I have set up a mumsnet account just for tris purpose. Someone please give me a bit of perspective. Am I being silly and a total or drama queen or is this as terrible as it feels?
My husband, who I love so very very much, recently told me he doesn't love me. It is his 'go-to' line every time we argue. When he says it, I can see he means it. He doesn't talk to me anymore, doesn't want to do anything nice with me and is so incredibly distant. He used to be the nicest person I had ever met. Now he is nasty, sometimes quite cruel. He is selfish and self-centred. He barely notices I exist.
After reading a post on here about a woman not coping with her husband's affair, things started to seem ... similar. My husband recently changed all of his passwords on everything and encrypted his phone. He takes it everywhere with him. When I asked him why, he got angry and said that he was just being security conscious and that he would take everything off it - he said he has nothing to hide. I checked it when he was putting our daughter to bed. I know that I shouldn't have but I did. He has been logging into his work email account in the evenings and weekends. The password was already entered so I logged in and found that he clearly is having a ... something ... With a woman from work. He had a week off work at Easter and when he went back there are emails saying she missed him and him telling her that he was thinking about her. She writes things like 'thanks for listening earlier'. They arrange to meet in the kitchen at work and exchange playful/ flirty emails calling each other naughty and cheeky.
I haven't found anything else. He says that this woman brightens his day a bit but that there is nothing else.
But the way he acts makes me feel that there is something really wrong happening her. Without going into detail, something has changed intimately. He treats me like meat. I hate it but I let him because I don't want him to leave me for someone who will let him do these things.
I can't sort myself out. My head is pounding and I haven't slept in two days. I can't eat, can't drink. I can't stop crying. I feel devastated. I feel sad, sick and ashamed of myself.
Please, somebody tell me what the hell is happening. Is this normal? Am I overthinking things? How do I get on with life now?