chase you a little bit and see what happens. Good luck!

DinkyDye · 03/05/2015 16:04

Yes, DH. I wouldn't agree to being a FB if you like him. Just say you'd like to see him again. A FB for males rarely has any emotional attachments.

CheersMedea · 03/05/2015 16:09

Op, please remember that he asked you where you wanted to go from here, and you answered.."fuck buddies"

Yes - this. Why would you say such a thing?

To answer your question, friend of mine has been married for 10 years and has 3 kids with a man she had a one night stand with. She met him in a bar; went home with him & did the deed. No exchange of numbers or anything. About 2 weeks later, she went back to the same bar - same guy there, same thing happened. This time exchange of numbers and the rest is history.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 03/05/2015 16:13

Yes, together for 18 years today and 3 kids :)

wideboy26 · 03/05/2015 16:15

Yes - and 39 years and 4 DCs later, we're still going strong. We were extremely lucky to find each ofher when we did as we were clearly ideally suited. We worked at the same organisation although not together, so we had seen each other around and - I suppose - taken a view before we met up for a date. The date...ahem...turned out to be more than either of us anticipated.

Missdee2014 · 03/05/2015 16:18

Yes. He is now my DP of almost 2 years. Not quite a random stranger 1 night stand though - we knew each other before, had flirted a little but it had never crossed my mind that I fancied him as such. Until we were drunk and at the same party and ended up home together.

Hippychickster · 03/05/2015 16:22

I married a one night stand too. Had 2 kids together. It lasted about 13 years so not bad really.
Try and back off a little. You are already talking about getting hurt if it doesn't work out, but you don't know if it will or it won't. You need to just take it as it comes. He may be the love of your life or you may get hurt - that's always a risk we take.
I always think being absolutely honest is the best way. What's wrong with saying 'I'd like to see you again' when asked where you'd like to go from here? He either will or he won't. It sounds like he wants to. I've never had (or wanted to have) a fuck buddy so would never have said that!!
Good luck. I hope you do see him again, and not in a fuck buddyesque way!

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