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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

feeling scared and lonely

97 replies

mamaexhaustion · 30/04/2015 21:09

Hello this is my first post I Googled and found this website and I could really use sone Advice.
I live with my partner and i am pregnant which i found out yesterday. He doesnt know because I don't want to be with him any more. I have left him twice but I am back with him and I really just don't know how to break this cycle that I am in. I have been reading about abuse and I guess I am in an abusive relationship although it is hard to think about it like that. I was just hoping for some advice. I find it hard to talk to people as it is so I think the Internet is my best bet As I am quite lonely and a bit scared to talk. I want to leave for good but I don't know how.

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springydaffs · 01/05/2015 12:51

What do you mean you don't know how to make yourself understood? Do you mean you don't know how to explain what he does to you, how he makes you feel?

Unless people have been through it they don't really getting so that's where eg Women's Aid and the Freedom Programme come in bcs they know EXACTLY what is going on in an abusive relationship, how it makes you feel.

Do email them soon - copy this thread into the email. They are the experts and you can trust them. They understand how hard it is and will help you sensitively.

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mamaexhaustion · 01/05/2015 14:29

He is just sitting in the bedroom. He keeps shouting for me and I go up and he doesn't say anything. he just stares at me and then laughs. I hate it. I will email woman's aid

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mamaexhaustion · 01/05/2015 17:02

I sent an email. Although don't see why because I am shit at saying what I need to

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whattodoforthebest2 · 01/05/2015 17:38

Did you copy this thread OP? - then they'll know what's happening and be able to advise you better.

He sounds horrible - can you stay out of his way this evening? Just try and focus on what you need to do to get out of there. I hope Women's Aid reply to you soon.

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mamaexhaustion · 01/05/2015 20:01

I don't know what to do. I feel so scared

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newnamesamegame · 01/05/2015 20:32

Have you sent the email? If you have, you are on the way.

I also phoned the Domestic Violence Helpline, even though my H has never been physically violent, and it was a huge help. You will find sometimes that when you get an outsiders perspective you realise suddenly how bad it has been.

Don't worry about the way you say things, it doesn't matter. No-one is judging you on this.

You have already articulated your situation clearly on here.

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mamaexhaustion · 01/05/2015 21:24

I sent the email. He told me to go out but I can't stop being sick. I don't want to go anywhere.

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mamaexhaustion · 02/05/2015 00:47

I just need a hug

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cardiandcrocs · 02/05/2015 01:46

Sending you a HUGE hug sweetheart. Night night x

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newnamesamegame · 02/05/2015 12:34

How are you today OP? Have you had a reply to your email?

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mamaexhaustion · 02/05/2015 21:31

We had a big big fight and he left. I feel sick and shaky

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mamaexhaustion · 02/05/2015 21:53

Please can someone talk to me

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chocolatedrops31 · 02/05/2015 22:07

I'm here-are you ok? Do you think he's gone for good? Is there anyone in real life you can contact now who can come and be with you? Do you think you're in danger if he comes back? Apologies for all the questions..thinking of you and hand holding

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mamaexhaustion · 02/05/2015 22:13

I don't feel ok. I think I might need to see a doctor. I think I will go and do that

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chocolatedrops31 · 02/05/2015 22:18

Can you call 999?

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flatbellyfella · 02/05/2015 22:18

Have you got your bag packed yet, to make your escape to a women's shelter? You don't need to worry about weeks in advance, just take things one day at a time. When you are in a safe place, thing will become clearer.
Keep posting & you will get valuable advice from MN members who care about your wellbeing .

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newnamesamegame · 02/05/2015 23:06

Hi OP sorry to hear this... Are you safe at the moment? Can you go to be with someone now? Could you use this as an opportunity to get out?

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cozietoesie · 02/05/2015 23:14

If you can call 999 and ask for an ambulance, when you get to the hospital A&E department, tell them you don't want to go back to the house and they should be able to help you there.

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newnamesamegame · 03/05/2015 18:27

Are you OK today OP?

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nicenewdusters · 03/05/2015 20:51

how are things today op ? did you go to the doctors ?

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mamaexhaustion · 03/05/2015 20:54

I'm back home now. I don't know where he is. I wanted to tell them it was him but I just couldn't do it

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nicenewdusters · 03/05/2015 21:35

who did you want to tell "it was him" ?

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newnamesamegame · 03/05/2015 21:38

What do you mean OP -- did he hurt you?

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ApproachingATunnel · 03/05/2015 22:39

Mama, please tell them (GP i guess?), please reach out, this is not a way to live, your life can and will eventually be better Flowers Flowers
Thinking of you

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ApproachingATunnel · 03/05/2015 22:42

Btw, you can always go back to GP, tell him you have booked a smear test if he asks why.

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