Mil is EA to me, now dcs and possibly FIL

[maroonedwithfour]

I've put up with MIL for the last 15 years. She has recently started on my dcs. Enough is enough.

I am doing nothing to encorage a relationship, limiting contact and not allowing her to babysit. Advice appreciated.

Dh has convinced me to let 2 dcs go on holiday with her and fil, they want to go, can't really stop them but won't be happening again.

Also visiting them for a weekend. Really feel like staying in a hotel. I cant not go as dh will need help getting dcs there. It will be fine as dh will be there.

I'm just venting.

Well I think you might need to give more detail of her ea behaviour.

You can stop them.

Need more details of her ea behaviour. What has she done..?

Not really limiting contact if they're going on holiday and staying the weekend with them though is it?

You are letting your children go on holiday with an adult who abuses them ??

It was a mistake posting this. Sorry.

Why was it a mistake? People want to help

Because its 15 years of crap that can only be told in dribs and drabs, i m nit sure i can explain properly.

try to give us a small example marooned? #What do you mean by 'she has started on the kids'?

I only realised that she was EA recently just thought she was nasty.
Children want to go, it will cause ructions if I say they can't go. Its nit fair on dcs and dh to never see them. Just want to reduce it from after these trips.

Ok, for example dd2 had a show a few weeks ago. I went to see her. Because of how mil treats me I won't be alone with her. Dh at work.
Dd2 mentions show to her, she gets all huffy and says why couldn't i come? I won't tell fil as he will be upset. Dd2 is 10 she was very upset by this.

Dd1 is a teenager. If she doesn't do or eat what mil wants she asks her over and over and eventually strops.
Dd1 refuses to go on holiday with them.

When dd3 was 5 and they babysat, she cried for me and mil told her to stop that stupid crying.

Your mil was disappointed because she would have liked to have seen her grandchild in a show and didn't get the chance? That's neither emotional abuse nor nasty.

What does your husband say about your concerns?

See I knew it wouldn't come across how she does it. Shes very sly. This is why this was a mistake. Im just going to get jumped on. Shes made my life hell for years and treats fil like crap.

sorry I do not see how that is 'EA' you would have to be more specific. Your MIL wanted to see your dd in a show?

Dh agrees with me.

Hi Op,

Can You be a bit more specific in what has gone on? If You take your time and try to explain we may be able to advise you better :)

Its not that she wanted to see her in a show, thats fine. Its that she waited until she was on her own with dd to make her feel bad and used emotional blackmail. As i said she couldn't come as I won't be on my own with her.

More ructions than her dripping crap into their heads?

Ok, when I had my dd1 she turned up when I was in labour and refused to leave when We came out of hospital. She took dd and said she wa looking after her, she was a few days old.

Constantly turns up hours before agreed time.

Asked when i had an ectopuc if i was having an abortion.

Threw a strop when asked to mind dcs when I needed to be admitted to hospital.

For years called me by dh girlfriend's names, also showed me pictures of said girlfriends and spoke gushingly about them.