Found out colleagues been having an affair - his baby is 2 months old

[Deeplyshocked]

Sorry to keep this abrupt - am shocked.

Two 'nice' (or so I thought) colleagues having an affair. Since last September. His baby is now 2 months old. So through the pregnancy.

A group of us socialise together which is how I found out. One of them is a friend of mine.

Am horrified .

Worked with someone who had an affair with a MM. They eventually got together officially. Listened to all the stories of what an evil woman the wife was etc. Never looked at colleague in the same way again and I never went to visit her in house they set up together. We all judge and in this particular scenario it would be hard not to feel really sorry for the wife. I think it must be quite sickening if they are flouncing around like love's young dream.

Nobody ever said it was easy but leaving an unhappy relationship is the honourable thing to do as long as any children are looked after properly in terms of love and money.

As your colleague has told you they are having an affair it is reasonable that you can express your opinion about it to them. There is no obligation to smile politely. Actually not telling them you disapprove probably makes the affair seem more acceptable.

When I was young and naive and selfish I had a relationship with a MM. The term bubble of denial is very apt- I had no understanding of how devastating infidelity would be for his wife. Only a few of my friends tried to talk me out of it, and now I am grateful for their disapproval, as this was a factor in my ending it eventually.

I would feel differently about them both. I couldn't help that. But I would want to remain professional. I would refuse to discuss the relationship with either of them - steer the conversation away if it went in that direction. if your opinion is asked give it, politely.

Like Phoenix, I am wondering what on earth some of you are on about. Being disgusted by people who have affairs is apparently a worse blot on society than affairs themselves, the consequences of which wreck havoc on lives and destroy the fabric of society - broken families and the poor outcomes associated with these are not to be underestimated.

Some of the views expressed here are drivers of the moral decay we see today. Selfish people exercising their so-called rights to hurt and destroy lives for temporary gratification. Haters of human decency, lacking manners and human empathy.

There is no excuse or back story that can justify lying, deceit, betrayal and destroying lives. Why are these vices better than the virtues of honesty and decency? If they are not into their partners, tell them. Let them move on with their lives without being unwilling part of this mess.

... And we should do some more judging of others bad behaviour. Turning a blind eye to these things have resulted in a truly messed-up society. Everyone me ending their own business and not judging.

Just look at some of the recent high profile cases of the abuse (physical, emotionand sexual) of vulnerable people (including babies, youth, and elderly).

OP, since your colleague told you about the affair, she has open the door for you to express your disgust and shock. You do not have to justify your shock. Even if you fainted on hearing the news and needed smelling salts that's okay.

One persons shocked, is anothers disgusted, is another's angry.

They are just words to convey that you think it is not OK.

If she is a good friend, I would tell her how I felt.

If the husband is not a friend of mine, I would not tell him.

And I think it is really patronising to tell someone how they should feel about a moral issue.