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Relationships

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Original poster

Anyone started a relationship from a one night stand?

58 replies

wonderstuff99 · 03/05/2015 13:54

I met a guy last night who I had an explosive one night stand with - really tried to hold out but I really couldn't.

This morning he asked where did I want to go from here with him and I mentioned possibly being fuck buddies, which he seemed happy enough with. However, I knew that I liked him a bit too much for that though and knew if I started that up, I might end up getting hurt, so I told his this just before I left. He said he understood, but he really liked me and would like to spend more time with me and that we had each other's numbers.

Now my intention was to not contact him unless he contacted me first, but I am gagging to text him and meet up again. He's got me feeling those butterflies and whilst I know how risky this is, as I'm just starting to properly get over a long term relationship and I know as lovely as he is, I would become addicted to him very quickly, and therefore things could end badly if I got hurt.

I suppose what I'd like to know is has anyone started a relationship from a one night stand that they didn't expect to go anywhere? I've had one night stands before and not felt like this, but I really did feel I connected with him, and he said the same (he said it first too, so he wasn't just making me feel better hopefully!) I think if he'd have felt like it was just sex for sex sake, he wouldn't have mentioned spending more time together? But then again, maybe he was just being polite...

Arghhhhhh! Any advice welcome!

OP posts:

GayByrne · 03/05/2015 16:38

Yup, married this one too.

MrsUltracrepidarian · 03/05/2015 16:51

Yes, also married ONS. In fact it was a -1 night stand as we had not even been out anywhere before we DTD (met on business trip flight)

BigFatPanda · 03/05/2015 17:01

Yes. Been together nearly 9 months now. We never planned it we just loved hanging out together. There was no "talk" no pressure just kind of see where things go. We went for months saying you're not my gf/bf were just friends then we got to christmas and was like are we doing presents? We did and spent New Years together. That kind of sealed it We were talking the other day about when our anniversary is. The first time we slept together or when we became "official"

I know how you feel about becoming addicted to him. I felt the same way and still do. I still get butterflies when I see him. Ahhhhh

FluffyMcnuffy · 03/05/2015 17:12

Another one who's married to mine!

But we both knew from the day we met it would end up this way

Jacana · 03/05/2015 17:25

So, op, you have his phone no. Give him a ring and suggest you meet for a drink. See if you like each other as people? you already know that you're compatible as lovers

Unescorted · 03/05/2015 18:12

Yes - 20 years ago. Didn't think I would run out of fingers and toes for that one.

Gl81 · 03/05/2015 18:22

Thanks everyone,there seems to be a different of opinion as to whether to contact him,so will have to think about that!

I think I said fuck buddy because I'm not sure what I wanted at the point,I came out of a long term relationship last year and so did he. He also mentioned that he was dating a woman for a couple of montha last year who had a child and he decided that he didn't want to do that again. I have a child and whilst I said,I'm not sure whether I want a relationship,I'm cautious of starting anything up that might mean I start to have feelings for him when I know it prob can't go anywhere serious due to having a child.

Velvetbee · 03/05/2015 19:03

Married mine too. 20 years this year.

Psycobabble · 03/05/2015 19:32

Not exactly a one night stand as a bit of texting build up beforehand after meeting him through some training i did

Slept together on the first date though, well about 2 hours in I couldn't wait any longer haha ( never slept with someone that quick before )
Still going strong and both very much in love
As others have said don't overthink just make him aware you'd be up for gettin to know him more and see were it goes

Golferman · 03/05/2015 19:41

Yes, my wife. Been together 42 years (married 40 years this year).

Miss60 · 03/05/2015 19:48

Yes, married my ONS. We are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary next month. We also agreed to a no strings type of thing but fell in love anyway. ( and, well, I became pregnant just three months after meeting him...)

LurcioAgain · 03/05/2015 19:52

Yes - lasted a very nice 6 months (then he moved abroad for a job - we were both grad students, so simply a case of wrong place, wrong time).

The key (cf your comments about being worried on the basis of a single night that you're in danger of becoming emotionally over-involved) is to take it slowly, and try to make light of the first few weeks/month or so. If you're feeling like you're falling for someone you hardly know on the basis of one night's sex (also been there, done it, got that t-shirt - and it chafed like hell, really was not a good place to be), then you need to sit down and have a long hard think about why you're so emotionally vulnerable/needy at the moment.

NerrSnerr · 03/05/2015 19:56

I married mine too. I agree with pp, don't overthink it. Just go with the flow.

AmyElliotDunne · 03/05/2015 19:58

What constitutes a ONS if you started a relationship? Someone you slept with on the first date? If so then yes, 3 years together now. He wasn't thrown by someone wanting to have sex with him in a first date because he's not a Neanderthal idiot so we saw each other again and carried on seeing each other because we got on well and had great sex.

If he hadn't contacted me then it still would have been a great night and yes, I would have regretted it if we hadn't continued it, no way I'd have accepted fuck buddies as a second rate version of a relationship with him though.

Gl81 · 03/05/2015 19:59

I defo don't think I'm falling for him,just like him a lot more than other guys I've dated recently who I thought I liked.

RyanAirVeteran · 03/05/2015 20:04

I am married to my consecutive series of one night stands.

23 years and counting.

withaspongeandarustyspanner · 03/05/2015 20:04

Yes. It lasted 7 and a half years. It was an utter disaster. I regret not leaving it as a one night stand.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp · 03/05/2015 20:11

wonderstuff/GI81 hope you realise you've name changed halfway through this thread from your OP, just in case you have reasons to NC?

Momagain1 · 03/05/2015 20:22

If it ends up a relationship, then it wasnt a one night stand. A one night stand, by definition, does not proceed past the one night. You can't really define it as a one night stand until it fails to be anything else.

You sound unhinged and desperate to have jumped into 'yes, let's be fuck buddies!', first thing in the morning. Followed swiftly with 'but actually I want more than to be a fuck buddy!' as he left. What about just arranging another date and letting things develop?

Now you are all 13 year oldish about wanting to text and talk to him?

Take a step back. Take a deep breath. Good luck.

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 03/05/2015 20:23

Oh, not sure how that happened. One is my old user name! Anyway, thanks for all the advice guys, I was going to text him, but have found out some stuff this evening that meant a few things he may have told me last night may have been porkies! So I'm not going to pursue it. Congrats to all those who did find happiness though! xx

OP posts:

BigFatPanda · 03/05/2015 20:47

Maybe he was trying to impress you. Still, not good to be lying to you I know.

Original poster

wonderstuff99 · 03/05/2015 20:52

No, it was more porkies about times of ending relationships etc. There seems to be a very short time frame between last night and the ending of his last relationship - well short to me anyway. I think it's best to leave it there!

OP posts:

Taghain · 03/05/2015 20:52

Momagain, I think you're being pedantic. Something intended to be a one-night stand can be called just that, even if it develops into something more durable.
My current DP was going out with someone when we had our one-night stand after picking each other up in a club. That was 40 years ago :)

DinosaursRoar · 03/05/2015 20:55

Oh, there's a lot of us who don't have "one to tell the grandkids" story about how we met...

Another one night stand here - together for 15 years, married for 7. So I don't think it counts as a one night stand really, more "slept together very early on in our relationship"

Momagain1 · 05/05/2015 10:39

Right, Dinos!

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