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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What do you think?

53 replies

whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:10

I am a regular, but have changed my name because I dont really like talking about dh on here.

I looked through his text messages the other day, purely because I am nosy, lol, And I found text messages from a very good female friend of his (I know her too) and one read......

I am feeling horny, so thought I would text you.

Another one said.....

Morning Gorgeous.

Now I know nothing is going on, and totally trust him, my problem is, I dont think a woman should speak to a married man in this way, especially as she know me too, I find it disrespectful. He says they are just having a laugh.

How would you feel???

OP posts:
Tortington · 03/11/2006 19:13

i would text her and tell her there are no secrets in your house - so please refrain from engaging thus with my HUSBAND.

if it carried on i would accidently break the phone

if it carriedon i would accidently break the phone again.

if it still carried on i wouldnt accidently knock her lights out
hope this helps

Mellowma · 03/11/2006 19:14

Message withdrawn

Pages · 03/11/2006 19:14

I would be very upset, and like you would find it disrespectful. I love that my DH and my best friend have their own friendship aside of their relationhsip through me but she would never in a million years speak to DH in that way.

buktus · 03/11/2006 19:14

i would be mega pissed off with him and her, i think custardo's advice is good

how long do you think this has been happening for?

Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:17

She is in a happ relationship too, its obviously just her character, but its still innapropriate.

We were all soposed to be going to her house for a fireworks display tomorrow night, so I have told DH to take ds, and I will stay at home as I dont want to be in her company, he said he will tell he why, I said, go ahead, in fact tell her my problem in front of her dp, see if its no big deal then.

OP posts:
Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:19

They have been friends for about 3 years, but have started going clubbing with a bunch of others over the last 6 months (once a month)

OP posts:
poppiesinaline · 03/11/2006 19:26

I would get this sorted. Totally inappropriate imo. I found text messages on my DHs phone similar to these and I was livid.

I would go to the fireworks display and say something in front of your DH, her and her DP. I would also ask your DH how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot so to speak.

Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:27

Glad you all feel the same as me, he is making me feel like a paronoid jealous psychopath.

OP posts:
Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:29

poppie, I would do that if it was'nt being held at her house, I would'nt feel right confronting her in her own home.

OP posts:
bloodyhowler · 03/11/2006 19:29

custy accidentally knock her lights out! Classic custy!!

Mellowma · 03/11/2006 19:29

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 03/11/2006 19:30

Are you sure nothing is going on? I think this is very odd behaviour, tbh, if one or both haven't got the hots for each other.

Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 19:32

Tinker, I really am positive nothing is going on, at worst I think she just likes to tease.

OP posts:
buktus · 03/11/2006 19:43

would she like it if her dp was teased i think you should go, even if you dont say anything, give the evil eye and be really flirty with dh or something like that, i would have to go i think

divastrop · 03/11/2006 19:52

out of interest,what was your dh's reply to these texts?

poppiesinaline · 03/11/2006 20:02

i would still go - to keep and eye on them if nothing else

overdraft · 03/11/2006 20:02

I would be mega pissed off. What sort of a friend is she to boost her own ego and the expense of your husband.He didn't tell you about the texts either and this would worry me to be honest.I wouldn't just dismiss this.What made you check his texts??

poppiesinaline · 03/11/2006 20:02

and to flirt outrageously with her DP

tribpot · 03/11/2006 20:04

Hmm, would your dh find it so amusing if you were getting similar text messages from a bloke who was "just a good friend"? Methinks not.

Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 20:06

His reply was

you or me to be dominant lol

OP posts:
Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 20:08

DH is the sort of person to find sex talk highly amusing (I sometimes feel like I am married to a colege student) he did'nt tell me because he really does'nt see the problem with it, et I know he would hate it if the tables were turned.

OP posts:
buktus · 03/11/2006 20:10

turn them i say

overdraft · 03/11/2006 20:11

If he thought there wasn't a problem then why not just tell you or involve you in the fun? Are you annoyed that it has been going on or it has been kept a secret?

Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 20:12

I am more annoyed it has been going on, annoyed at her for doing it, and annoyed at him for letting her.

OP posts:
Original poster
whoseright · 03/11/2006 20:18

He knows I have a habit of going through his phone once in a while, so he would of deleted them if there was anything to hide.

I have just checked his emails, he does'nt know I know his password, they have exchanged several emails too, but all seem totally innocent, about job interviews and arranging thier next night out, and what from her that said........

My sex drive has come back with a vengance, dp is in for some luck.

pehaps she is sex crazed

OP posts:
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