Am i odd or just realistic?

[confusedoflondon]

Given the amount of marriage breakdowns we see on here and in life in general I tend to feel that the living in someone's pockets Can and does often breed contempt over domestic things. Been married got the t-shirt. So my partner who I've only been with a relatively short time I would happily marry tomorrow. But not live together. Til we are old. I think this makes sense as we happily live apart now. Have no children together and will not be having any - I am 43, he's 37. He agrees it makes absolute sense but admits he is more governed by societal norm on the matter than me. Thoughts?

Yes absolutely and I do feel if I could successfully live with someone with would be DP but I just have form at being rubbish at it.

I used to feel like that Jackie, but....

it wore off:o

whatever floats your boat eh, living with someone has felt right for me in the past but we all change as we go through life and it's hard to predict how you will feel about anything in the future!

Yes well that is very true. Whatever ones choices, these are a good thing as with things like this it is so important to know ones own mind and the things we are comfortable with

My ideal scenario would be living next door to a partner, and we can pop round and visit each other every day, stay over each others houses and go on dates. I can't think of anything less romantic I've done, relationship-wise, than co-habit. I don't like sharing my space all the time and I don't like having to compromise. And don't get me started on house work and all the little irritations that come with cohabiting!

I can absolutely see the attraction of this! Live as it suits you to live. Agree with Livid that cohabiting can really strip all romance out of a relationship, especially when you throw young children into the mix. A friend of mine watched her parents divorce, only for them to get back together - but remain living apart. They (IMO) have the best of all worlds now!

I think some people would find this an optimal set up but are perhaps put off because it goes against convention, or becauseof fears that it means that the relationship is somehow lesser because you don't want that shared domestic life?

Yes I see your point suzannecanthecan Its a weird one. As I say I've been married and also lived with more than one long term partner (one before my exh and one since). All three were very different men, so I'm the common denominator - and I am just awful at domesticity. I really feel I've met my other half in dp - as my friend puts it - it's my goldilocks moment as in he's just right awww - so I dont want to bum it up by bring rubbish to live with when we are so happy. Hopefully life will continue blissfully as it is now

Oh, that made me laugh confused!
Am also totally crap at domestic things. Just basic stuff like tidying (can happily walk over stuff on the floor for days before realising I ought to pick it up) , shopping sensible stuff for dinner, bedtime is all over the place. Though it is bound to be as my youngest is autistic and needs much bouncing just to calm down.
But this in comparison to someone with clear shelves neatly lined with books. (I always wonder wtf, where are the dirty socks and assorted crap that we always have on our shelves?)
And a tidy kitchen. And children who go to bed at 7?
To try to blend this is a disaster-in-waiting, and like you I really dont want to mess it up because we go sowell together In all other respects. Now, who can formulate this in such a way without resorting to paint oneself as an absolutte slob :)