If you are struggling to come to terms with the ending of your marriage, no matter how that came about, nor how long it's been, this is the place where you come to say SHIT THIS IS HARD, when you hit those times of despair.
It is the place where it is never rude to interrupt if you're having a bad day and need to vent. No matter what.
It is a place where no one will tell you to 'move on', 'get over it', or 'at least you've got...'
I've also learnt there's actually a helluva lot of studies into 'delayed shock', which occurs around about months 4 - 6 after the trauma. So if you're surrounded by people (or indeed yourself!) expecting you to be 'getting over it by now', and you're feeling worse than ever...then this is why this thread began. You're pretty normal - it's just the 'real world' ain't dealing with this shit.
And if you're one of those for whom the profound shock has just registered on the Richter scale: it's horrendous. You too belong here.
It is the place where the only thing anyone will tell you to do is keep on keeping on (KOKO) and when you feel you can't: that's okay too. Try again tomorrow.
Amongst the shit, there are always giggles. But the only rule is: It is ALWAYS okay to say SHIT THIS IS HARD and interrupt the giggles. No apology necessary.
The bar, owned by Hobbit, but run by committee, is open to all as we wind our way through divorce, come to terms with our individual circumstances, or just cope with adjusting to a new life.
As for some glossary terms:
Jess is our dog, also owned by Hobbit, but here by popular demand. She perseveres with us all needing a daily dosage of her. Hobbit being the fabulous woman she is makes sure we are taken care of.
Izzitinis are a revolting drink. Izzie is gorgeous and inspirational but misguided in the world of bar cocktails.
No. 6's is what we are/were married to. Check out an earlier thread for what we actually call them.
My name is WellWhoKnew. I am divorced. He left me just shy of 12 months ago. He planned it, I was blindsided. Throughout my horrendous divorce, I learnt that our individual situations are always different, our feelings are the pretty much the same - although not necessarily the same at any given moment in time. THIS SHIT IS HARD with moments of light relief.
And our feelings are valid. Equally.
Our values, our opinions, ourselves matter. As well. No matter what they say.
I am trying to rebuild my life. I'm leaving the deadwood behind. I'm learning to laugh again. One day, I will 'move on', 'get over it' and be thankful that I've got what I've got. Until then I KOKO.
The previous thread is this one:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2352545-HOBBITS-BAR-still-finding-it-hard-to-move-on-part-5?msgid=53939716
If you wish to follow from the start, then click on the link above and find all previous links there.
And when times get hard, or you need some motivation, then this song sums it up.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on...part 6.
WellWhoKnew · 23/04/2015 22:11
God you lot - can't leave you alone for a second! DD1 came home from work so have been watching another episode of Scandal with her.
Firstly, I never said my spreadsheets were perfect - rather a work of art 
As for PowerPoint, haven't. The foggiest, but guess I could learn. Then I could muscle on your x Izzie and rid him of what's herface 
Hobbit yes they are your balls but thanks for lending them out. Will return them beautifully polished after hitting him with them - haven't worked out where yet
Drifting good for you for standing firm.
Frizzy well done for eating..baby steps.
Re Poldark, well I wouldn't throw him out of bed as long as he washed and trimmed his hair. And he does have a nice chest. Guess it depends if he has a nice bum...
Ha iwas yes I'd polish Hobbit's balls while she was wearing them - her being so accommodating an' all. Don't think Jess would like it though ( we could give her a glass of loo cleaner with sausages in to keep her happy) 
Hobbit!!
Bobs think Hobbit would enjoy that as she's a prevert but you might be best not polishing her sausage!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Missed the chat last night as was hidden under piles of paperwork 
HRT (twunt/tosser) was obviously annoyed with my detaching strategies last night and in order to finally get my attention he told me I was a 'fucking disgrace' because I happened to mention, when asked who I was voting for, that I might not vote - for the first time in my life -this time round. Can't face reading the literature about election or even thinking about it. Funnily enough got other things on my mind...."People fucking well died so effing women could vote." Do you know- I have never been more sure that that bastard is a total prick and I'm well rid. Sorry had to vent before work. Would be sacked if I said this in
work. Hope everyone has at least an ok day. KOKO all. Xxx. Ps please tell me he's no right to be so offensive about my lack of citizenship at the moment??
Hello new thread, checking in.
Still being heavily subjected to hoovering, why oh why didn't he say any of this stuff before I left? It was all I wanted to hear as well
I see the weather has turned pants just in time for the weekend. Ho Hum!
1 the voting thing
But as he's such a supporter of women's rights I assume he is thinking of a nice fat settlement for you. 
1 re the put downs, I found the best way was to laugh at them - to his face, or just look quizzical and say "really? I'll have to check that one out" (this when he tried to tell me what others thought of me). He hated it when I didn't seem bothered - really wound him up
As for voting - totally up to you and sod all to do with him. We're done those online things so see who we should vote for and we all seem to be in different camps (brought my DDs up to be independent see?!)
Hello, 1 my love, just popping up with my carefully considered opinion;
He's a fucking entitled wankbadger of the first order, tell him to keep his twattish opinions to himself, and FOTTFSOFATFOSM, love hobbit, x
Who's he think he is? Jeremy poxy Paxman?
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What's that saying, Iwas my love?
You can't polish a sausage, but you can roll it in glitter!
Nah, that's a whole different kind of issue ain't it?
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